Relational paradox: When convinced a relationship won't tolerate who you really are, you leave a part of you out of that relationship. When I read the description of a relational paradox in Dr. Amy Banks' book, Wired for Connection:The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships, a lightbulb went on in my head. The [...]
Since childhood, I've learned to self-soothe and be self-reliant. My parents were/are great, loving parents. I always knew they were there for me if I really needed them. There was a lot of fun, conversation and adventure in our home. They both had personalities that fostered independence in their children. My dad is entrepreneurial, curious and hardworking. [...]
What is different is that modern life has depleted us of our traditional resources, and has created a situation where we turn to one person for the protection and emotional connections that a multitude of social networks used to provide. Adult intimacies have become overburdened with expectations. —Esther Perel, Future of Couples: Is the Institution of [...]
How do you know when a relationship has long-term loving potential? Since my last relationship ended, I took time off to figure out what went wrong, then dated casually, then dated a little less casually. I haven't committed to anything serious... At this point, I am hyper-sensitive to potential pitfalls in a serious relationship. My brain and [...]
After my marriage ended, I swore I would never stuff down my emotions and act like everything was OK or remain silent about what I needed from a partner. I was going to be open and communicate effectively. I had no idea how hard it is to know what you want and articulate it. I had no [...]
We each got out of the car on our respective sides. I stood up, looked into the sky and noticed the widest most spectacular rainbow arching over the restaurant. I burst out, "Oh wow look at the rainbow!" as I pointed. He looked up, smiled, looked at me and nodded. It was fun sharing that [...]
