Need a new search?

If you didn't find what you were looking for, try a new search!

This Is Not What I Expected but That’s OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories

By |2020-01-01T19:39:00-06:00January 18th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Things are getting a bit chaotic and stressful with all the planning and changes taking place for our wedding this summer. My nervous system has been on overdrive as I struggle to process all the details. As it is my second marriage and there are children involved, it is complicated. My highly sensitive system is on [...]

Feeling Overwhelmed or Disappointed by the Holidays? How to Handle Your Insecure Attachment This Time of Year

By |2018-12-14T12:55:06-06:00December 14th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I dream of fun family gatherings, the magic of Christmas morning, twinkly lights, creating fond memories, feelings of love and appreciation... All of that seems entirely possible as fall winds down and Thanksgiving approaches.  Feeling used Then I put a lot of effort into a full-out [...]

What the Heck Does Secure Attachment Look Like?

By |2019-09-29T16:07:28-05:00September 27th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I've talked at great length about what insecure attachment in relationships looks like. Check out these posts if you need a reminder: This Is Not What I Expected, but That's OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories Creating Relationship Security When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather [...]

Roommate Issues, Defensiveness and Attachment Wounds

By |2019-06-23T10:28:47-05:00June 21st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Since our home has recently added three new people (my fiancé and his two sons) and a cat, lifestyle habits and roommate issues are top of mind. One of my clients mentioned feeling challenged with her roommate as well. I know from countless podcasts and relationship books that little issues like, "Why didn't you pick up [...]

5 Most Popular Posts of 2018: Relationships, Why We Act Introverted and the Avoidant Attachment Style

By |2018-12-28T14:35:27-06:00December 28th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Wow! I can't believe we are at the end of 2018. I like to look back at the top posts — determined by highest average number of views — on brendaknowles.com for the year. It is a nice way for me to see what I learned in the last 12 months and what you, the reader, [...]

Creating Relationship Security When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style

By |2019-08-25T15:52:09-05:00September 28th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

When we have a secure attachment style we have a basic trust in others and we are able to set good boundaries for ourselves. We believe our partners are there for us and we do not have a problem being there for them. Avoidant attachment Some of us grew up with shaky attachments to our parents [...]

Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather Than Away

By |2018-12-13T10:43:06-06:00June 22nd, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash Our basic attachment styles form during childhood. I've written about attachment styles in several articles on brendaknowles.com's blog, space2live, but I'll summarize the different styles to refresh your memory. The most ideal style is secure. A secure attachment arises when we know we can count on our primary [...]

How We Move from Insecure to Secure Relationships: 3 Stages

By |2018-01-09T18:57:36-06:00January 12th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Katherine Chase on Unsplash For those of us with attachment trauma or insecurity in our pasts, there is often a pattern we follow on our way to finding satisfying and secure relationships. If you don't remember what attachment trauma or an insecure relationship are, here are definitions. Secure attachment with a caregiver [...]

Stay connected

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts.

Testimonials

During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary

Join us on Facebook