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If you are an introvert and you are also in love, then you know about the internal struggle that can rear its ugly head when the idea of moving in together becomes a reality. On the one hand, you love the person you are with, but on the other hand, you prefer to spend time alone. So, the question becomes, how can you live in the same space without feelings of awkwardness and discomfort while also sharing your love?
We are here to help. In this guide, we will talk about how to set yourself up for success and the tactics that you can use to try to share your love without sacrificing your mental state.
Proper Planning Is Key
Once you and your partner come to the mutual decision that it is time to move in together, proper planning is essential so both of you can be on the same page and start this new stage of your life on the right foot. You may be in love, but you can’t read each other’s minds, so it is important to communicate clearly and often. Tell your partner how excited you are to start a life together but also be honest about your reservations and how being an introvert may affect the living situation.
Even though you share an intimate relationship, it is important to still respect each other’s boundaries. Talk about what you are comfortable doing together and some of the activities that you prefer to do alone. Since you are still getting to know each other, never assume that you know what your partner is thinking and always ask for permission before making plans.
This is also a good time to talk about the specifics of your living arrangement. For instance, talk about your finances and decide who will pay which bills and when. It isn’t always easy talking about finances, but if you wait too long, then money issues could tear you both apart.
You should also consider the size of the new living space and make this an opportunity to downsize your belongings. Go through each room in your current space and donate the items and clothes that you haven’t used over the last year. If you can’t let something go, but it also won’t fit in the new place, then consider renting a storage locker.
Make Space For Yourself
Even though this is a partnership, you are entitled to have some time to yourself. Talk with your significant other about different parts of the house that you can consider to be yours when you need alone time. By this point, your partner should realize that you are an introvert, so this shouldn’t be an awkward conversation.
If you have a spare room that is not being utilized, then use it to create your own personal space. Fill the room with books, games, and other things that you enjoy and spend some time there so you can unwind after work or whenever you are feeling crowded. You can further your happiness and comfort by designing the room to promote relaxation. Paint it a calming color like green or blue, and open the drapes to let in the natural light that will illuminate the space and make it appear larger. You can also decorate the room to your personal style with artwork and photographs that you love.
When moving to an apartment, it may seem more difficult to create that personal space, but you do have options. The easiest solution is to add dividers to a larger room that will create two individual spaces. Then you can decorate one half using the tips mentioned above.
You can also create a habitable atmosphere in a smaller place by simply setting boundaries. For example, if you like to unwind by sitting on the patio and listening to your headphones, then ask your partner to leave you be during this time. Your partner will respect your space. If they don’t understand, then sit them down and explain how you feel.
Find Ways To Spend Time Together
Even though you are an introvert, it is important that you get out into the world from time to time and have some fun with your partner. One idea is to sign up for a club in the area where you can feel more comfortable doing something you enjoy. If you are not sure what to do, then look online for hobby clubs nearby, such as a science fiction club, model railroading club, or sports club. There are all kinds of clubs in existence, and by joining one, you can meet new people with common interests and feel less shy during the process.
Another idea is for you and your partner to go out to places that aren’t as crowded, such as the beach or an outdoor shopping mall. While you are there, you can enjoy the sights and each other without the anxiety that can come with large crowds. In the process, if you happen to meet someone, then do not be afraid of creating a new friendship. At least you will make these new friends as a couple, and it won’t be as daunting.
Remember that stepping out of your comfort zone is important sometimes. You don’t want your fear and anxiety to take over to the point that you never leave the house or talk to another human being. That won’t be good for you or your relationship. You don’t have to meet a new group of people all at once, but ease into a new experience with your significant other, and you’ll feel better in the long run.
As you can see, it is possible to be an introvert and have a happy and successful relationship with your romantic partner. Plan ahead of time, always communicate, set good boundaries, and you will enjoy this new chapter of your romantic history.
What makes your cohabitation with a romantic partner go smoother? What are you still working on?
Luke Smith is a lifestyle and wellness writer who hopes to draw connections between our social, emotional, and physical well-being. When he isn’t writing you can find him traveling or hiking with his dog.