Does Your Partner Accept Your Influence? The Importance of Sharing Decision-Making in a Relationship

By |2018-10-31T11:59:21-05:00November 2nd, 2018|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I recently figured out one of the striking blows that destroyed my marriage. During the last five years of our marriage, I did not feel like my words or actions were given any credence in conversations, problem-solving or decision-making. My husband did not accept my influence. I hope by casting light on this common issue, someone [...]

How to Avoid Contempt and Keep Your Relationship Safe

By |2018-09-19T14:04:03-05:00July 6th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Tina Fey eye roll I learned about the direness of contempt years ago when my marriage was ending and I happened to read Malcolm Gladwell's noted book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. In the book, Gladwell speaks with Dr. John Gottman — marriage expert and scientist. Based on years of studying married [...]

How to Earn Your Lover’s Trust and Improve the Relationship

By |2017-06-11T18:03:48-05:00June 9th, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

  Last week I wrote about gaining the trust of our children. This week I'm focusing on earning the trust of our partner. There are similarities between the two but as adults we have had more relationships shape us over the years, thus our brains are chock full of ingrained patterns and expectations. We also view our [...]

What TV Producer Shonda Rhimes and I Have in Common: Relationship Trade-Offs

By |2017-03-10T22:39:31-06:00March 10th, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

I ran across TV Producer, screenwriter and author, Shonda Rhimes' quote a few weeks ago. I instantly felt a kinship. Granted, she's producing and writing for shows like Grey's Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder and I'm typing away at my first book and doing some personal coaching... but we both feel that [...]

Beyond Fun, Sex and Coffee : Moving Past Dating and Mastering Mature Relationships

By |2016-08-17T14:51:27-05:00July 22nd, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Doing fun things together isn't enough for me to feel connected. Being good-looking doesn't mean we'll have a meaningful relationship. Having a lot of money doesn't mean I'll want to grow with you. In the dating world, there's emphasis on who your partner is and what you'll do together. There's a smaller, almost non-existent, emphasis on what [...]

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I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M

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