Are you motivated by status or growth? This is the question I intend to discuss in this post. In my relationships and in my work, I've been motivated by many things. My first marriage included a huge rise in financial and lifestyle status. I was driven to obtain and maintain that status. Writing The Quiet Rise [...]
How are you at asking for help? Does it come easy to you? Do you trust you will be assisted? Does it make you feel anxious? Do you try to avoid it? I have discovered that asking for help sets off a cascade of emotions and defenses for me. When Mark and I first started dating, [...]
I've talked at great length about what insecure attachment in relationships looks like. Check out these posts if you need a reminder: This Is Not What I Expected, but That's OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories Creating Relationship Security When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather [...]
When we struggle, we make adaptations to our personalities and our behavior to get through the discomfort. I've previously written about coping strategies. They generally develop because we need more attention or less pain from our primary caregivers and family members. We may learn to be a people-pleaser or extra nice so as not to upset [...]
I've been working on defining the difference between expressing my feelings and dumping criticism and aggravation on someone. Mostly, this happens in exchanges with my husband. Often I believe I am expressing my emotions (something I've read over and over is a healthy thing) and he feels like I am attacking him. I have not mastered [...]
I recently listened to an interview with comedian actor Will Ferrell on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm a fan of this podcast. Will Ferrell talked about how he grew up in a divorced household. His parents split up when he was eight. Will was quite the athlete as a [...]
