Attunement in Parenting and Adult Relationships

By |2020-03-18T13:37:36-05:00March 20th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Over the years,  I've learned how important attunement or active emotional engagement is in relationships. I have noticed misconceptions around what attunement is and what it looks like. In my own relationships, I have missed the boat horribly many times when it comes to applying full attention or rest periods.

Top 5 Posts of 2019: From Remarrying and Reclaiming Space to the Dark Side of Kind People

By |2020-01-01T20:00:32-06:00January 3rd, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

This year has been a big growth year. Boy is growth is uncomfortable. From health issues to financial stress to a new marriage and blending families, this year tested me. I did not always pass. I experienced many strong and negative emotions that I had not felt in a long time. That's what long-term relationships do. [...]

Christmas a Time of Connection and Disconnection

By |2019-12-27T13:30:28-06:00December 27th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

It's two days after Christmas and I am starting to relax. Today's post is an informal rambling about our Christmas. Since the divorce, my ex-husband and I have divided up winter break. I get the first half with the kids and he gets the second half. The best part of this arrangement is that I always [...]

Creating Growth to Feel Alive: How to Grow in Relationships and In Life:

By |2019-11-13T16:58:10-06:00November 15th, 2019|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I listened to author and psycho therapist, Esther Perel, talk about affairs on a podcast the other day. She said in affairs people don't turn away from their partners they turn away from who they (themselves) have become. Esther Perel Esther Perel said when people cheat on their partners, they often say, "I feel so [...]

Why Asking for Help Is So Hard: The Difficulty with Dependence in Relationships

By |2019-10-01T17:15:28-05:00October 4th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

How are you at asking for help? Does it come easy to you? Do you trust you will be assisted? Does it make you feel anxious? Do you try to avoid it? I have discovered that asking for help sets off a cascade of emotions and defenses for me. When Mark and I first started dating, [...]

What the Heck Does Secure Attachment Look Like?

By |2019-09-29T16:07:28-05:00September 27th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I've talked at great length about what insecure attachment in relationships looks like. Check out these posts if you need a reminder: This Is Not What I Expected, but That's OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories Creating Relationship Security When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather [...]

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your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
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Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
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THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
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“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

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I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
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You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
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Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
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