I recently figured out one of the striking blows that destroyed my marriage. During the last five years of our marriage, I did not feel like my words or actions were given any credence in conversations, problem-solving or decision-making. My husband did not accept my influence. I hope by casting light on this common issue, someone [...]
...the theory explains how safety is not the removal of threat and that feeling safe is dependent on unique cues in the environment and our relationships that have an active inhibition on defense circuits and promote health and feelings of love and trust. — Dr. Stephen Porges speaking of the polyvagal theory I take the above quote to [...]
Tina Fey eye roll I learned about the direness of contempt years ago when my marriage was ending and I happened to read Malcolm Gladwell's noted book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. In the book, Gladwell speaks with Dr. John Gottman — marriage expert and scientist. Based on years of studying married [...]
Last week I wrote about gaining the trust of our children. This week I'm focusing on earning the trust of our partner. There are similarities between the two but as adults we have had more relationships shape us over the years, thus our brains are chock full of ingrained patterns and expectations. We also view our [...]
I ran across TV Producer, screenwriter and author, Shonda Rhimes' quote a few weeks ago. I instantly felt a kinship. Granted, she's producing and writing for shows like Grey's Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder and I'm typing away at my first book and doing some personal coaching... but we both feel that [...]
Doing fun things together isn't enough for me to feel connected. Being good-looking doesn't mean we'll have a meaningful relationship. Having a lot of money doesn't mean I'll want to grow with you. In the dating world, there's emphasis on who your partner is and what you'll do together. There's a smaller, almost non-existent, emphasis on what [...]
