What has happened since childhood, infancy even, is that a protective shield or pattern was subconsciously created to minimize the pain of feeling alone or of not being seen by a caregiver or partner.
Wow! I can't believe we are at the end of 2018. I like to look back at the top posts — determined by highest average number of views — on brendaknowles.com for the year. It is a nice way for me to see what I learned in the last 12 months and what you, the reader, [...]
When we have a secure attachment style we have a basic trust in others and we are able to set good boundaries for ourselves. We believe our partners are there for us and we do not have a problem being there for them. Avoidant attachment Some of us grew up with shaky attachments to our parents [...]
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash People with an avoidant attachment style grew up with caregivers who devalued or avoided emotional and physical closeness. Dependency was denied, leaving the child to figure out ways to self-soothe and regulate their own emotions. When the child reached out for closeness, they were met with disappointment or [...]
Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash What if we didn't take every darn thing in life so seriously? What if we did not analyze every word and nuance? What if, God forbid, we were not mindful every second of the day? As a person who defaults to living the well-examined life, sometimes I wonder [...]
