Is It Difficult for You to Show Emotions and Connect? The Trouble with Over Controlling Our Reactions

By |2018-10-28T12:45:33-05:00September 22nd, 2017|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I've written a lot about the overwhelming emotions of the highly sensitive and empathetic. I've talked about crying in the bathroom at work and suffering from emotional exhaustion. Most of the time, emotions are just below the surface or spilling out all over the place for this introvert, but some people keep their emotions totally under [...]

Feel to Heal: Activating Our Safety System

By |2017-12-01T11:54:48-06:00September 8th, 2017|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

My therapist said something that stuck with me. She said we need felt experiences that change how we felt before. We need such experiences to heal and grow. She said words will not do it. They touch only on an intellectual level. Intellectual is just the surface. Our core needs for nurturing, growth and connection run way [...]

Knowing When It’s Time to See a Therapist

By |2018-09-22T16:33:22-05:00June 23rd, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I did it. I had my first personal therapy session this week. I've done marriage counseling. I've done group therapy with my writing friends. But prior to this, I've never done therapy just for me. I thought I could heal myself or get support from friends, family or a partner. Yes, the personal and relationship coach, [...]

Do You Play Small to Avoid Scrutiny or Shame?

By |2017-05-10T17:47:43-05:00May 12th, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Last December I was in a play. It was presented at my church, where the people are kind and compassionate and it's OK to not be perfect. I felt very comfortable joining in the production. There were no auditions and my daughter was in the cast too. The playwright/director of the show is well-known in the [...]

Am I Really an Introvert? Balancing Nature with Nurture and Finding Contentment

By |2017-04-02T19:46:05-05:00March 31st, 2017|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I've questioned my introvert status for the last year. I've done a lot of research on attachment styles and their influence on our behavior and emotions lately. It was starting to look like my need for space and solitude was more a result of my early relationships with my parents and my later relationships with partners. A month [...]

Worried About Being ‘Too Much’ in a Relationship: High Sensitivity and the Relational Paradox

By |2016-10-23T20:11:17-05:00October 21st, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Relational paradox: When convinced a relationship won't tolerate who you really are, you leave a part of you out of that relationship. When I read the description of a relational paradox in Dr. Amy Banks' book, Wired for Connection:The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships, a lightbulb went on in my head. The [...]

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BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
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You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
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Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
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That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un… Read more
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I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
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Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best… Read more
Sharon
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i… Read more
Niko
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t… Read more
Evan H.

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would… Read more

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