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This year has been a big growth year. Boy is growth is uncomfortable. From health issues to financial stress to a new marriage and blending families, this year tested me. I did not always pass. I experienced many strong and negative emotions that I had not felt in a long time. That's what long-term relationships do. [...]
I have had two radical belief changes in the last few years. One: I now believe our long term relationships shape our personality and temperament more than introverted or extroverted innate traits. Two: I used to believe I needed alone time to recharge and be at my best. I have recently seen and felt myself most [...]
I have never run a marathon but I have hosted many Thanksgiving dinners. Yesterday was the biggest Thanksgiving dinner I've ever hosted, 24 people. Like a marathon, T-day prep starts way before the actual day. The invites go out weeks in advance. The food purchases start the week before. The smaller details like [...]
I recently listened to an interview with comedian actor Will Ferrell on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm a fan of this podcast. Will Ferrell talked about how he grew up in a divorced household. His parents split up when he was eight. Will was quite the athlete as a [...]
It all came to a head this morning when I noticed Mark had put two more bottles of shampoo and facial cleanser on our bathroom shelf. Space on this shelf is limited. There really is not room for all of the bottles on there now. I had an instant reaction of anger. I felt like my [...]
“Of all the environments, the one that most profoundly shapes the human personality is the invisible one: the emotional atmosphere in which the child lives during the critical early years of brain development. The invisible environment has little to do with parenting philosophies or parenting style. It is a matter of intangibles, foremost among them being [...]
What has happened since childhood, infancy even, is that a protective shield or pattern was subconsciously created to minimize the pain of feeling alone or of not being seen by a caregiver or partner.
I recently read In the Realm of "Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction" by Dr. Gabor Mate´. I've found Dr. Maté's philosophies and experience regarding addiction and its origins fascinating. Essentially he says pain is the fuel of all addiction. We use substances and behavior to self-soothe. He does not believe it is primarily genetic. He [...]
