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For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms

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Best Reads of 2018: My Book Recommendations for the Year


I’ve discovered I like to accumulate points or create a streak when I want to instill a habit into my life. That motivates me. My meditation app on my phone,, gives me a gold star for every ten days of meditation I do. I like to see the days add up. You get a green star for 150 days in a row. I have one of those. I want more.

For the last two years I’ve set a reading goal for myself. has a Reading Challenge that originally inspired this goal. I aim to read 25 books each year. I type in the title, author and my smiley face review (one to four smiley faces possible with a bonus heart emoji if it’s extra wonderful) in my phone’s notes for each book I read. Again, I like to see the number of books accumulate over the year. Last year I only fit in 20. This year I’m on pace to finish at least 24, maybe 25 if I squeeze in a really short one before January 1st.

I am going to share what I consider the best of the books I read this year. They received at least four smiley faces from me. Obviously, everyone’s taste in books is unique. Take my recommendations with a grain of salt. I’d love to hear if you have read any of the books I mention and if so, what your opinion is of them.

Probably not a big surprise that the majority of books I loved are non-fiction, personal development types. Here they are:

Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children by Dr. Jonice Webb: This is a follow up to Dr. Webb’s book, Running On Empty, which I loved! Running on Empty No More talks about dealing with childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and how it affects your adult relationships. If you’ve ever felt an empty sadness that you can’t explain, these books might help.

The Values Factor; The Secret to Creating an Inspired and Fulfilling Life by Dr. John Demartini: Key points I remember from this book are that all relationships include support and challenge and we can’t expect all pleasure with no pain. Our voids lead to our values was another great nugget of wisdom. Dr. Demartini helps you figure out what your values are in this book.

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by Dr. Sue Johnson: Relationships heal and Dr. Johnson uses the latest medical technology and studies to prove it. A great book for couples. Dr. Johnson gives examples of common conflict patterns couples exhibit and how to work through them. She gives a big nod to neuroscience and rewiring neural pathways by soothing each other.

The Blessing of a B Minus by Dr. Wendy Mogel: The gist of this one is that we need to get back to basics with our kids. Have them do menial tasks around the house. Let them feel the sting of a B- on their report card. Dr. Mogel said school homework teaches delayed gratification and persistence more than it teaches the subject at hand. It gave me a sense of relief about child rearing.

Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression — And the Unexpected Solutions by Johann Hari. This book lists and describes in great length the causes and solutions for depression. It does not focus on genetics or chemical imbalances, although they are mentioned. It talks about feeling disconnected from people, from meaningful work, from status and respect, from nature, etc. as the reasons for feeling down. This all made sense to me.

**When Food Is Comfort: Nurture Yourself Mindfully, Rewire Your Brain and End Emotional Eating by Julie Simon. Although this book appears to be for people with food issues, it is helpful to anyone who has emotional voids to fill. It explains why you feel empty and how to fill yourself up in healthy and mature ways. It talks about nurturing yourself and how to connect with others to receive nurturing from them. This was my favorite non-fiction book this year. I learned the most from it. 

Self-Consciousness Memoirs by John Updike: This book sat on my shelf for a long time, but I’m glad I finally took the time to read it. I learned all about the Rabbit, Run and Witches of Eastwick author. His east coast upbringing, Harvard education and severe eczema stand out to me. His personal stories were surprisingly relatable and I felt like I learned about life in the 50s and 60s. His writing was sometimes humorous and often very human.

Now for a couple of fiction recommendations:

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon: A friend of mine bought me the first three books in this series. I had not read much in the fantasy genre, but I loved this first book and have already read the second one. It is historical fiction mixed with time traveling; both in service to the underlying love story. Set in England after WWII and in Scotland in the 1700s, I learned about both places during different eras. Thoroughly enjoyable. It’s a television series now too, on Starz.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman: I cheered for the main character in this book. She starts out unlikable but as her back story became clear, my heart ached for her. I felt happy when good things happened to her. I cried and laughed reading this. It is a quick read with a twist in the end.


I hope you find my reading list entertaining. Please let me know if you have read any of them. We can compare notes. 🙂 Enjoy!


Happy holidays to all of you! May you have warmth, love and joy around you and in your heart this holiday season!


If you’re still shopping, pick up a copy of my book The Quiet Rise of Introverts. It makes a special holiday gift. 🙂 Click the image below to purchase. Thank you!!


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