The pleasure, pain and growth of human connection.

Simple Tip to Turn Off Worrying and Help You Sleep

By |2020-01-14T17:26:14-06:00January 17th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I thought I would share a very simple tactic for getting back to sleep when we wake up in the wee hours of the morning. Introverted, highly sensitive and insecurely attached people are extra prone to overactive minds. This tip comes from Tony Hale aka Gary on Veep. In an interview with Dax Shepard, Tony said [...]

Acting Our Way Into Feeling: How Action Motivates More Than Thoughts

By |2020-01-10T07:11:43-06:00January 10th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

The majority of my life I hung back and observed. I did not step in and get to work. I let other go-getters take charge, while I watched puzzled by their boldness and energy. There are many reasons why people do not take action. They might be ignorant of the needed action. They might be incapable. [...]

Top 5 Posts of 2019: From Remarrying and Reclaiming Space to the Dark Side of Kind People

By |2020-01-01T20:00:32-06:00January 3rd, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

This year has been a big growth year. Boy is growth is uncomfortable. From health issues to financial stress to a new marriage and blending families, this year tested me. I did not always pass. I experienced many strong and negative emotions that I had not felt in a long time. That's what long-term relationships do. [...]

Christmas a Time of Connection and Disconnection

By |2019-12-27T13:30:28-06:00December 27th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

It's two days after Christmas and I am starting to relax. Today's post is an informal rambling about our Christmas. Since the divorce, my ex-husband and I have divided up winter break. I get the first half with the kids and he gets the second half. The best part of this arrangement is that I always [...]

Top Seven Reads of 2019: Addiction to ADHD to Childhood Adversity

By |2019-12-19T16:14:20-06:00December 20th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

As 2019 winds down, my yearly reading list closes out. I always aim for 25 books a year but seem to always fall a few short. Perhaps I need to read shorter books to reach my goal.;) This year I had ten (out of twenty) books earn the coveted five smiley face Brenda rating. I'm going [...]

Which Do You Really Need More, Alone Time or Community?

By |2019-12-13T21:10:34-06:00December 13th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I have had two radical belief changes in the last few years. One: I now believe our long term relationships shape our personality and temperament more than introverted or extroverted innate traits. Two: I used to believe I needed alone time to recharge and be at my best. I have recently seen and felt myself most [...]

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Testimonials

I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.

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