Responsibly Setting Limits in a Long-Term Relationship

By |2021-02-16T10:41:22-06:00February 5th, 2021|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

  I have harbored a lot of resentment over the years. The chief cause? A feeling that my partner buries me with the majority of the mundane, daily, essential, non-glamorous and non-paying household jobs while they soar at their interesting, daily, essential, sexy and high paying careers. The resentment only grew when they expected praise and [...]

The Difference Between Neediness and Needing

By |2021-02-02T16:09:51-06:00January 29th, 2021|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

She is commonly afraid of needing too much and then being rejected, judged or abandoned. Rejection, judgment, and abandonment are most painful because deep inside her unconscious she holds the incorrect belief that she is unworthy of receiving more. This belief was formed and reinforced in childhood every time she had to suppress her feelings, needs [...]

Avoidant Attachment and Caregiving

By |2020-12-10T12:22:07-06:00December 11th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Guest Posts, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

It seems like I have written more personal update posts this year than ever before. Well, here comes another one. Last week my husband had triple bypass surgery. We found out two weeks prior that he had five significant blockages in his arteries. Needless to say, we were thrown into a bit of a tizzy. He [...]

How Much Do Your Environment and Your Relationships Shape Your Personality?

By |2020-05-22T12:09:31-05:00May 22nd, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

I just did one of those personal profile inventories for work. It is based on the Myers Briggs inventory but abbreviated. Interestingly, my results came back significantly different from my Myers Briggs preferences of eight, nine years ago. It made me again believe that we change as we age and go through different circumstances. Tale of [...]

Attunement in Parenting and Adult Relationships

By |2020-03-18T13:37:36-05:00March 20th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Over the years,  I've learned how important attunement or active emotional engagement is in relationships. I have noticed misconceptions around what attunement is and what it looks like. In my own relationships, I have missed the boat horribly many times when it comes to applying full attention or rest periods.

Loss of Autonomy: How One of Our Greatest Fears Affects Relationships

By |2020-03-06T16:10:48-06:00March 6th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

The things we fear losing the most: autonomy, identity and a positive future. If you can help someone maintain their autonomy, identity and future, they will feel safer and more willing to collaborate.

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For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i… Read more
Niko
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring… Read more
J.K.
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un… Read more
Gary

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