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Are Perfection-Seeking and Self-Reliance Holding You Back from Love? The Avoidant Attachment Style’s MO

By |2019-08-25T15:58:28-05:00October 7th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Since childhood, I've learned to self-soothe and be self-reliant. My parents were/are great, loving parents. I always knew they were there for me if I really needed them. There was a lot of fun, conversation and adventure in our home. They both had personalities that fostered independence in their children. My dad is entrepreneurial, curious and hardworking. [...]

Introvert Relationships: Avoidant Attachment Style and Introversion

By |2017-02-03T10:45:45-06:00April 15th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

A few years ago while engaging in the online dating scene, one intriguing man —a big guy with a blue-collar job and an intellectual mind— brought the term avoidant attachment style to my attention. He and I had one or two dates and several emails filled with interesting and meaningful conversation. We both were huge readers fascinated by personal [...]

New Focus at Brendaknowles.com: Coaching Over Writing

By |2021-03-18T16:17:33-05:00March 19th, 2021|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

February 16th marked the ten year anniversary of the blog, space2live. As with any milestone, it made me reflect. When I started space2live I was a harried, married, stay-at-home mom, who desperately needed to connect with herself and others. I like to think I am much cooler headed now. I'm still married, but to a different [...]

The Difference Between Neediness and Needing

By |2021-02-02T16:09:51-06:00January 29th, 2021|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

She is commonly afraid of needing too much and then being rejected, judged or abandoned. Rejection, judgment, and abandonment are most painful because deep inside her unconscious she holds the incorrect belief that she is unworthy of receiving more. This belief was formed and reinforced in childhood every time she had to suppress her feelings, needs [...]

What Emotional Sensitivity Looks Like

By |2020-10-22T16:08:28-05:00October 23rd, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

  My sensitivity is more emotional than physical. Unfamiliar or disagreeable sounds, tastes and textures do not generally ruin my day. My husband may beg to differ. I do like it pitch dark and silent at night for sleeping, but my waking hours are not plagued by discomfort or high sensitivity to physical items. I used [...]

Did Your Family Teach You How to Stay Busy and Struggle?

By |2020-06-19T11:11:46-05:00June 19th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

  We grow up in households that are busy or struggling, and somehow not quite nurturing enough. From this we learn everything about how to stay busy and struggle, but little about how to nurture ourselves.    — Dr. Jonice Webb, 4 Ways You May be Keeping Yourself Running on Empty Dr. Webb's quote resonated with [...]

Personality Based on Time, Experience and Context

By |2020-04-08T14:21:19-05:00April 10th, 2020|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Instead of asking whether someone is gritty, we should ask them when they are.   — David Epstein, Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World I'm trained as a Myers Briggs practitioner. That means I know how to administer and interpret the Myers Briggs personality inventory. I know the sixteen type preferences and I know the history [...]

Loss of Autonomy: How One of Our Greatest Fears Affects Relationships

By |2020-03-06T16:10:48-06:00March 6th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

The things we fear losing the most: autonomy, identity and a positive future. If you can help someone maintain their autonomy, identity and future, they will feel safer and more willing to collaborate.

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Testimonials

During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t… Read more
Evan H.
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would… Read more

Mom M
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un… Read more
Gary

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