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I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary

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Feeling Stuck?: How to Return to Love, Openness and Bliss

Staring_at_the_blue_blue_sky_by_ByLaauraa

Synchrodestiny requires gaining access to a place deep within yourself, while at the same time awakening to the intricate dance of coincidences out in the physical world.                                            — Deepak Chopra

Synchrodestiny: A constant state of connecting with all the possibilities that are.

I was in a funk. I was a tight little ball of budgets, taxes, duties, have to’s and narrow thinking. One foot in front of the other, head down, mind buzzing. I was taking care of things but feeling anxious and even a tiny bit lonely (rare for me).

free birdsUnknowingly, I was closing myself off to possibilities. I was physically, mentally and spiritually starving myself of openness by only focusing on the issues being thrown at me. I didn’t look within.  I was too stressed to look without. I was reactive with no proactive. It’s difficult to attract anything positive when your body and spirit are lacking suppleness and flexibility. I started to sink into a state of trapped.

I hate trapped.

I will do anything to be free.

Years of bliss

I recalled my years of bliss. The ones where I couldn’t wait to get up every morning. When it was easy to be gracious. When coincidences abounded and I noticed every one of them. When the Universe spoke and I heard her.

Yes, I had years like that.  I know. I’m so damn lucky.

I asked myself what I did back then that I’m not doing now. How was I so open and happy?

Engage the senses and experience the present

For starters, I used all my senses and experienced the present deeply. I used my hands to play guitar. I dove into fitness and pushed my body harder than I ever had before. Musician friends kept me immersed in music, creating an incredible soundtrack to the most inspiring time in my life (thus far;).  Playing guitar, intensely exercising and feeling music all served as meditative practices that fed me internally. They turned off the chatter in my head and created space for daydreaming, intuition and imagination. Doing led to being.

Meditating in the closet is cool

Speaking of meditating, I did that too. I sat in my closet and breathed with awareness. I attended  group meditation led by a Buddhist monk. I mentally removed the boundaries between my body and everything else. I suspended my mind and its torrent of thoughts. I reached that euphoric state of floaty brain. God, that is a delicious realm.

Getting spiritual and metaphysical and digging it

I read spiritual and metaphysical books like Eckhart Tolle’s, A New Earth and Neale Donald Walsch’s, Conversations with GodTolle is all about now, the ego and consciousness. Walsch is all a_new_earth_eckhart_tolle_332x500about explaining the divine. They said things like, If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what’s left is who you are (Tolle) and Hell is the opposite of joy. It is unfulfillment. It is knowing Who and What You Are, and failing to experience that. (Walsch). I not only drank in all the philosophizing, I understood it.

The more I explored these teachings of humanity and being, the more gracious and open-minded people entered my world. I found friends who were just as eager as I was to talk about beauty, love and the essence of being human. I found a whole hippie tribe.;)

I read Jason Mraz’s blog. I laughed at his witty and human stories. I learned about gratitude and keep-your-eyes-wide-open-jason-mrazpure love. Jason was forever pointing out beautiful things, advocating for kindness and loving with every fiber of his slight, raw diet-fed, being. He lived by the message  tattooed on his arm — Be Love. I tried to too.

While sipping on all of this incredible nectar, I felt a sense of light and love that filled me up and spilled out onto others. It was effortless to love others and in doing so I received it back tenfold.

I got both out of and into my head. I expanded on the inside. I glowed on the outside.

Losing loveliness

But I got away from that loveliness. I found myself buried in the daily grind again. Regretting the past and worrying about the future. Relying on others to fill me up. Ignoring my senses and speeding through moments instead of honoring them. And I felt trapped, limited and fearful.

Getting it back

Then, three of my friends from the era of awakening contacted me within a month of each other. We had all scattered to our own corners of the city, but out of the blue, they appeared in my life prompting me to reminisce about the enlightened old days.

I suddenly had an itch to try a new fitness class. A knee injury that had sidelined me for months, healed just in time for my foray into a warrior yoga class. Intensely concentrating on the fluid poses, hand weights and heated room, brought me back to the meditative workouts I did years before. I walked out of the yoga studio with renewed energy, an internal and external strength bubbling up.

Deeply thoughtful reading like, 18 Things Highly Creative People Do Differently and Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant, kept making its way into my inbox. I started a second perusing of the books that changed me during the years of incredible growth.

moon_meditation_silhouetteDistressed from sleepless nights, I downloaded several guided meditation podcasts. My mind and spirit desperately needed a break. They are now resting and bathing in the rapturous feelings of floaty brain and a more peaceful inner world.

I’m inching my way back to a way of being that surfaced during those years of kindness, openness and graciousness. When I was deeply connected to all possibilities.

I just hope Jason Mraz shows up.:)

How do you get back to center? Have you experienced a time of bliss? 

If you enjoyed Escaping a Funk: How to Return to Love, Openness and Bliss, then you may also love:

How to Protect and Liberate Your Energy:A Guide for Introverts and Anyone Who Feels Drained

How To Be Lively, Energetic and Vibrant When Your True Nature Is Thoughtful, Introverted and Reticent

How to Remedy Anxiety and Stress When You’re an Introverted Feeling Type

Go Lightly Even If You Feel Deeply

 

Looking to enhance your personal and relationship resilience? Please check out my book for introverts and our relationships,  The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World.

Quiet Rise of Introverts

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6 Comments

  1. […] ← Feeling Stuck?: How to Return to Love, Openness and Bliss […]

  2. pyjamadays March 15, 2014 at 3:37 pm - Reply

    Yet again, I somehow come across one of your posts with perfect timing; as I recently bought some Kindle e-books written by Pema Chödrön (which I need to catch up on) and sparked a sudden interest in Buddhism a couple of days before I came across this. One thing which definitely seems to help me to find that ideal state of mind and being is creativity. When I lack in creativity, I feel like I am slowly losing myself. So I will draw/paint, handcraft something or mess about with a musical instrument and suddenly I feel much better, I think pursuing creative tasks enables one to relax the mind and just enjoy everything as it is during the now with one’s senses.

    I enjoy reading your posts so much, and every time I feel like we can connect through your fab writing. Thanks! 🙂

    • Brenda Knowles March 15, 2014 at 4:04 pm - Reply

      I love Pema Chodron and the tenants of Buddhism! I also read a lot around those subjects. Both gave me a sense of peace and calm.

      Yes to creativity! It truly is transformational to create something. Writing does that for me. It allows me to go within AND connect with others. Getting in flow mode is so nourishing. Great point.:)

      It is my deepest pleasure to connect with you through writing. Thank you for reading and reaching out to me.

  3. Doug Toft March 14, 2014 at 10:08 pm - Reply

    This is pure Keroauc–non-linear, not 100 percent coherent, beautiful. You were ecstatic when you wrote this, no?

    • Brenda Knowles March 15, 2014 at 3:46 pm - Reply

      I get in a poetic, not totally coherent state every once in a while. I just roll with it. I’ll take any comparison to Kerouac. Thank you!!

  4. Beautiful! I utterly relate to your journey – I’ve gone back and forth, too. “I was reactive with no proactive.” Love that! Isn’t that where we all start feeling trapped… within our protective, fearful knee-jerkyness instead of living in our response-ability to ourselves, our inner life….and then it connects us and ripples out. GREAT quote by Chopra – finding that deep soothing balance between the inner and outer dance. Thank you Brenda!

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