Are You Motivated by Status or Growth?

By |2019-10-25T07:17:27-05:00October 25th, 2019|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Are you motivated by status or growth? This is the question I intend to discuss in this post. In my relationships and in my work, I've been motivated by many things. My first marriage included a huge rise in financial and lifestyle status. I was driven to obtain and maintain that status. Writing The Quiet Rise [...]

Dislocation and Addiction

By |2019-05-30T13:06:25-05:00May 31st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

The precursor to addiction is dislocation. — Bruce Alexander Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Simon Fraser University. In the quote above, dislocation is taken to mean the loss of psychological, social, and economic integration into family and culture — a sense of exclusion, isolation and powerlessness. In the much quoted book on addiction, "In the Realm [...]

Does Your Partner Accept Your Influence? The Importance of Sharing Decision-Making in a Relationship

By |2018-10-31T11:59:21-05:00November 2nd, 2018|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I recently figured out one of the striking blows that destroyed my marriage. During the last five years of our marriage, I did not feel like my words or actions were given any credence in conversations, problem-solving or decision-making. My husband did not accept my influence. I hope by casting light on this common issue, someone [...]

Walking on Eggshells: The Relationship Hazard of Being Too Careful

By |2018-05-08T12:19:28-05:00May 4th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Photo via Pixabay Do you and your partner never fight but never connect intimately either? Do you feel like you give and give but don't get much in return? Do you constantly worry about upsetting your partner? If you feel like it is extremely important to keep the peace at home, it is possible [...]

Love After Divorce : Knowing When to Commit Again

By |2018-04-05T10:40:22-05:00March 30th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Photo credit Sylvia Bartyzel via Unsplash I have been on my own since January of 2012. In those six plus years, I've experienced so much. I've dated, loved, dumped and been dumped. The whole time learning how to find a secure partner and how to be a good partner. The whole time experiencing in the [...]

How We Move from Insecure to Secure Relationships: 3 Stages

By |2018-01-09T18:57:36-06:00January 12th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Katherine Chase on Unsplash For those of us with attachment trauma or insecurity in our pasts, there is often a pattern we follow on our way to finding satisfying and secure relationships. If you don't remember what attachment trauma or an insecure relationship are, here are definitions. Secure attachment with a caregiver [...]

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THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo

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