Stories for and about those who recharge in solitude and feel life deeply.

Avoiding or Approaching: Do You Strive to Escape or Connect?

By |2019-11-01T07:25:39-05:00November 1st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Often the easy way out is to avoid something hard. We all have moments of weakness when we opt for  that path. We also have moments of courage when we move toward a difficult situation or conversation. In my experiences of parenting, marriage, coaching, writing, working within the juvenile justice system and as a special education [...]

Are You Motivated by Status or Growth?

By |2019-10-25T07:17:27-05:00October 25th, 2019|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Are you motivated by status or growth? This is the question I intend to discuss in this post. In my relationships and in my work, I've been motivated by many things. My first marriage included a huge rise in financial and lifestyle status. I was driven to obtain and maintain that status. Writing The Quiet Rise [...]

What You Need to Reverse Childhood Adversity

By |2019-10-18T16:49:36-05:00October 18th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

A landmark longitudinal study done in San Diego by Drs. Vincent Felitti and Dr. Robert Anda and colleagues, links adverse childhood experiences (ACES) with increased risk for heart disease, addiction, cancer and auto-immune diseases, to name a few. The book, The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity came across my radar twice in the [...]

One Way to Tell If Our Behavior Is a Problem

By |2019-10-09T16:43:29-05:00October 11th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Some of you may have noticed. My posts are a tad shorter lately. I am working every day at the local high school as a paraprofessional. As you can imagine, my after school time is now devoted to errands, tasks and social obligations I did not get to do during the workday. My intention is to [...]

Why Asking for Help Is So Hard: The Difficulty with Dependence in Relationships

By |2019-10-01T17:15:28-05:00October 4th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

How are you at asking for help? Does it come easy to you? Do you trust you will be assisted? Does it make you feel anxious? Do you try to avoid it? I have discovered that asking for help sets off a cascade of emotions and defenses for me. When Mark and I first started dating, [...]

What the Heck Does Secure Attachment Look Like?

By |2019-09-29T16:07:28-05:00September 27th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I've talked at great length about what insecure attachment in relationships looks like. Check out these posts if you need a reminder: This Is Not What I Expected, but That's OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories Creating Relationship Security When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather [...]

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“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would… Read more

Mom M
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t… Read more
Evan H.
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need … Read more
D.R.
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring… Read more
J.K.
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman

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