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BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live

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Video: The Space We Need: An Introvert Wakes Up, Slows Down and Starts Living According to Her True Nature

Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it. ~ Epictetus

Something new for space2live… a short film (5 minutes, it’s worth it).  A visual to enhance the many words spilled on the pages of this site. Through filmmaker, Nic Askew’s, beautiful lens the experience, rather than the explanation, of an introvert is captured and shared in a soul biography. You’ll feel the honesty and vulnerability.  Enjoy.

THE SPACE WE NEED from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

How did you like the visual message vs. a written one? Was there a part of the film that spoke to you?

If you enjoyed The Space We Need, you may also love:

 Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts  (TEDTalk)

Introverts Explained: Why We Love You But Need to Get Away From You (space2live)

The Introvert’s Love Affair with Solitude: Will It Always Be Taboo? (space2live)

There’s Nothing Wrong with You. You’re an Introvert. (space2live)

Introverts Are Not Misanthropes: We Love Specifically, Individually and Deeply (space2live)

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  1. Simi October 4, 2014 at 3:30 pm - Reply

    You’re amazing and so inspiring. 🙂 you taught me to be more confident in myself, but it’s hard sometimes especially in high school but I’m no longer apologizing for my more introverted nature. It shocks some people at times because I can be very social and it’s different because I actually love connecting with people not to be popular. I have so many clubs so I’ve been spending the weekend in introverted mode which is probably the opposite of most people. I overdid myself the first week of school and had a crazy burnout on Friday, so I’ve learnt to pace myself. But spending time alone still gives me some of those guilty feelings…my close friend who I go to school with lives farther away so it’s harder to meet up, I have many other friends though which I talk to but it’ll feel weird invading their cliques. Plus I prefer deep one-on-one conversations to going to parties.

    • Brenda Knowles October 7, 2014 at 10:34 am - Reply

      You are so self-aware for a young woman! Keep on being you. The right friendships will arise. It’s so powerful to know what you need to do to replenish yourself. You still love people even though you’re an introvert. You just want deep connections rather than a zillion acquaintances which is counter-culture but still very OK.:) Keep you head up and your smile warm. People will be drawn to you. Know your limits and don’t hesitate to say no in a diplomatic way. You’re on the right path Simi. Stay you.:)

  2. […] Video: The Space We Need: An Introvert Wakes Up, Slows Down and Starts Living According to Her True … […]

  3. Kimber November 20, 2013 at 11:17 am - Reply

    That was lovely and authentic Brenda. What a beautiful leap. Love, your tribe.

  4. […] ← Video:The Space We Need: An Introvert Wakes Up, Slows Down and Starts Living According to Her… […]

  5. Denise Hisey August 23, 2013 at 10:02 am - Reply

    The video was nice; I think it helped me feel the emotion more.
    Thanks for being real.

    • Brenda Knowles August 23, 2013 at 5:36 pm - Reply

      Cool. Good to know a visual presence evoked more emotion.
      I’m all out there now, being real.;) Feels good.

  6. Casey Sheridan August 22, 2013 at 2:54 pm - Reply

    Great job! The video gives a nice ‘human’ touch to your post. Not that I thought you were an alien from another planet 😀

    It’s great to see and hear you. Amazing. I could never do that.

    So cool!

    • Brenda Knowles August 23, 2013 at 5:33 pm - Reply

      The filming part was easy. I just blabbed and Nic filmed. Watching myself on video – not so easy. I’ve only seen it twice in entirety. Figured I needed to see what the comments were referring to.;)
      I may do some speaking in the future. This is a start.
      Thanks for your lovely encouragement and support. So appreciate your opinion writer friend.

  7. David August 22, 2013 at 2:05 pm - Reply

    I believe I speak for so many of your readers in offering a loud and beautiful “Wow”. Your thoughtful insight and comfortable style of writing engages us in a way that makes us feel as though we’re having a conversation with you. Feeling validated, understood, and supported as an introvert is something most introverts haven’t felt before. You get it. You understand, you’re walking the walk with us and your written blog work pulls us in. You’ve become a voice. And now, the film, to enhance the words, is a whole new and fun level of seeing how awake and aware you are. While you’re not the only one to write about introversion, you’re the one who stands out as so down to earth, so approachable, so real. Those of us who’ve been reading with you, have also been growing with you. Thanks for all you’ve done thus far, we look forward to what’s next. Congratulations on seeing your important work come to life in film.

    • Brenda Knowles August 22, 2013 at 7:26 pm - Reply

      I’m so thrilled you feel validated, supported and understood. That is what I want to offer. That is what I wanted most in the world for myself. Nothing better than finding a tribe that understands and accepts your core nature. May we all continue to grow and bloom. Thank you for your deep encouragement and kind words. I appreciate them more than you know.

  8. unfetteredbs August 21, 2013 at 6:18 pm - Reply

    I’m so glad LouAnn reblogged this. Awesome.

    • Brenda Knowles August 21, 2013 at 7:36 pm - Reply

      Thank you. I’m thrilled she shared it too. Glad it hit home with you.

  9. The Presents of Presence August 21, 2013 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    What a popular post this is ~ it’s great!! I reblogged it as well! Thank you for allowing me to share it! I love connecting! ♥

  10. […] Video:The Space We Need: An Introvert Wakes Up, Slows Down and Starts Living According to Her True N…. […]

  11. lillianccc August 21, 2013 at 12:25 pm - Reply

    Finally. Someone who not only gets introverts but can speak eloquently about them. To me, this is so much more charismatic and passionate than a traditional, fiery speech. Your point about feeling unnatural to be so busy and social all the time really struck me, especially when I’ve always felt that NOT to be that way was to be strange and mysterious. Thank you for making this video and thank you for attempting to put into words what so many of us feel on a daily basis. I’m lucky in that I’ve come to see and accept my introversion not as a problem but as part of my identity but many other people still struggle and need to hear your message in this video.

    • Brenda Knowles August 21, 2013 at 7:06 pm - Reply

      Oh! I’m so happy you enjoyed the film and its delivery. I was drawn to the Soul Biography style the first time I saw it. I wanted others to feel the introvert experience rather than just hear an explanation of it.

      Busy-ness is so draining, yet so expected and lauded. It’s good to be productive but not at the expense of your soul.;)

      Bravo to you for accepting and honoring your introversion. There are gifts to our nature. We just have to help others be aware of them.

      Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment.

  12. The Space We Need | Deep Within August 21, 2013 at 10:27 am - Reply

    […] lovely 5 minute video, The Space We Need, speaks of the drain of pushing ourselves when we don’t have it in us–and of caring for […]

  13. shoe1000 August 21, 2013 at 6:32 am - Reply

    Soul Biographies has been coming in my email for a few years. Nic does some of the best work on this thing called life out there. For those in London, I believe he is there this week. Please check his website if you are interested.

    • Brenda Knowles August 21, 2013 at 6:30 pm - Reply

      I agree. Nic’s work resonates so deeply. Bravo to his introspection, intuition and artistry! Yes, anyone in London treat yourself to a night of meaningful viewing. Info at

  14. oawritingspoemspaintings August 21, 2013 at 5:57 am - Reply

    Reblogged this on oawritingspoemspaintings and commented:
    I seem to find more & more posts I feel the need to reblog. This is one of them. A perfect five minutes to watch if you are part of the fifty percent of introverts and if you are not, you will understand the friends you have who are, even more 🙂

  15. on thehomefrontandbeyond August 21, 2013 at 5:29 am - Reply

    found you through David Kanigan and if this is an example of your blog I am a follower anxious to read more

  16. on thehomefrontandbeyond August 21, 2013 at 5:28 am - Reply

    Reblogged this on On the Homefront and commented:
    This is me on so many levels–beautifully expressed in this short clip……

  17. […] Knowles @ Space2Live with her video post titled: The Space We Need. “Something new for space2live… a short film (5 minutes, it’s worth it).  A visual to […]

  18. chehaw August 19, 2013 at 6:25 am - Reply

    This was fantastic! Thank you so much for sharing this. I was really moved when you said you felt like you were waking up from a slumber. It’s really inspiring to see we can be alive and awake in our own way, and it’s perfectly ok.

    • Brenda Knowles August 19, 2013 at 8:02 am - Reply

      Thank you for watching and responding with such kind words. I did feel like I was waking up from a 10+ year nap.;) I see the artistry and beauty in life more readily because I give myself space to notice. It’s not easy. So many pulls on my time, but I need to see that artistry and renew my energy. I know you understand.

    • Brenda Knowles August 19, 2013 at 8:08 am - Reply

      I also want to help others feel good about themselves and their natural way of being, so we can all be our best selves.

  19. Introvert is me | Writerly Goodness August 18, 2013 at 7:22 pm - Reply

    […] Here’s her lovely video: The space we need. […]

  20. Denise August 18, 2013 at 11:31 am - Reply

    This is a wonderful video! Several months ago Susan Cain’s book “Quiet” caught my eye at a book store and changed my life. I’m now hunting every blog and website about introversion and finally feel validated in who I am as an introvert. I understand myself so much better, the more I read and hear of others for whom this is a way of life. I also love all the “introvert humor” I’m seeing out there. Thank you for being a part of making many of us feel less lost!

    • Brenda Knowles August 18, 2013 at 7:31 pm - Reply

      I am exploring and learning with you. Quiet was so validating. I love the humor around introversion as well. So good to be able to poke fun at ourselves.;)

  21. wealthyandloved August 17, 2013 at 9:56 pm - Reply

    WOW it’s so wonderful to hear what your voice sounds like! You are beautiful and eloquent and you shine in this format. I am inspired and clapping my hands for you. Brave, lovely, very smart and very real. Congratulations on this exciting leap Brenda Knowles <3

    • Brenda Knowles August 18, 2013 at 8:18 am - Reply

      We’ve never met, but I feel very supported by and connected with you K. I so appreciate your encouragement and I am here championing you and your journey just as intensely.:)

  22. Doug Toft (@dougtoft) August 17, 2013 at 8:19 pm - Reply

    Brenda, you are very smart.

    • Brenda Knowles August 17, 2013 at 8:53 pm - Reply

      Aww thank you Doug. I’m smart enough to know to surround myself with smart and wonderful people. I met with Scott the other day. I have a career plan now. Woohoo!

  23. Christine August 17, 2013 at 8:04 pm - Reply

    Wow, I’ve just made the same realization in the past few months. I remembered how I used to contemplate things for long stretches of time when I was a child, and how I hated to be organized by others. But growing up I got convinced that I was supposed to be active and surrounded by people as much as possible. Now I know that I need hours or even days without anything planned, just to let my mind wander. This is what makes me creative, energized, and more in tune with others.

    • Brenda Knowles August 17, 2013 at 8:52 pm - Reply

      We are kindred spirits on the same path.:) I spent hours in my room as a child – happy and content. Love my empty calendar afternoons/evenings or whole days!! I get back to myself in those times, which in turn makes me more patient and thoughtful of others.

  24. sheketechad August 17, 2013 at 6:41 pm - Reply

    Great job as always lady and kudos to Nic Askew as well. My preference is reading, but it was a pleasure as others have mentioned, to ‘meet’ you. May you continue on in grace and wakefulness.

    • Brenda Knowles August 17, 2013 at 8:49 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much! I’m a reader too. I feel like I don’t miss anything if it’s in writing (I can just go back and re-read). I’ve heard you can never go back to ‘sleep’ once you’ve awakened. Hope it’s true. I’m a work in progress as far as the grace thing goes.;)

  25. David Kanigan August 17, 2013 at 4:58 pm - Reply

    Wow. She’s gone Hollywood. Seriously Brenda. This was exceptionally well done. Personal, beautiful and authentic. Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

    • Brenda Knowles August 17, 2013 at 5:57 pm - Reply

      Thank you David. Nic Askew does an amazing job of capturing the essence of his subjects. I loved his work the second I saw it. So thankful I got to work with him. Happy you enjoyed it.

  26. Bods August 17, 2013 at 2:50 pm - Reply


  27. elizabeth2560 August 17, 2013 at 8:31 am - Reply

    Great post and it was good to actually ‘meet’ you in person 🙂
    The reference to waking up is quite accurate. That is what it feels like, both figuratively ( an awakening from within) and in reality (each day waking up feeling more charged). thanks

  28. pyjamadays August 16, 2013 at 4:19 pm - Reply

    This was such a lovely video, I felt I could really connect with you. You have such a lovely, engaging voice yet I found this really calming to listen to and watch! Personally, I really like and appreciate both written and the video style. I still feel uncomfortable trying to talk to my parents about my introversion (still trying to persuade me into jobs involving customer care and telecoms no matter how many times I say no lol) so I am very happy and thankful for your website because somehow I can find an answer to the worries I have in one of your posts. Thank you for this video, I really liked!

    • Brenda Knowles August 16, 2013 at 9:37 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your feedback regarding video vs. text. I’m a reader myself but I know many people like to watch videos.
      I’m sure your parents have been influenced to think customer service jobs that require a lot of “ON” time are a good place to start. Listen to your intuition and notice where you feel at home and/or very alive. This is where you will thrive. Hold your ground and set up strong boundaries. It will pay off in the long run and you will be more at peace. Thank you for reading and watching. I truly appreciate it.

  29. Andy G Jones August 16, 2013 at 3:48 pm - Reply

    How lovely to finally see and hear you! I know exactly what you mean about waking up. I just wish I’d woken up sooner! I really look forward to reading your blog every week. You articulate so well all my thoughts and experiences of being an introvert. Thank you.

    • Brenda Knowles August 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm - Reply

      Thank you. Rather nerve-racking seeing yourself on film but I do understand the value of visuals.:) It took me a long time to wake up (and I too, wish it had been sooner) but now I don’t want to waste a single moment. My introverted eyes and mind are wide open to the gifts and challenges of our way of being. Hope to help others feel valued.

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