This week, I learned my number one need in a relationship. I think many of you will relate. At the end of the day, after running around trying to get everyone's physical and emotional needs met, after the work, after the stress, after reconciling the good and the bad news, after establishing and maintaining boundaries, after [...]
A few years ago while engaging in the online dating scene, one intriguing man —a big guy with a blue-collar job and an intellectual mind— brought the term avoidant attachment style to my attention. He and I had one or two dates and several emails filled with interesting and meaningful conversation. We both were huge readers fascinated by personal [...]
I recently realized that one-on-one time with my significant other is as vital as time to myself. I need and crave both. They are on equal footing. I used to worry about asking a partner for alone time — so many still don't understand that need for quiet internal recharging. But now I see that I also have [...]
You're driving me crazy. When are you coming home? ~ Laid, by James I always loved the above lyric. It tickled me how the singer was so tired of his girlfriend's constant presence but in the end wanted to make sure he'd see her later. Something about that spoke to me. I often find myself needing [...]
My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude. — Warsan Shire The delicious experiencing of our thoughts is so nourishing it is hard to leave that space. Lovers may entice, cajole, and whimper but still we are drawn to the space of solitude. The space where we are content and [...]
When was the first time you made love? The last time? I was in my 40s before I really made love. What took me so long? Why didn't I experience that heavenly closeness and soulmate sanctity before my fourth decade? Because making love involves emotional AND physical intimacy. I never truly felt safe or in love [...]
