Which Do You Really Need More, Alone Time or Community?

By |2019-12-13T21:10:34-06:00December 13th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I have had two radical belief changes in the last few years. One: I now believe our long term relationships shape our personality and temperament more than introverted or extroverted innate traits. Two: I used to believe I needed alone time to recharge and be at my best. I have recently seen and felt myself most [...]

Dislocation and Addiction

By |2019-05-30T13:06:25-05:00May 31st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

The precursor to addiction is dislocation. — Bruce Alexander Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Simon Fraser University. In the quote above, dislocation is taken to mean the loss of psychological, social, and economic integration into family and culture — a sense of exclusion, isolation and powerlessness. In the much quoted book on addiction, "In the Realm [...]

Why We Find More Happiness After Age 50: The Struggles of Our 40s and the Contentment of Our 50s

By |2019-03-15T15:09:45-05:00March 15th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I turn 49 tomorrow. According to author Jonathon Rauch (The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50), I'm at the bottom of the happiness curve, but things will be on the upswing very soon. He says our 40s are the bottom of the joy trough. Our values change in our 50s to create upward momentum. [...]

Six Ways to Equanimity

By |2017-12-02T12:01:46-06:00December 1st, 2017|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo credit Leio Mclaren of Unsplash In last week's post, I promised to tell you how I reached my current state of equanimity. First, I would like to give you a working definition of equanimity. Here is Wikipedia's version: Equanimity (Latin: æquanimitas having an even mind; aequus even animus mind/soul) is a state of [...]

Parents Need Love as Much as Their Children Do

By |2017-06-14T10:33:30-05:00June 16th, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

So much of parenting is giving — time, attention, patience, food, guidance, love — incoming emotional sustenance is indispensable for balance. ...Parents need each other for support and replenishment.  — Thomas Lewis, MD, Fari Amini, MD, Richard Lannon, MD, A General Theory of Love So much of our emotional well-being depends on the amount of reassurance and [...]

Are Grief and Pain Piling Up? : The Problem with Worshipping Independence

By |2016-11-02T15:08:33-05:00November 4th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

In deference to The Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos, Nov. 1st), a Mexican national holiday, we had a day of remembrance at church. We were asked to bring a photo of a loved one (including a pet if you wanted) who had passed on and put it on the altar. I brought a favorite [...]

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THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
J.K.
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.

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