Hi All,
Since we are all cooped up at home for the most part, I thought it would be nice to reach out via a video. It seems a little more personal. Even though I like my alone time and down time, I miss people!
In the video I read a small section from my book, The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World. This section talks about my hometown and my family. I mention the joys of growing up in a small town and the struggles I felt living with an extroverted and competitive sister.
I am hoping some of you can relate to me. I would love to hear how your hometown/city and family of origin shaped you. Even if you can’t relate to me, I would love to hear your perspective. It would be great to learn something new.
I hope you are all well and are finding ways to navigate this new lifestyle. My family and I are primarily living at home with occasional trips to Target. My kids go back and forth between my house and their dad’s. My husband is working from home every day. My paraprofessional job is on hold until April 6th, when I may be dispatched to do emergency childcare for the district.
Let me know if you like the video format and if there are any other subjects or questions you would like me to discuss and answer. I’m open to connecting.
Hi Brenda,
So happy to have discovered you at this time. I grew up in agricultural upstate New York. I was one of five…two older sisters who competed with each other, then an older brother, the only boy who was intended to inherit the farm business, then me, and then a baby sister. I did not connect to my introverted nature until recently when I discovered Susan Cain’s book, Quiet. I am finally realizing that I received many messages in the past that being introverted was the “wrong” way to be. Additionally, in the context of growing up in an household impacted by my dad’s alcoholism, there was great pressure to conform to a happy, outgoing facade for anyone outside of the family. There was not much dialogue about the world or how to be successful in it and I felt I was on my own to figure out most of what I needed to do in life. I was, or took on the role of, the quiet, rule-bound, middle child. After many stops and starts, I got through college and became a successful teacher and administrator, not realizing how hard it was to do as an introvert. Now retired, I have the information and emotional strength to determine what my next chapter will look like and yet it feels a bit like starting from scratch and meeting myself for the first time. I do love solitude but also need a few close friends and a sense of belonging to some type of community. Retiring and moving have disrupted those needs and I am endeavoring to correct that. As I discover more people like you, I feel less alone in my temperament and personality than before. Thank-you for your openness and sharing. I have ordered your book and look forward to reading it.
Hello Jackie. Thanks for sharing your experience. I can relate to much of it. As I read, write and mature, I learn that our temperament is influenced by our innate nature, our environment and our relationships. Your father’s drinking and your place in your family, shaped you as much as the sensitive nature your were born with. I also believe our temperament evolves and changes as we grow and enter new situations.
I also need close friends and community. I hope you find those in your new retirement stage. You are definitely never alone in your temperament. May you find contentment as you go along.
Hi Brenda, Like you I grew up in the country on a dirt road in Kansas I am the older or two with my brother 3 years behind me in school. My community was even smaller in that I attended a one room country school and a high school with 55 to 80 students. I didn’t recognize my introvert tendencies until high school where my country/farm life didn’t encourage much social life. Most of my classmates also lived in the country and had responsibilities there. I had friends in my class but probably due mostly to location I didn’t develop friendships with those who lived in town (300 people) and had longterm relationships developed throughout elementary years. As a teenager I remember telling my mother I would wear what I liked not what was the fashion of the day. That statement reveals how I thought and felt.
In college I made mew friends but was not an outgoing or a social butterfly. I tended to be a bookworm who spent time learning as much as possible. As the years have passed I rather enjoyed my time alone or with a few close friends and co-workers. when my children were little, preschoolers, I began to miss the adult relationships before returning to full time employment. My husband was also an introvert who found when we returned to his home territory that his friends from younger years no longer fit into his “sober” life. After his death and my retirement I find that I need a few close relationships but can be happy with solitude in the country. There is much to feed my soul here in the country of MN, especially now that I can maintain relationships with family and friends digitally.
Thank you for sharing your life through your book and blogging. This has been thought porvoking through the years that I have been following you.
Thank you for sharing your growing up story Ellen. There is something quite enjoyable about small town and country living. Peaceful. The work on farms keeps everyone busy and the fresh air adds to good health. Does learning and reading fill your need for connection? I have found that learning (often through reading) fills me up quite a bit. It sounds like the country life suits you very well. I’m glad you find contentment in your quiet life. Like you, I have to have at least a few close relationships. I have found I like to belong to communities too, such as my church and the school where I work. I appreciate your comment Ellen. Thank you so much for keeping track of me over the years through the blog. It’s nice to be connected.:)