Which Do You Really Need More, Alone Time or Community?

By |2021-08-23T13:19:45-05:00December 13th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I have had two radical belief changes in the last few years. One: I now believe our long term relationships shape our personality and temperament more than introverted or extroverted innate traits. Two: I used to believe I needed alone time to recharge and be at my best. I have recently seen and felt myself most [...]

Creating Growth to Feel Alive: How to Grow in Relationships and In Life:

By |2019-11-13T16:58:10-06:00November 15th, 2019|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I listened to author and psycho therapist, Esther Perel, talk about affairs on a podcast the other day. She said in affairs people don't turn away from their partners they turn away from who they (themselves) have become. Esther Perel Esther Perel said when people cheat on their partners, they often say, "I feel so [...]

Does Your Mate or Your Community Fulfill Your Emotional Needs?

By |2016-10-05T10:52:21-05:00September 30th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

What is different is that modern life has depleted us of our traditional resources, and has created a situation where we turn to one person for the protection and emotional connections that a multitude of social networks used to provide. Adult intimacies have become overburdened with expectations.  —Esther Perel, Future of Couples: Is the Institution of [...]

Please Don't Watch, Observe or Scrutinize Me:Too Much Attention Makes This Introvert Nervous

By |2015-09-22T16:06:00-05:00March 6th, 2015|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

Cooking with your mate can be a loving and sensual experience. My guy and I usually sizzle in the kitchen but one time our interactions were a little burned and crispy. One sunny morning, I tried a new recipe involving poached eggs and smashed avocado on toast. I decided to go the simple route by foregoing the egg-poaching pan and [...]

Are You Tired of Your Partner or Tired of You? Looking for a New Relationship or Looking for a New Self?

By |2015-09-22T16:06:01-05:00February 6th, 2015|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

  Very often we don’t go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn’t so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become. — Author of Mating in Captivity and couples [...]

It Takes a Village, Even for Introverts: Diffusing the Pressure of Being Everything to Your Mate

By |2015-09-22T16:06:02-05:00January 30th, 2015|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

  We sit around the wooden kitchen table laughing our asses off. The Happy Birthday banner hangs over the window. The smell of homemade chicken soup lingers in the air. There are seven of us gathered for this casual party. We play Cards Against Humanity and find out just how sick and lewd we truly are. [...]

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I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best… Read more
Sharon
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un… Read more
Gary
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t… Read more
Evan H.

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would… Read more

Mom M
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i… Read more
Niko
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan

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