The other night in my writing group we wrote about the best gift or gifts we had ever received. I am fortunate. I had three different gifts come to mind. One was a Snow White miniature kitchen I found under the Christmas tree when I was five years old. I can't remember if the kitchen was [...]
Have you ever felt taken for granted by a partner? Perhaps, it seemed like they only noticed you if you did something for them, or worse, they didn't notice you at all even when you fulfilled all of your duties. I've been there and I definitely did not like the feeling of being used. It felt like [...]
As we plunge into the holiday season, I thought it would be a good time to take inventory of our go-to behaviors for relieving stress. Internal resources According to Julie M. Simon, LMFT and author of When Food Is Comfort, if we grew up with encouraging nurturing caregivers, we acquire capabilities such as personal competencies and [...]
Some of us have been primed for high reactivity. Our early caregivers or past relationships did not provide consistent comforting and nurturing, so our nervous systems developed a sensitivity to possible abandonment. We tend to react strongly if we feel at all threatened. Sometimes these strong reactions lead to self-fulfilling prophesies. The more we react, the [...]
When we have a secure attachment style we have a basic trust in others and we are able to set good boundaries for ourselves. We believe our partners are there for us and we do not have a problem being there for them. Avoidant attachment Some of us grew up with shaky attachments to our parents [...]
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash During a three-hour car ride, Mark (fiancé) told me he accepts me for who I am. He doesn't ever try to change me. I agree with both statements. I always feel loved by him. He also said he feels I don't always accept him. I sometimes want him [...]
