Surprises, Scones and Jane Austen. An Introvert Finds Herself Leading a Tour Through England

Imagine you are a kid planning to attend a new summer camp. You are a little nervous about the situation because: 1. You don’t know anyone there. 2. It’s a long way from home. 3. You have never been there 4.There will be group activities and 5. You have a home, friends and family that you love very much and hate to leave. Now imagine three days before camp starts you find out you have been made camp counselor and are now in charge of the camp activities and experience for yourself and 14 other people.

Sounds like introvert hell, right?

This is essentially what happened to me prior to attending the Sacred Introvert Retreat Tour in Glastonbury England. Sadly, the leader of the tour was not able to attend due to circumstances out of her control. Since I had agreed to be her assistant on the tour, I was unceremoniously given the title and responsibilities of Leader. Mind you, it already took a sizable amount of ex-spouse diplomacy and advanced strategic planning for me to be able to disentangle from my mom mantle for ten days. It would be worth it. According to the original plan I was going to tour England, speak about introversion, take in breathtaking countryside, serve as helper to the tour’s actual leader, make meaningful friendships, eat gobs of scones and read Jane Austen books. But noooooooo… There was another plan at work, a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, WTF?, you-just-might-learn-something plan.

Started out like this…

I really was not interested in leading. I was interested in experiencing. I had visions of my experience now amounting to a barrage of people herding, group photo taking  (while missing the real view) and desperate, night-before research about the areas to be visited. My head was swimming.

If I was to ever lead a tour, I would be over-prepared. In this case I wasn’t prepared at all.

I was in too deep to back out. I resolved to accept my fate and love my trip, because, hey, I was still traveling to England. My adventure was still happening, just with added twists and responsibilities.

Off you go!

My flight over unfolded without a hitch. I did not sleep at all because I never sleep on planes but by then I was running on adrenaline anyway. I made it to the abbey house where we were staying. The caretakers of the abbey were thrilled to see me. Now they had someone to hand everything over to. Yay! They offered me room number 13, of course, but later offered me room number 15 as a second option. I took it. My view over the back garden was gorgeous.

View out my window.

We all met for dinner the first night. As the baked cod and green beans were passed around, names were exchanged and tentative acquaintances were made. I received a few questions inquiring about the original leader (easy to answer), the bus stop location (no idea) and how to make an international call without a global calling plan (you don’t, unless you want to pay through the nose). A co-leader arose from the crowd. She had been to Glastonbury before so she had some sense of local logistics. I started to breathe a little easier. I then trudged up the worn carpeted stairs to my room and collapsed. I slept for eight solid hours.

The next few days involved tours around Glastonbury led by my co-leader, an early morning visit to Stonehenge and a free day to recharge (this was an introvert tour after all).

The best laid plans…

I started to get nervous about the talk I was supposed to deliver on Tuesday night about introverts and relationships. I wanted to change some things now that I had met the group. I used most of my free day to revamp the presentation. I found engaging images to use and re-constructed my key points via PowerPoint.

Tuesday night arrived and I realized I had the wrong adaptor to attach to the Abbey House’s projector. The Brits are so kind. The chef from the house gave me a lift in the catering truck to the local tech store. The tech store was sold out of the adaptor I needed so the owner let me borrow his. All of this and my Mac laptop still could not communicate with the projector. So guess what I did when it came to my speech? I winged it! Like the rest of the trip. I rolled with it and you know what?

I did it!

Introverts are not known for being good off the cuff. We don’t speak extemporaneously all that well, but I felt comfortable with the group and I just told my story. It may not have been my best presentation but it was real and I believe, thought-provoking.

Ended up like this.

It’s about people and places, not plans

So, this trip has been a lesson in learning how to let go of expectations and roll with the punches. Like author, Elizabeth Gilbert, says, Done is better than good. I think I got things done and occasionally even did them well.

In the end, the trip was meticulously planned by the real leader and the group of introverts turned out to be remarkably independent (should not have been a surprise) and incredibly kind and thoughtful (so appreciated).

As always, for me it was about the people. I had the most delicious, humanity-laden, conscious conversations with others on the tour as well as with another guest of the abbey, a vicar from London. My whole being was fed by these individuals and their openness.

What an unforgettable experience. I learned something about myself and I fed my never-ending curiosity regarding new places and the human condition. And… I found time to experience one proper cream tea (tea with scones and clotted cream!) while reading Jane Austen.

How are you at leading? How are you at rolling with the punches?  

 P.S. Lady Di is one of my heroes so it was fun to use her images.;)