I’m not sure where to begin this week’s post. I’m in a low place. The relationship with my man ended last week. I’m sad over the breakup. My children are sad over the breakup. I’m sad I hurt him. The weather has been dark, rainy and dreary for days. Prince died (and I live in Minneapolis). My heart and body feel heavy.
I’m sorting through the ashes and memories and trying to make wisdom and lessons out of heartbreak but my mind is tired. I feel unsure and insecure about the future. I feel unprotected and I question whether I will ever find someone to love who loves me sweetly, softly, passionately and consistently. I told close friends I feel like an egg in the middle of a sidewalk; vulnerable and exposed.
My man and I were so different we couldn’t connect. I value empathy. He values competence. I carefully tend to people’s feelings. He’s radically honest. I’m an idealist. He’s a steadfast realist. He was all about action and I was all about thoughts and emotions. I love and loved him. I know differences can enrich a relationship and relationships take work but how much work is too much work? How much conflict is acceptable? How much hurt is normal?
I started to feel uneasy around him and my energy depleted to the point where I wasn’t myself or the loving partner I wanted to be.
I recently watched a webinar through Personality Hacker where Bruce Muzik of Loveatfirstfight.com said we are programmed to find the mate who is least equipped to heal our childhood wounds but most equipped to trigger them. Bingo.
I don’t have a lot of spark or creativity to write this week. My active mind is distracted by emotional work. I’ve been so scattered. Let me tell you the silly things I’ve done. 1. I left the products I purchased at the hair salon at the salon. Didn’t even give them a second thought until they called me to let me know they were there. Brownie points to the salon staff for apologizing to ME when I returned to pick them up. They tried to make me feel better. If we lived in the south, they would have said, “Bless your heart!”. 2. I typed a follow-up email for a client after our session and then never hit send. Three days later (I usually follow-up within 24 hours), she emailed me and asked if I had sent the email yet. Again, a kind person trying to help me save face. 3. I couldn’t find my keys or my Target card (5% off right?) at Target the other day. I found them both later in my purse where they are supposed to be. Yes, people the struggle is real. At least, my absentmindedness provides moments of levity.
I will eventually write a thoughtful and respectful post about the end of our year and a half long relationship. I learned so much and am so grateful for his presence in my life. I want to keep much of it private but also give understanding and growth points to my readers with similar tender, intuitive and introverted hearts.
But today I’m going to give myself love. I already did a 30 minute guided meditation from Dr. Emmett Miller called, “I Am”. It is free on the Guided Mind app. When I started the meditation my chest and stomach were both tight. Afterwards, I felt calm and all the knots had been released. Meditation and visualization work for me. I wanted to share that with you.
My middle son is home sick from school today. I plan to make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for us for lunch. Maybe we’ll play a game or watch a movie together. Maybe we’ll just snuggle and talk on the couch. I’m grateful for this time with him.
I have time to myself this weekend. I will read, write, cry, exercise and spend time talking with gentle and kind friends and family. I may even go to church. I feel the need to connect with a spiritual community.
Thanks for allowing me to pass this week on writing a formal post. I’m going to direct the light inward for a while so I can recharge and grow and ultimately beam outward toward you again.
What helps you heal? How do you care for yourself when you feel wounded?
Brenda,
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through and know it all too well. It sounds like you’re handling it wisely just as you advised me to do the same. We will get through this. In a strange turn of events, my “introvert” has come back into my life and we are both working on ourselves and may just remain friends, at least for the time being so only time will tell, but I know time does heal and when we are happy with ourselves, then we can be happy with someone else. Big hugs to you! You are stronger than you know, you’ve got this! Best of luck to you, and I’ll be reading your insightful work! <3
Thank you so much Carla! I am glad your introvert returned if only to be a kind companion. I would like to be friends with my man but I don’t think he’s up for that. It’s so hard to have someone be a big part of your life and then be out of it completely. As you said, we shall find ways to be happy with ourselves and then maybe just maybe love will find us. I’m learning where my strength lies. I hope you are too. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. All my best to you dear.
This post came at a time I need it most. Going through something similar with my husband, out differences are much like yours you described. I used to remind myself that “opposites attract” but find that of a misconception. Though they attract they quickly become an emotional turmoil for both parties, always trying to find a balance yet difficult to find the middle ground.
We have children and we want to stay together for them especially both coming from broken homes but it seem to hurt more that way. We continue to grow apart and this saddens and frightens me. I do not want to be lonely yet I do either way. Funny how one minute your life is planned and made and the next the uncertainty of everything you thought you knew becomes apparent and raw.
He went it of town for a week, and I’m left sorting the emptiness. The mess we made before left me bitter but missing him and I won’t bring myself to admit this to him. I’ve already been to open, my weaknesses are to great and exposed.
I thank you again for your openness it truly helped me see and if just for a moment feel connected to someone.
I want to give you big credit for willing to be emotionally vulnerable with your husband. You two are definitely in the power struggle stage of your relationship.Everyone has to go through it to get to the stronger more mature love stage. Opposite types require an advanced effort level in order to reach understanding. You are speaking two different languages. How willing is he to talk about things or work through them with you? I always feel there is hope for couples unless there is addiction or abuse involved. Even though my relationship didn’t work out, I still have hope. It all comes down to connecting again and finding true intimacy. Every fight has an unmet intimacy need behind it. You just have to figure out which one. I would love to work with you as a coach but I realize that is not always financially possible. If my coaching is not an option, I highly recommend going to loveatfirstfight.com and enter your email address to gain access to Bruce Muzik’s 4-5 videos on creating healthy relationships. He is really good and can give you new perspective on your conflict. I also recommend figuring our each other’s love languages (5lovelanguages.com). They can offer vital insight. Most of all, know you are not alone. Sending you loving support and encouragement. Growth is tough and relationships are our biggest challenges. Thank you for sharing your story Morgan. Cheering for you!
I like how you and Prince and Anais Nin won’t settle for being anyone else’s idea of who you should be or how you should be. You’re awesome the way you are, and I appreciate you sharing your vulnerability on your site.
I hope you take some time to just “be,” and to let your mind wander all over the place, and to fill out a journal or two. Indulge in feeling everything you need to feel. I hope you have time to read whatever you feel like reading, or dance around listening to Prince when no one’s around.
But most of all, I hope you have an empathetic ear to hear you and see you and hold space for you; someone who can hold your heart in their hands and listen to you, and feels your feelings with you while get them all out…
We’re all rooting for you, here.
Brett the things you said are what I’ve been longing to hear. I wanted permission to just be, not have to be productive or practical. I gave myself permission this weekend. I read, watched television, went to a church service, exercised, bought books and a blender. It felt good to do those things without judgment. I gave myself space and my creativity was sparked. I came up with a few writing ideas.
I also spent time talking with my dear loved ones. They actively listened and responded empathetically. It was so wonderful. I am so grateful for their kindness. My readers are an incredible bunch as well. I feel the love.:) I’m so fortunate.
I REALLY appreciate your compassionate words and support. It’s heavenly to be understood and heard. Thank you!
This brings me a very happy heart, we meditate the same. I just love you. Sleep well. Xxo
Love to you my friend….”When a door closes another will open.” ~
I love the meditation you began doing, I meditate before I go to sleep, and I find it brings me back to self love to end whatever has happened in the day or my own thoughts.
Walk into the room like your hips move mountains!
Hug you,
Connie k
Thank you friend. I appreciate your support dance/music/love sister. I have been meditating at night too. I find it soothing and helpful. I will process and heal now and then soon I will walk with my head high and hips swaying.:)
Thank you so much Brenda. I feel similar. Trying to find my own heart – which sounds funny but I’m in need too….
Send you a hug and hope it will ease you pain
Thank you Tina. Sending you a hug, hope and strength. May we both learn and grow.
So sorry about your relationship. And the hurt bleeds all over your post. Tomorrow is a new day…
Thank you David for being part of my online family. Tomorrow is a new day. I always have hope.
Brenda – I admire your courage and strength…I’m sure it took tremendous energy for you to honor yourself and your needs. I find it is hard for many to accept INF* needs and that makes it especially hard for me to accept myself because deep down I want to love and be loved intimately so bad that I have a tendency to sacrifice my needs in an attempt to get “it”. I struggle with the vulnerability you are able to tap into during these difficult times which pushes me further away from love and intimacy. Watching you a few steps ahead of me on the journey is very hopefully and comforting and gives me courage to test the waters. Thank you so much for sharing 🙂
Dear Julia, Thank you for your positive comment kind kindred spirit. We are definitely a lot alike. I also have a big need for intimacy and will ignore or suppress my true needs/nature in order to feel it, but that is not sustainable. At some point, I always return to my sensitive nature and its need for gentle love. I need to feel safe emotionally in order to love someone fully. I have a lot of love to give, as I know you do too. We INFs have to learn how to include ourselves when we are meeting everyone’s needs. It benefits everyone in the long run.
Vulnerability breeds intimacy. I’ve learned that. We have to let other’s know our interior world as we know theirs. And yes, that takes courage. One day at a time…:)
Tender Brenda,
Take care of you, dear. No rush to be ‘all better’. Long distance hugs and tissues sent.
Hugs,
~SE
Thank you for the permission to take my time healing. Sometimes we need to hear that from others. Thank you for being such a gentle consistent reader friend. I truly appreciate your presence in my world. 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear this, Brenda. I don’t know you, but I’ve been following your posts for a while, and as another INF, I relate so much to your thoughts and feelings. I also know how much the end of a relationship hurts. Take care and be kind to yourself while you heal. Love and best wishes xx
Thank you Catherine. I feel like you kind of know me.;) INFs get each other. I appreciate your kind support. I am taking time to breathe and process. There will be an empty spot for a while but I know it won’t be forever. I always have hope and more love to give.
Sorry to hear of your pain, Brenda. Believe it or not, it will go away in time. Hopefully, the following will make you feel better. I believe intimacy is a learned habit that one can get over, just as with any other dependency.
For what it is worth, all my greatest personal achievements came after a girl or a woman dumped me. I know you have long worked out. When I was twenty-one, my first serious love affair ended vary badly at the end of May. That August I squatted double bodyweight in a sanctioned meet for the first time (Three white lights!). When I was thirty-one, my wife ran off with another guy. Between then and age thirty-four, my clean and jerk rose steadily from 245 to 286. (American weightlifting competitions went metric over this period.) I did not ask anybody out the entire time. The endorphins (in the morphine family) produced by the human brain last for nine or ten hours after a vigorous workout of heavy squats, pulls, and overhead lockouts in the power rack. When a guy, even a small guy (I’m 5’5,” 180 pounds) can lift nearly 300 pounds from the floor to overhead, he can go just about anywhere alone without being hassled or intimidated. He can quietly relax without feeling any need to prove anything. Confidence breeds a hearty sense of humor.
I am a professional writer, and all the golden ideas come when I am alone. I never have had a serious girlfriend while I was working on a publication.
It is nice having friends and interacting on a surface level. But nothing valuable gets done unless I have a whole weekend totally alone. A full week is even better.
From every corner, society pounds into us the “need” to have an intimate relationship. That same message is an inadvertent put-down of everybody who does not have a special someone. How many hours, days, months, even years, do people waste looking for a unique relationship?
Six months of investing in oneself can help overcome such acquired dependancies.
So I hope you will hit the weights hard, keep wriyyen records to chart every rep of progress, and learn that our own brains produce the most powerful recreational drug of all, endorphins. And nobody can arrest you for taking your endorphin high anywhere you choose to go.
Dear Gold Rhino, Thank you for sharing your experience. I think we do each have our own way of dealing with the loss of intimacy. I, like you, do tend to get back into my workout routines. I find new music to listen to while I do strength training or cardio exercise. I agree there are some amazing endorphins to be had during those workouts. I also intend to get back into my writing practice. The breakup and my careful processing of it have given me some clarity and what I think is good, useful writing material. It is interesting how writers need the time to themselves to get the creative juices flowing but also need the experiences and human connections to inspire them.
I plan to focus on pursuits that fill me up — writing, coaching, family activities, learning, fitness. I’m in no rush to get into another relationship but I know eventually I will seek out intimacy again. I have a deep need to know others intimately. I’m discovering for myself that being dependent on others in an interdependent fashion is OK, necessary even, to live and love fully.
I truly appreciate your thoughtful insight GR. I like learning your perspective. It helps me. I can actually see my (former) man being on a similar page as you.
Brenda, thank you for sharing, I read your words and I feel them in my very being, because I know how it feels to love like that and “how much work is to much work” how much conflict is to much, where it’s so depleting. I went to the hospital today because I was physically fatigued, environmental factors and people are making me sick and I’m having a physical reaction to it. I notice that when I do go to the hospital, it has something to do with the people, I’m around and how they live. I was fine before I moved. I got myself to the hospital and they checked me out. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Even though I hate hospitals, when I go there, my pain subsided. It was quiet and peaceful in the room, the doctors and nurses attended to me, with such tender care, they were all so pleasant, I noticed and realized in that moment, I need people like that in my life. Because I’m ALWAYS doing the caring and nurturing. ALWAYS and I need that too. I wanted to make sure I was ok, because my passed from a heart attack at 39, so I’m fine. But I need to be around loving supportive people..I DO and I need that in my life.
Morena you said what I’ve been thinking. I too need tender care and supportive people. I have friends/family who provide that but they have their own lives and families and aren’t able to consistently be there. I understand that. It’s funny you mentioned finding that support and care at a hospital. I recently got a new dentist and he’s especially nurturing. I really noticed and appreciated his awareness of my emotional and physical well-being. That kind of responsiveness lets us sensitive souls rest easier. I’m glad you are alright. It’s good you know when you need to check up on your health and wellness. Please include yourself when you are striving to get everyone’s needs met. It needs to be a two-way interaction.
Yes, I know…it really does need to be a two-way street. I hope your heart is feeling a little lighter, during this difficult time, knowing that we all love you here and are truly grateful for you and how you share your story and how you are vulnerable with us. You give us the freedom and space to live too. Knowing we are not alone as introverts and HSP. The world can make us feel alienated but the world needs more of us. We make it a better place with our sensitive souls.
Ever since my last relationship Brenda, I have been practicing self care. The more I took care of myself, or was starting to, he knew it was over…as he was trying to distract me from being alone and taking care of myself…the more I started to love myself more, he knew that I would realize the love I truly needed and that he wasn’t providing any of that. I used to take care of myself all the time, before my mom passed, It was always spa day for me at home on sunday, with music, bubble bath, reading writing…. but after her passing I took on the role as a care taker when I was a teen, and I paid the price for it. When I had a panic attack back in 2011, I new my well being was at risk, and this only seem to happen around toxic people. I shouldn’t have to end up in the hospital, in order for anyone to attend to me.
When the doctors ask me how I was and how they just made sure I was ok, and they kept checking on me, asking me if I needed anything and how I felt, I felt so cared for. Even brining me, ice water was nice.. I don’t remember the last time someone brought me a glass of water, but I remember the last time, I brought someone water and made them food. As soon as I got there, they immediately took care of me, I wasn’t even waiting in the ER that long, no longer than 5 minutes. It’s crazy how my pain immediately subsided within a few hours. It was quiet, clean and peaceful, my blanket was warm and I would have fallen asleep, had they not kept coming in, lol. This is another reason why I stay at hotels, because of the hospitality and to be left alone.
I need that and people just don’t get it Brenda. I need peace and quiet. Even when I eat, soft music in the background is ok, but loud talking people and the TV is not. This is why I don’t eat out. I don’t even own a TV. lol. I just know I need nurturing too. I’m running on ‘E’ without it. I know and believe for a fact, that if my mom would have had enough love, in her life and support and someone to care for her, instead of giving, and people taking so much from her and being mentally and physically abused, her heart would not have gave out. This is why I’m taking care of mine. People can be such leechers and not just with money. I’m so looking forward to relocating and leaving my old life behind. Being near the water is going to be a very rejuvenating experience. Hopefully I’ll meet some like minded souls along the way :).
Thank you for sharing so candidly Morena. I understand the need to be nurtured. I’ve discovered there is physical nurturing (caretaking, bringing you water, making you a meal, changing the oil on your car, etc.) and emotional nurturing. I’m starting to think emotional nurturing is crucial for highly sensitive people. I haven’t found a partner who was capable of both types of nurturing. I bet your mom would have benefited from more all around support. Life can be heavy and overwhelming if you only give and don’t receive. I’m not saying I am a saint and give too much, but I know I am able to give more abundantly when I am filled up with kindness and emotional responsiveness. I agree our types need peace as a foundation to our being our best selves. It keeps us from getting overwhelmed. May you find like-minded souls who literally and metaphorically bring you a glass of water and wrap you in a warm blanket. Then your heart will be so open!
Hi Brenda, I’m the same way, I need to be emotionally nurtured too. It was just nice that someone brought me a glass of water, something so simple, when I’m always doing, giving and supporting others. I had to stop though. I don’t know if its the cancerian in me, lol to be so motherly and nurturing but I had to stop. I know now that I have let go of the leechers, the right people will come into my life. I’m not depriving myself of that emotional support anymore. Those days are over!!!!!
Oh Brenda, I’m so sorry to hear this. I had come to really enjoy following your relationship and its progress. The worst for me is the finality of it, when it finally breaks beyond repair and it’s over. There is just such a deep void that can hurt so much it’s almost physical pain (probably is on some scientific level). One thing I hang my hat on is that every day gets easier. Yes, you will have moments of wrenching despair where it comes rushing back in the most painful and unexpected ways, but every morning is one step closer to moving on without that person, and it does get easier from morning to morning. When you consider that, imagine the difference from week to week, then month to month, and so on. The next step (for me anyway) is to carve out a brand new routine without that person. This is where the old adage – make him a part of your life, not your whole life – is beneficial if you’ve practiced that. What is tremendously hard and only complicates matters is if he’s become your whole life and you’ve done everything together. But fresh, new routines can be great, in my opinion. I turn inward and allow myself to become selfish again (in a good way, after the kids of course!). I load up on books from the library, start a housecleaning/organization project, sign up for a class that’s hopefully held during a time when a significant other would have been over, utilize Netflix (once you get into a delicious, addicting series, it’s hard to focus on anything else!). Immerse yourself in something new and solitary first, and then branch out, say the next week, into catching up with the friends you might have put aside for your relationship. I hope these help a little. I wish you well and look forward to your return when you’re feeling better. Thank you for your inspiration. 🙂
Dear Jennifer, thank you for your thoughtful insight and suggestions for healing. There is definitely a void at this point. Although, we didn’t do everything together, my man and I had our routines and consistent contact. I miss the little things like talking to each other about our days or eating the leftovers out of my refrigerator together. But you’re right, it will get easier day by day. I am like you and do things like get new books to read, take classes, watch engaging shows on Netflix. I am easily entertained. I move on by learning new things, connecting with friends and family and maintaining hope for new meaningful relationships and meaningful work. I’m going to take my time processing this relationship though. There was a real love and now there is real heartache to work through slowly. Like the Sara Evans song every day, “A Little Bit Stronger”. Thank you again for your kind supportive words. I feel your compassion. I’m sending some your way as well. Take care of yourself dear lady.
Dear Brenda, So sorry to read this news. Wishing you all the self-nurturing you need to to heal your wounded heart. Blessings, David.
Thank you David. I’m self-nurturing, self-educating and searching for understanding and insight. I’m giving myself time to process. I greatly appreciate your kind words.
You know Brenda, I have read your recent relationship articles and I was so so happy to read that you’d found a partner where things were working out. Especially for an INF* I’ll admit I was a little envious about that. I thought, if she’s done it, then there is hope for my feeling based, idealist, empathetic INFPy self. It’s not about me right now though. I really wish your tender heart a swift healing. You are a light in my world. Love and blessings
Dear Rod, I admit I feel a little like I’m letting the INFs down. I really wanted to show everyone that we can have incredible strong loving relationships. We can and I did. It will happen again. I’m gathering wisdom and will share it with you. One thing I’ll share now is that you have to be prepared to go through the pain of growth with your partner. Inevitably, you’ll hit a rough patch. It’s possible to grow and move through it with a partner who’s willing to be responsive and work with you. We INFs are complex, easily wounded and not easy to understand but we’re always looking to learn and love. Keep your heart and eyes open Rod. It is definitely possible to have a long lasting beautiful relationship.
I am sorry for what you’re going through….I hope you’re feeling back to yourself soon! xo
Thank you Meg. I will heal. It’s just gotta hurt first.
Brenda! Ugh, I did wonder for you after the New Orleans trip post. I too feel vulnerable and afraid of the future. I know that things will get better for us but it sure sucks right now. I hope you are maybe able to figure out a way to make it to HF? Love love love you!
Thank you Jill. Nice to hear from you long time friend. I’m sorry we are both in vulnerable states but know I am sending you love and understanding. You have such a sensitive intuitive radar. I’m not surprised you sensed irreversible trouble in my New Orleans post. I’m torn between hiding out here in MN or down in Nashville or in Alma for HF weekend. Right now it feels like a major effort to get to MI but I’m still considering it. I would love to hang out with you in the warmth of our hometown.
Oh Brenda, my heart aches for you… relationships are so dang complicated. Your questions are just perfect and truthful – How much work is too much work? It sounds like you answered that question for yourself via Bruce – “We are programmed to find the mate who is least equipped to heal our childhood wounds but most equipped to trigger them.” Nailed it. No doubt your ‘opposing’ natures were catalysts for some positive change, but it sounds like it was too wide of a gap to accept in a lifelong partner. But wow oh wow it is so painful to say goodbye. I’m so sorry. I dare say, though, the big love that came alive with him, is still very much alive in you. After what’s been going on, I truly admire your willingness to share and to blog at all! And with your beautiful sincerity, feelings and soul. Sending much love and comfort across the airwaves to you~ XOxo
Julie you are always so caring and supportive. Thank you. I truly appreciate that, especially right now.
We had such a grand love experience. I do believe the ‘big love’ is still alive inside of me. I so want to share it with someone. You were right on about the growth that did occur with this relationship (he pushed me out of my comfort zone in good ways) as well as the too wide of a gap that stunted it. I learned so much, like that emotional safety and responsiveness are huge for me. You are a wise and kind soul. Thank you again for being in my corner.
Thank you for your vulnerable post. I deeply feel your tender heart and I see myself in some of it as well. I am also in a very tender space. Dealing with my childhood wounds being ignited by my current partner. We are both doing that for each other. It can be so painful at times. I pray for strength and courage. I pray for truth. I have been following you and reading you for 3 years now. I honor your presence and your vulnerable, authentic sharing. I got a lot out of your article on attachment styles, it had an impact on me. I am actually going to meet with my therapist later today to talk more on this important subject. I send you love & strength to keep you going on your path sister.
Bless your tender heart!
Claudia
Aww Claudia you’re so great. I wish you strength, peace and love on your path. I am grateful for your longterm readership. I am still learning and exploring attachment styles myself. I find them fascinating and very helpful to know. Interestingly, I find myself having different styles (anxious or avoidant) with different relationships. Oh well, the ultimate goal is to get to a secure attachment style. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Hugs to you.
I am so sad with you. Wrapping my emotional arms around you now.
Thank you Jennae. I truly appreciate those beautiful emotional arms around me.
Brenda, when I need to heal after a break-up, I hurt for a while and then I take long walks in nature, eat my favorite foods, write/journal (trying to finish my first book of fiction, practice yoga, listen to a lot of music, watch my favorite movies for a second or third time, and spend time with friends who will make me laugh and remind me that this too shall pass! By the way, there is a great song by India Arie – This Too Shall Pass.
I, too, am also very sad about Prince’s untimely death. He helped me party into adulthood and beyond. I listened to a ton of his music the other day and danced around my apartment. Peace and Namaste to you.
Lilly.
Thank you Lilly. We have similar healing practices. I was just thinking about what movies I’d like to watch again for comfort.:) I will check out the India Arie song. I love the visual of you dancing around your apartment to Prince music. I might need my own dance party.:)
Thank you Lilly for the hint to India Arie – this song is great.
And a big warm soft hug for you, Brenda. For a short moment, I was perplexed about your sad news. I was so confident that the both of you would work it out – which only shows the optimism you transferred all the while.
May you be carried with compassion
may your pain and your fear diminish
my your joy and happiness increase
may you live in peace again.
Dear Anne from E. thank you for reminding me of Lilly’s India Arie recommendation. I finally went and listened to it. India Arie has such a beautiful and soothing style.
My man and I had worked on many things throughout our relationship. One of the things I loved about him was his willingness to stay and work it out but in the end some things — each of our core values/natures — were not going to change. I didn’t feel like I could vulnerably be myself and have certain boundaries. He needed me to be another way to meet his needs. I needed him to be a certain way to maintain balance and soothe my mind and spirit. I know ending it was the right thing to do but I regret hurting him and truly wish we could have worked through it. Thank you Anne for your kind and supportive words. All the love I’ve felt from my readers has definitely increased my peace and diminished my pain.