I’m Sorry I Hurt You in Order to Save Myself: What Introverts Feel but Don’t Always Say

By |2016-04-17T18:31:22-05:00August 23rd, 2013|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , |

He tentatively reaches across the bed with a warm gentle hand and I ... recoil. I just need a few more delicious moments of morning mind.  I need that gauzy, thought- weaving space of nourishing idea play where I breathe fully and smile involuntarily. I need that space where I belong solely to myself. He rolls [...]

The Introvert’s Love Affair with Solitude: Will It Always Be Taboo?

By |2017-01-18T14:29:56-06:00August 9th, 2013|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I began a conscious love affair with solitude five years ago.  I've been apologizing for it ever since. I wrote the notes for this post on the backside of a final letter from my ex-husband.  A letter I found in a bedside drawer as I searched for a blank piece of paper to capture my early [...]

Introvert Relationships: We Don’t Always Want To Be Alone

By |2017-11-26T13:28:32-06:00May 10th, 2013|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

I noticed the tiny lump last Friday as I undressed and got ready for bed, a small rise on my right side just above the top rib.  My fingers gently but urgently palpitated the heart-sinking intruder, the little anomaly that I knew would make my mind whirr well into the night. Yes, it was real.  No, [...]

Introverts Are Not Misanthropes: We Love Specifically, Individually and Deeply

By |2015-09-22T16:07:00-05:00April 19th, 2013|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

Life Coach Nancy Okerlund mentions in her newsletter, The Introvert Energizer, that introverts love specifically and individually.  An introvert is a person- to- person person. I'll add that we love deeply as well. Our love is deliberate and thoughtful. We don't give lots of people snippets of our attention.  We desire true connection with each person.  We meet people [...]

Energy Envy and an Introvert Meltdown Curtailed:The Power of Having Your Sensitivity Valued

By |2015-09-22T16:07:00-05:00April 12th, 2013|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , |

I had a little meltdown today.  It had to do with old baggage about competition and insecurity.  I should have known it was coming.  I've been going 100 mph lately.  The primary reason: I'm prepping my house for sale.  Lots of organizing, cleaning, mess avoiding and workmen swarming. I'm stressed about timing  and frustrated because my [...]

Beautifully High Standards: An Introvert Waxes About Online Dating, Deliciously Independent Partners and Slow Honest Intimacy

By |2015-09-22T16:07:00-05:00April 5th, 2013|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , |

Being the introverted, freedom-loving woman I am, it would make sense that I celebrate single-hood and relish activities that are self-directed but I’ve found dating to be exciting and expansive as well. Oh sure, I’ve been involuntarily groped in a coffee-shop parking lot and forced to sit through unusually long cat stories (complete with pictures), but overall [...]

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For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i… Read more
Niko
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring… Read more
J.K.
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo

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