Stay connected

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts.


Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M

Join us on Facebook

Spastic Self-Promotion – A Necessary Evil in Writing and in Life?

I would give anything to be able to enthusiastically blast my ideas on Facebook, Twitter and Google+ ten times a day. I would kill to tell stories and keep a crowd in stitches with my effervescent nature.

I envy those who ooze energy and action. I admire those who get charged up by interaction and stimulation. I have spent a good portion of my life trying to be dynamic like that. Striving and doing like all the best people can. The way most successful and magnetic people do. It seems the right way to be. The way to be heard.

But alas, I am a dyed in the wool, sensitive introvert. I hold my breath until I can retreat to my inner world of ideas and feelings. I love interacting and gathering intimacy but long bouts of large-scale socializing and rushed living leave me feeling drained,raw and edgy. Sharing ideas is energizing but pushing fan page links and requesting Amazon reviews is not.

In the old days writers were allowed to disappear for a few months to create in peace.  Family members, friends and fellow authors honored this creative solitude. Admittedly, that setup mostly worked for male writers.  Women still struggled to find a room of their own. Nevertheless, writing used to be a solitary pursuit.

Now the world has gone ape-sh*t for media coverage.  No one leaves you alone to create. You must produce AND promote. Much of the personal advertising falls to the writer. Agents and publicists are hard to come by. A writer must have a substantial platform of readers before a publisher even gives them a glance. Book tours and press releases are mandatory for published authors. It is necessary every day to offer up tidbits of wit and insight so the people don’t forget you. Facebook, twitter, Google+, kindle self-publishing, blogging, professional groups.  Put yourself out there.  Promote, promote, promote.


But I do it. I try. I throw up links to share and bond with my readers. I allow glimpses of my personal life on Facebook. I tweet and retweet to maintain a fragile web of connections that could vanish if left unattended for an afternoon.

It’s all about constantly courting the public. Or is it?

The Tim Ferriss effect

According to Michael Ellsberg, contributor and author of The Education of Millionaires, one well placed guest post on a popular single author’s blog is better than a three minute segment on CNN or a 1000 word write-up in The New York Times.  One small introduction and a guest post on eccentric entrepreneur and author Tim Ferriss’s (The 4-Hour Workweek and The 4-Hour Body) website skyrocketed Ellsberg’s book ranking on Amazon from #1295 to #45 in a matter of hours. Ellsberg did twitter blasts, email list launches, radio interviews and webinars but nothing ramped the success needle up like the nod from his acquaintance Tim Ferriss. Much like the Oprah effect, Tim Ferriss’s magic touch is due to his great influence over a large and extremely loyal audience.

Most of us don’t have people like Tim Ferriss in our pocket and I am not advising you to stalk mega-media stars, but I do believe most of us are capable of creating meaningful relationships. We all know someone who is slightly ahead of us on the success path. Nurture that connection. Offer your assistance. Learn from them.

Could it be that a strategic placement and endorsement from an influential individual is worth 1000 tweets?  Wouldn’t it be lovely to use our energy for significant relationships instead of burning up precious fuel dithering in social media?

Do the Work – Steven Pressfield

Well known author (The War of Art, Do the Work) and screenwriter (The Legend of Bagger Vance), Steven Pressfield, states our most formidable enemy in writing is Resistance. Resistance is what makes us futz around for hours reading email, cleaning out drawers and flipping through magazines before we get down to our real work — writing. Resistance wants to distract, discourage and derail us. Pressfield says social media is Resistance’s most supreme tool.

Pressfield limits his media exposure. His publicist tweets for him. He rarely does interviews. The only consistent dialogue he maintains with his fans is through his blog Steven Pressfield Online. He admits to spending time connecting with a small tribe of followers who contribute comments to the Writing Wednesdays section of his site. A carefully placed and nourished relationship.

Above all Pressfield says DO THE WORK. Write through fear, frustration and Resistance. Focus on your craft.  Write for the love of it, not for commercial success. Pressfield claims he never made any money when he worked for commercial success.  He only succeeded when he followed his heart and did the work.

Keys to Success

Nothing gives me more energy than a good day of writing and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. Could it be these are the tools of a successful writing career? Doing beloved work and spreading kindness seems to be the right way to write and live.

How much time do you spend self-promoting?  Do you have to be mindful of your energy?  Have you found any foolproof methods to boost readership that don’t involve social media hustling?  

About the Author:


  1. allwaysunmended March 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm - Reply

    I am uncomfortable with self-promotion, too, though it may never look like it. I dutifully post every new adventure and blog post to facebook, Twitter, and Google+, always with a grimace and a silent prayer to the Universe that people will read and share, and hopefully enough people will share that I no longer need to share myself so much. It is tiring; it never fails to drain time and energy away from creation. I am not a marketer. I am a writer.

    I recall a joke I made not long ago on Twitter. I mentioned how employers (in my head, publishers) look at Klout scores when considering applicants. The more I work, the less I tweet, and my Klout score falls. Conclusion? Employers like slackers who tweet more than they work. 😉 Makes perfect sense.hehe

    • brennagee March 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm - Reply

      Jess you always amaze me with your energy. You are so represented online, your home life is dynamic, and you are always creating! How do you do it?

      Social media takes up so much of our time with its incessant maintenance. I find it hard to be creative when I am interrupted with urges to self-promote online. I enjoy sharing ideas but constant upkeep leaves me flat – like I run on a motor, instead of dreamy, lofty creativity.

      I want employers to look at content not Klout scores.;) I want to write not campaign.

      Thanks for your comments writer girl.;)

      • allwaysunmended March 5, 2012 at 2:21 pm - Reply

        How do I do it? Honestly? I don’t. Between my poor health, kids, and all that needs be done, I am constantly drained and pained. Remember, dear friend: writers, storytellers … we lie for a living, yes? It’s not so hard to _sound_ like you’re bursting with energy and grinning all the while, when in reality you’ve just collapsed, panting, on the couch, smartphone in hand. 😉

        • brennagee March 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm - Reply

          Oh, so you’re just like me? 😉 Looks like we both write marvelous fiction.;)

          • allwaysunmended March 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

            It won’t let me reply on that thread anymore, but the answer is yes, indeed! The great secret to all my energy is nothing more than thumbs capable of punching in a few well-placed punctuation marks! ;D (see?hehe)

  2. Sally Johnson March 4, 2012 at 12:06 pm - Reply

    Nice post. I must check out that Writing Wednesdays part ofnhis blog!

    • brennagee March 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm - Reply

      Yes, it’s very exciting to think that SP may actually read my carefully worded comment.;)

  3. dkzody March 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm - Reply

    I have a very nice room in which to write, but I often use my laptop wherever I happen to be sitting. However, I have been having a hankering for an office, downtown, in a high rise, overlooking the city, with big windows, and a big table, where I could go to work. What would I work on? Haven’t a clue, but the place would be there for me to go to.

    • brennagee March 3, 2012 at 6:55 am - Reply

      I’ve often thought of having an office in the city, away from home. A retreat.:) I wonder if that kind of solitude (with a view!) would affect our creativity. It’s so much easier to make word associations and metaphors when we are free from interruptions. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  4. lindaknowles March 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm - Reply

    You really know what it’s all about, and you have guts. You’ve seen the bullshit with everything, and now you’re trying to save your soul as a writer. Drop the word introvert and just call yourself an artist, and don’t give one damn about popular culture: know that it tries to kill the artist. Did I see a picture of E.B. White off to the side of your piece? He knew this whole business of writing, yet he didn’t take himself too seriously all the time. He was grateful he could earn some money from it, but he went his own way and he admired Thoreau, and White felt the mucous of popular culture and loss of self in the 1920s! You have such appetite and desire to learn everything about writing and about life, like you’ve just been born, like you’re a walking sensory sponge to everything you feel and think. How do you feel about humor and the irony of life? Yet Nelson Algren said writers are still people capable of driving other people crazy and being unrecognized, despite their wonderful obsession with the art. I know where you’re coming from: it’s a force and you get to play God on paper, and with your eloquence and wit and curious mind, get to win friends, make enemies and influence people. I hereby brand you Artist: fragile, breathtaking, risk taker, lover of writers who have come before you and never die. Bill Ogle

    • brennagee March 3, 2012 at 10:37 am - Reply

      Today we build relationships with other artists/writers through social media. In past times they met at salons and coffee houses. I still like to do that. It’s the constant self-promotion that bothers me – mostly because it takes so much time and energy.
      I get to play God on paper – yes, the world according to Brenna.;) All I want to do is put some ideas out there. I don’t want to advertise myself. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: