2017 stick figure girl

As 2017 closes out, I want to thank you all for joining me on space2live for another year. It’s been an exciting year for me. I’ve enjoyed writing my book and doing research on such topics as attachment styles and social anxiety. I hope you have enjoyed the topics as well.

Are there any subjects I wrote about on the blog space2live that you would like to see more of in 2018? I’d greatly appreciate it if you could take a minute to reflect on what you’ve liked on brendaknowles.com and what you didn’t.

I have found myself writing less on introversion and more on how relationships affect our way of being. I still have a deep interest in temperament but feel our behavior is shaped just as much by the relationships we experience.

I see my future focus as introversion within relationships.

I hope you like the following top 5 list and the accompanying quote from each piece. These posts garnered the most views of the new posts of 2017.

Top 5 New Posts of 2017

  1. Two Rituals that Calm Your Nervous System and Strengthen Your Relationship: “How you disconnect and reconnect during the day affects your relationship. Warm rituals solidify the security of your relationship. Dr. Stan Tatkin says we need to re-attune to our partner after they’ve been away.”
  2. Emotional Engagement: Are You Starving For It?: “Often we mask our need for emotional closeness to avoid being hurt. In conflict, we blame other things like money issues, not enough sex, someone’s tardiness or a lack of organization, but when it comes down to it, most things are a mask for our feelings of loneliness or disconnection.”
  3. Healing Emotional Neglect in the Age of Conditional Love: “Children who did not receive … nurturing skills, grow up emotionally challenged. As adults, they may look “normal” and even successful on the outside, but inside there is an emptiness. As adults, they may have a hard time being dependent on others (counter-dependence) and fight consistently to maintain a level of independence (avoidant attachment theory, yes?). They may have a harsh inner critic but lots of compassion for others. They may have poor self-discipline and a poor awareness and understanding of emotions.”
  4. Isolation: What Causes It and What Are the Effects?: “Our neurological pathways form based on positive and negative interactions we experience. If we feel safe and secure within a relationship (lots of responsiveness, reassuring and consistency), we trust people and feel confident about interacting. If we have experienced rejection, unavailability and inconsistency too often, we tend to withdraw or become extremely self-reliant.”
  5. Overcoming the Fears that Arise at Relationship Milestones: “I recognize the fears and threats I create regarding my relationships. I notice how they arrive at key turning points. After five years of dating post-divorce, I have gained a bit of self and relationship awareness. There is still a mountain of wisdom to be learned, but at this point I see my self-sabotaging tactics and am beginning to understand how to defuse them.”

May your new year be calm, loving and joyful. Can’t wait to connect with you in 2018! 

Warmly,

 

 

 

 

If you want to dig into improving your relationship in 2018, please contact me for coaching. We’ll de-escalate conflict and build intimacy for you and your partner. 

 

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