This year has been a big growth year. Boy is growth is uncomfortable. From health issues to financial stress to a new marriage and blending families, this year tested me. I did not always pass. I experienced many strong and negative emotions that I had not felt in a long time. That’s what long-term relationships do. That’s what constant change does. Truthfully, I still feel like I am being stretched but I have hope that 2020 unfolds in a more settled and calm manner. There will be challenges. I am not naive. If we are not growing, we are dead. I choose life and growth.
The top new posts of 2019 reflect the difficulties and experiences a highly sensitive forty-something might find when choosing to remarry and co-parent. Along the way, I believe our relationship evolved and so did we. We discovered some solutions to the discomfort and learned to accept and even appreciate the things we can not change. There is still work to be done and more changes in store for my new husband and me.
Please enjoy reading the top 5 posts of 2019. May they make you feel less alone and give you hope. If they prove to be helpful, even better.
Top 5 New Posts of 2019
- The Dark Sides of Warm and Kind People: From parenting to partnership, sweetness and kindness feels great but how do these extra kind and gentle people show up when the going gets tough? Do they avoid conflict at all costs? Do they teach us anything essential? Do they empower us or leave us deflated? How empty positive words defeat intimacy.
- Are You Happy Avoiding People?: Is avoiding interacting serving us well? Should we be able to hit a button and let our Uber driver know we do not want to talk? Is avoiding just the easy way out? In the long run, will we feel isolated and depressed? Introverts and highly sensitive people value quiet time and dislike small talk. Can we use our nature as an excuse to limit our connections with others?
- How You Were Raised and How It Affects Your Relationships: It’s funny how when we enter a long term relationship our past routines and habits arise. Was our childhood home structured or chaotic? Did we have a sleep schedule when we were young? How our parents nurtured or did not nurture us greatly affects our loving style now.
- This is Not What I Expected but That’s OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories: A weird and scary medical experience helps change my insecure attachment story. My story tells me I am alone and have to figure out things myself when I am overwhelmed. A cool mentor, named Dr. Puff, helps me get through the stress of my upcoming wedding and a surprise health issue.
- Reclaiming Your Space and Loving Yourself: When Mark and I combined households this summer, the introvert and HSP in me just about lost it. More people, more work and lots of change left me with little time to myself and therefore little time to create and explore. In this post I talk about how I planned to get back on track.
Mark and I on our wedding day
Thank you for letting me write and share my experiences. I appreciate the ability to work through personal obstacles on this page. Thanks for reading. I hope 2019 was good to you and fostered your growth without too much discomfort.;) May we all connect and continue to grow in 2020.
Warmly,
Brenda
If you’d like help getting to the stable point in your relationship, contact me for personal coaching. If you’d rather learn on your own time, check out my online courses in connection and insecure attachment at brendaknowles.teachable.com or click on the image below.
Thank you for sharing your life and knowledge. I read your blog every week and have learned so much!
You’re welcome Nicky. Thank you for reaching out. I’m so happy my writing resonates with you. Take care. Brenda