Finding a Safe Haven with Your Partner : The Sweetness of Not Having to Protect Your Soft Heart

By |2016-08-01T07:50:15-05:00April 22nd, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

This week, I learned my number one need in a relationship. I think many of you will relate. At the end of the day, after running around trying to get everyone's physical and emotional needs met, after the work, after the stress, after reconciling the good and the bad news, after establishing and maintaining boundaries,  after [...]

Introvert Relationships: Avoidant Attachment Style and Introversion

By |2017-02-03T10:45:45-06:00April 15th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

A few years ago while engaging in the online dating scene, one intriguing man —a big guy with a blue-collar job and an intellectual mind— brought the term avoidant attachment style to my attention. He and I had one or two dates and several emails filled with interesting and meaningful conversation. We both were huge readers fascinated by personal [...]

Introvert Relationships: Requesting Alone Time for the Two of You and Not Just to Run Errands or Have Sex

By |2016-03-11T13:22:57-06:00July 17th, 2015|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I recently realized that one-on-one time with my significant other is as vital as time to myself. I need and crave both. They are on equal footing. I used to worry about asking a partner for alone time — so many still don't understand that need for quiet internal recharging. But now I see that I also have [...]

Understanding the Introvert Cycle: Why We Go From Irritable to Ever-Loving

By |2019-06-23T10:43:28-05:00October 11th, 2013|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , |

You're driving me crazy. When are you coming home? ~ Laid, by James I always loved the above lyric.  It tickled me how the singer was so tired of his girlfriend's constant presence but in the end wanted to make sure he'd see her later. Something about that spoke to me. I often find myself needing [...]

I Belong Deeply to Myself But I'll Let You In: The Ebb and Flow of Introvert Intimacy

By |2015-09-22T16:06:57-05:00August 2nd, 2013|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships, Sensuality|Tags: , , , , , , |

My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude. — Warsan Shire The delicious experiencing of our thoughts is so nourishing it is hard to leave that space.  Lovers may entice, cajole, and whimper but still we are drawn to the space of solitude.  The space where we are content and [...]

Emotional Intimacy: An Introvert’s Ultimate Turn On?

By |2015-10-19T11:08:33-05:00July 19th, 2013|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships, Sensuality|Tags: , , , |

When was the first time you made love? The last time? I was in my 40s before I really made love. What took me so long? Why didn't I experience that heavenly closeness and soulmate sanctity before my fourth decade? Because making love involves emotional AND physical intimacy. I never truly felt safe or in love [...]

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During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
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what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
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This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
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your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
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Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
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“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
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