Photo by Katherine Chase on Unsplash For those of us with attachment trauma or insecurity in our pasts, there is often a pattern we follow on our way to finding satisfying and secure relationships. If you don't remember what attachment trauma or an insecure relationship are, here are definitions. Secure attachment with a caregiver [...]
There is a common dynamic between couples in conflict. One person feels disconnected or forgotten and the other feels like they need a break or want to escape. What is not obvious when we are in this dynamic with our partner, is that our actions and emotions (or lack of emotions) affect our partner and cause [...]
Lust is at a distance, love is up close. According to psychologist, Dr. Stan Tatkin, if your relationship needs rekindling, lust is not your best bet. Getting physically near your partner and making eye-contact, are better choices. Mate selection at a distance The primitive parts of our brain assess people at an actual distance to see [...]
I recognize the fears and threats I create regarding my relationships. I notice how they arrive at key turning points. After five years of dating post-divorce, I have gained a bit of self and relationship awareness. There is still a mountain of wisdom to be learned, but at this point I see my self-sabotaging tactics and [...]
As I trip along in the dating world again— juggling dates, phone calls, texts and hearts (theirs, mine) — I hold close to my chest the self and world wisdom garnered from my last loves. I keep my head up and eyes open for the soft spark of a secure soul, someone who believes in relationship [...]
A few years ago while engaging in the online dating scene, one intriguing man —a big guy with a blue-collar job and an intellectual mind— brought the term avoidant attachment style to my attention. He and I had one or two dates and several emails filled with interesting and meaningful conversation. We both were huge readers fascinated by personal [...]
