Do you? Your vote is what determines the direction this Great Ship America will turn. They want your retirement money. 0000001936 00000 n
', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. "George Carlin" Scripts.com. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? His parents split up when he was an infant because his . And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. Transcript. So self-important. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? I dont vote. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. "In America, anyone can become president. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. Then watch the video. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Well where do people think these politicians come from? Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. Isnt it a bit ironic, though, that the audience is laughing at all this when, essentially, Carlin is saying to them, directly to their faces, that they are stupid? All across this great land of ours, the greatest nation on earth, the greatest nation in the history of the World and in times of military crisis you can be sure that someone in a suit in this town will eventually plant himself in front of a camera and carry on a great deal about the most powerful nation on the face of the earth. e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). The transcripts I could find always sucked. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. We're all becoming like Goldfish, swimming around in our own little bowls, looking at the world through a curved piece of glass. I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? It's a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten; the ten most wanted; the ten best-dressed. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. 0000005590 00000 n
Tired of that shit. %%EOF Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. Look, I'm not against technology or communication. Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. `XX /;VU}`M%VO #5Zfb-> Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. It is a crisis of confidence', Crisis of Confidence speech - 1979 , Jon Stewart: "They responded in five seconds", 9-11 first responders, Address to Congress - 2019, Jacinda Ardern: 'They were New Zealanders. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). [5] And another one: Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. They own and control the corporations. You know, that thing that's supposed to make us more connected and informed, but really just turns us into a bunch of self-obsessed, attention-seeking, validation-craving zombies. Oh boy. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? Not affiliated with OpenAI. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! This is the best we can do, folks. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Schedule . Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. They don't fall out of the sky. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! Fuck em. <<76B7883B53B3B2110A00D082ECFCFC7F>]/Prev 777933>> 193 0 obj Then, as the controversy continues to heat up, he moves to his next level of complaint: POLITICIAN:THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. Read it first. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO 183 21 187 0 obj (LAUGHS). Maybe something else sucks around here. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Well, we know what they want. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. From Life Is Worth Losing. Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. But theres a reason. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means, continue to elect these rich cock suckers who dont give a fuck about you.they dont give a fuck about you they dont give a FUCK about you. There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". Ive read it dozens of times. They OWN YOU. You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. They own all the important land. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Fuck hope. And don't get me started on the selfies. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. 0000006309 00000 n
Nobody seems to care! Religion. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. The planet is fine. So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. Where you calling from today? "No child left behind. Not in the abstract they don't. 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' His satirical comments and relentless attacking a damaged system that unfairly trounced on the rights of its . He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. I dont vote. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. Not in the abstract they don't. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. Garbage out. Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. Difference. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> As I say, they're my work, they're my . I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. 191 0 obj x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq
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Retweets do count. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." It's clearly a padded list. They should be earned. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). CHALLENGES! 0000000716 00000 n
POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. George Carlin returns to the stage in Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theater in New York City for HBO. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> Michael Cooney was a speechwriter for @, George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999. http://www.ravendevelopers.com/blog/2013/0 Bernie Sanders: 'So the next time you hear me attacked as a socialist, remember this', Georgetown University - 2015, Jimmy Carter: 'The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! An INITIATIVE is an idea that isn't going anywhere! 203 0 obj George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. Its a big club, and. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: the public sucks, fuck hope. [FINAL NOTE: If you want to dig deeper into Carlins brilliant mind vis--vis comments on politicians and the doublespeak they are prone to use, check out The Consultation Institutes George Carlin on the language of politics. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. What's with all the selfies? 192 0 obj They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. (LAUGHS). George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. What? Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. 194 0 obj So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Everybody says they suck. They don't fall out of the sky. endobj They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Yeah, the public sucks! I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. Everybody's going to save something now. He missed this one. Been here four and a half billion years. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. It's like, 'Hey, look at me, I'm having a good time. POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. They don't get any real human contact. Yes, all the words are quite impolite. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Everybody complains about politicians. Its what our system produces. Well where do people think these politicians come from? Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc. It's just a curated version of ourselves that we want to present to the world. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. hb```b``na`
cc`ahd`phQD"#. -{- f1^u0`cp@&CUoM;v> You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. This is the best we can do folks. They own you. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. Fuck hope! But that would be much too direct! Updated on May 30, 2018. (LAUGHS). And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Complete biography of George Carlin .