Dislocation and Addiction

By |2019-05-30T13:06:25-05:00May 31st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

The precursor to addiction is dislocation. — Bruce Alexander Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Simon Fraser University. In the quote above, dislocation is taken to mean the loss of psychological, social, and economic integration into family and culture — a sense of exclusion, isolation and powerlessness. In the much quoted book on addiction, "In the Realm [...]

Why We Find More Happiness After Age 50: The Struggles of Our 40s and the Contentment of Our 50s

By |2019-03-15T15:09:45-05:00March 15th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I turn 49 tomorrow. According to author Jonathon Rauch (The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50), I'm at the bottom of the happiness curve, but things will be on the upswing very soon. He says our 40s are the bottom of the joy trough. Our values change in our 50s to create upward momentum. [...]

Six Ways to Equanimity

By |2017-12-02T12:01:46-05:00December 1st, 2017|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo credit Leio Mclaren of Unsplash In last week's post, I promised to tell you how I reached my current state of equanimity. First, I would like to give you a working definition of equanimity. Here is Wikipedia's version: Equanimity (Latin: æquanimitas having an even mind; aequus even animus mind/soul) is a state of [...]

Parents Need Love as Much as Their Children Do

By |2017-06-14T10:33:30-05:00June 16th, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

So much of parenting is giving — time, attention, patience, food, guidance, love — incoming emotional sustenance is indispensable for balance. ...Parents need each other for support and replenishment.  — Thomas Lewis, MD, Fari Amini, MD, Richard Lannon, MD, A General Theory of Love So much of our emotional well-being depends on the amount of reassurance and [...]

Are Grief and Pain Piling Up? : The Problem with Worshipping Independence

By |2016-11-02T15:08:33-05:00November 4th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

In deference to The Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos, Nov. 1st), a Mexican national holiday, we had a day of remembrance at church. We were asked to bring a photo of a loved one (including a pet if you wanted) who had passed on and put it on the altar. I brought a favorite [...]

Does Your Mate or Your Community Fulfill Your Emotional Needs?

By |2016-10-05T10:52:21-05:00September 30th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

What is different is that modern life has depleted us of our traditional resources, and has created a situation where we turn to one person for the protection and emotional connections that a multitude of social networks used to provide. Adult intimacies have become overburdened with expectations.  —Esther Perel, Future of Couples: Is the Institution of [...]

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During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
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“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

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You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
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I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
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Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
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