The uncertainty of Covid 19, the presidential election, racial tension and the economy has everyone looking for mental health support. Mental illness and stress greatly affect our relationships. Guest writer Luke Smith shows us how we can fortify them to withstand the ups and downs of turbulent times. I hope you enjoy it as much as [...]
I've been working on defining the difference between expressing my feelings and dumping criticism and aggravation on someone. Mostly, this happens in exchanges with my husband. Often I believe I am expressing my emotions (something I've read over and over is a healthy thing) and he feels like I am attacking him. I have not mastered [...]
What has happened since childhood, infancy even, is that a protective shield or pattern was subconsciously created to minimize the pain of feeling alone or of not being seen by a caregiver or partner.
One of the most useful things I've learned over the last few years is that it is better to aim for understanding versus winning when it comes to disagreements with the ones we love. For many years — including those competing with my sister for attention and respect and those competing with my ex-husband for most [...]
Some of us have been primed for high reactivity. Our early caregivers or past relationships did not provide consistent comforting and nurturing, so our nervous systems developed a sensitivity to possible abandonment. We tend to react strongly if we feel at all threatened. Sometimes these strong reactions lead to self-fulfilling prophesies. The more we react, the [...]
I recently figured out one of the striking blows that destroyed my marriage. During the last five years of our marriage, I did not feel like my words or actions were given any credence in conversations, problem-solving or decision-making. My husband did not accept my influence. I hope by casting light on this common issue, someone [...]
