Stories for and about those who recharge in solitude and feel life deeply.

Self-Soothing and Not Giving a F*ck : Managing Your Own Anxiety Within a Relationship

By |2019-10-01T16:09:53-05:00March 13th, 2015|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I had an epiphany the other day. If I don't need the kids or my partner to validate me or help with my worries, then we can all relax. If I can manage my own emotions and self-soothe, then we are all free. If I can stabilize myself, center myself, then it won't bother me if [...]

Please Don't Watch, Observe or Scrutinize Me:Too Much Attention Makes This Introvert Nervous

By |2015-09-22T16:06:00-05:00March 6th, 2015|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

Cooking with your mate can be a loving and sensual experience. My guy and I usually sizzle in the kitchen but one time our interactions were a little burned and crispy. One sunny morning, I tried a new recipe involving poached eggs and smashed avocado on toast. I decided to go the simple route by foregoing the egg-poaching pan and [...]

Do Your Friends and Family Think It’s Weird to Be an Introvert? Getting Past the Stereotype and Doing Work You Love

By |2015-10-26T08:21:24-05:00February 27th, 2015|Categories: Guest Posts, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

I've had to stick up for my temperament and my writing many times. It never seems to get easier. I still feel I'm saying the words 'awkward' or 'weird' when I say I'm an introvert. I still hesitate to say I'm a writer when asked what I do as a career. Both words seem to need justification, validation [...]

What’s Your Temperament? An Introverted Idealist Talks Soul Mates

By |2015-10-21T14:25:10-05:00February 20th, 2015|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Tyler approached me after my Myers Briggs presentation in his high school classroom.  A tall young African-American man with long limbs and a wide smile, he'd asked engaging questions and made validating eye contact with me during my speech. There were a couple of other head- nodders and eye-contact holders in the class (Thank God for them!) but [...]

How to Handle the Fluctuations in Emotional Security and Closeness Within a Relationship

By |2015-10-21T14:18:49-05:00February 13th, 2015|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

There is an ebb and flow of closeness in relationships. The amount of emotional connection and distance fluctuates. I first noticed this with a crush I had on someone  years ago. I remember feeling anxious when our normally quite deep and personal conversations changed for a week or two into more casual surface interactions. There was always [...]

Are You Tired of Your Partner or Tired of You? Looking for a New Relationship or Looking for a New Self?

By |2015-09-22T16:06:01-05:00February 6th, 2015|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

  Very often we don’t go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn’t so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become. — Author of Mating in Captivity and couples [...]

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Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need … Read more
D.R.
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i… Read more
Niko
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman

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