The Difference Between Safe and Comfortable

By |2020-10-14T12:21:31-05:00October 16th, 2020|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

My friend, Kimber, said it is better to make a partner or child feel safe than make them feel comfortable. "What is the difference?" I asked. She said, "If someone feels safe, they can be vulnerable. If we strive to only make them comfortable, they never have to be vulnerable."

Two Quick Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Seen and Respected

By |2018-11-30T16:08:21-06:00November 30th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Have you ever felt taken for granted by a partner? Perhaps, it seemed like they only noticed you if you did something for them, or worse, they didn't notice you at all even when you fulfilled all of your duties. I've been there and I definitely did not like the feeling of being used. It felt like [...]

The Addiction Behind Criticism and Blame: How to Escape the Cycle

By |2021-12-27T12:56:02-06:00April 20th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo via Pixabay Most relationships move into a more sedate, post-honeymoon phase. After the good bonding, falling-in-love chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin) dissipate and we perceive permanence in our relationship, we subconsciously start to miss the arousal and excitement of newness and chemicals. We can make healthy choices and work on ways to keep our relationship [...]

How to Respond to Negativity and Build Connection

By |2018-09-10T10:28:57-05:00March 2nd, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Igor Rand on Unsplash The other night my daughter face-timed me from her dad's house. The first thing she asked was if she had any appointments after school this week. I said, "Yes, you have a doctor's appointment after school on Monday". She immediately got mad and told me how much homework [...]

Repairing Ruptures in Your Connections with Family, Partners and Yourself

By |2017-11-17T13:44:35-06:00November 17th, 2017|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

photo credit Ib Wira Dyatmika Every relationship has times of disconnection. These times are not concerning unless 1. They are constant and highly stressful or 2. There are no repairs made. In fact, relationships where there are ruptures in connection but consistent and quick repairs, tend to have the most resilience. Disruptions in therapy or [...]

Finding and Losing Emotional Connection Again and Again

By |2017-07-11T15:40:35-05:00July 14th, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

  "...love is a continual process of seeking and losing emotional connection, and reaching out to find it again. The bond of love is a living thing. If we don't attend to it, it naturally begins to wither." — Dr. Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight In our world of endless distractions and to do lists, it is [...]

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That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un… Read more
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This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best… Read more
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your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need … Read more
D.R.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
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