I just did one of those personal profile inventories for work. It is based on the Myers Briggs inventory but abbreviated. Interestingly, my results came back significantly different from my Myers Briggs preferences of eight, nine years ago. It made me again believe that we change as we age and go through different circumstances.
Tale of two typings
Myers Briggs had me as introverted, intuitive, feeling and somewhat on the fence between judging (organized, planning, closure) and perceiving (work in spurts, open ended, take things as they come). I was an INFJ or INFP.
The new results from Insights Discovery showed my conscious ‘work face’ mostly as Green which means I choose to connect and care for people first and then my second in command is Blue; I like details, I want things done right and deliberately. Even more interesting, my less conscious ‘natural face’ that we use 99% of the time, had Blue way in the lead for me, with Green next. My type’s nickname is the Coordinator.
From dreamer to detail oriented
It seems I went from a preference for the future, possibilities and intuition to details, information and lots of sensory input. From dreamy to realistic. Both inventories had me listed as introverted. No surprise there, but now I’m accurate, reliable and detailed compared to open to possibilities, imaginative and needing few details to extrapolate full concepts.
As it so happens, my husband took the same Insights Discovery inventory the same week I did. His company used a less comprehensive version, but the results/colors mean the same things. His dominate color is Yellow, which is the opposite of my Blue and did not match my more conscious Green either. Yellow is about energy, emotion and engagement. It’s the ‘fun’ color. His type’s name is the Motivator.
Things started to make sense (which is something a coordinator sensory type would say). The life I’ve lived for the last 15 years has required a lot of coordination and management. I felt my kids needed less emotion, more decisiveness and more dependability to feel secure. For eight years post- divorce, I was the sole home manager — lots of details and organization. Although it was stressful to me, I tried to stay on task, not let emotions overwhelm me and keep the family going forward. I developed some true Blue muscle.
In my new marriage, my husband is a Yellow, not a Blue. So I still find myself wearing the coordinator, planner, detailed, realistic, less fun person hat so our large blended family runs smoothly and does not devolve into chaos. I’ll admit, when it goes well I revel in the effectiveness. I also feel resentment when I perceive myself as handling the majority of the emotional labor and day to day family and home maintenance.
Mood affects results?
The day I took the Discovery inventory, I was mad. I felt I was carrying the lion’s share of responsibility around the house. It is possible my responses reflected that feeling, putting a higher value on practicality, accuracy and dependability.
So who is the real me? I believe I do put a high value on connection and caring (Green) and sometimes that leads me to ‘connect’ with my children by providing them with the security that comes with reliability, accuracy and getting all the information.
The instructor for the Discovery session said that it is common to find our partner is our exact opposite color. This is the case with Mark and me. I was attracted to his positive energy and ability to relax. I still am. We discussed our different results. He would like me to loosen up more. I understand. Perhaps if he takes on more of the details, I can relax and be more yellow.
It is not easy folks. Have your main personality traits evolved or stayed the same over the years? Do you and your partner have similar or opposite traits? How is that working for you?