I'd say we went at the same pace most relationships go at. My girl friend told me she would respect my boundaries and she clearly was not following through. SHARE. I struggle with self harm time to time. I told her it would be hard to mend a relationship with her ex and work on a new relationship with me at the same time. Dealing with her ex and helping her get over her was triggering in a lot of ways. :(, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. I knew there was a difference between wanting to be with someone and wanting to move on but still processing feelings and emotions. I lost a lot of friends this year due to my mental illnesses and making positive changes in my life. But I’ve seen it too many times over the last two decades that an ex who says they aren’t ready for a relationship with “anyone” starts dating someone new in just a couple of weeks. Advertisement. She refused to stop talking to her ex and wanted her in her life. The other day I found an article about how it is okay to miss your ex in order to move on or process your past.... and she said thank you... but even this made me feel horrible. She still had her number. This was the first time I connected to someone who also mutually connected to me. I was so incredibly sad and I felt my BPD triggered. I was trying to that she was trying.. this was hard for her too. What should I do if my girlfriend, who I feel strongly for, isn't over her ex? 95 COMMENTS. Hello I have a question, my girlfriend I had been in jail for over a year now. I was never in love with them truly. Do you know if she still speaks with him via facebook or email? I was not comfortable with this - and I told her if she wanted to mend the friendship with her ex, I could not date her. Yeah. Why The F*ck. I just don't know how much is too much and I wanted others' thoughts on the whole situation. One time a song came on in her car and she noticably became very sad. Posted Oct 18, 2013 . My [29M] ex girlfriend [23F] keeps spoiling Game of Thrones for me. Naked Girlfriend Photos See more: girlfriend’s naked body naked girlfriend naked girlfriend pics my ex girlfriend naked my naked girlfriend girlfriend… Even though I did not want to be their friends, I still saw them at college during the semester in passing sometimes. Yet, some wounds are … I've met the guy once, and she no longer sees him in person, but she is friends with him on Facebook. He would be bragging about his new lady. Get a haircut, and accept that your ex was a part of your life to help you grow as a person. I've met the guy once, and she no longer sees him in person, but she is friends with him on Facebook. But if he is happy and is over you, then he has no reason to try and make you feel jealous. Until then, you have no basis for any kind of decision. We are going to look at… *Signs your girlfriend isn’t over her ex. I think I want to give her more time. … March 18, 2016. We're both 21 and in school. Well, that didn't really happen. All my other relationships were one sided - the significant other always had stronger feelings than I had for them. But as a result, this has effected our relationship a lot. We also speak every day. Not only does he still talk about his ex, but everything he says about her sounds resentful — a huge sign that he’s not over the relationship! It was from her ex, I asked him to not message her and to respect our relationship. With Valentines Day just around the corner, we are featuring the Top 5 Craziest Ex Girlfriends You Won't Believe Exist! Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! 2)Your ex is trying to prove he or she is over you. I’m telling you this, not to alarm you but to prepare you. Probably a little too fast. When You See That Your Ex Is Dating Someone Ugly. Need help with your relationship? So as you can imagine, dating someone has been challenging for me in numerous ways. I wonder if somethign I do reminds my girl friend of her ex. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I am just really scared. Side note: I struggle with depression and a condition called Borderline Personality Disorder. 11. We were friends before we started dating. Here's how. Shortly after our fight, we remained friends and focused on our friendship. "If I had to pinpoint the moment I "fell out of love" with my ex-girlfriend, it would have to be when her dog got sick and I saw how she handles a real crisis for the first time. If You Want To Have A Good Time With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Not letting go of a former love may help us hold on to our loving selves. I want this to work and this is the realist relationship I ever had. My girlfriend IS cheating on me, STILL EVEN NOW. Seeing social media posts by them was hurtful. I empathathized in a way. She's not completely over her ex, ... Over the show's 10 seasons there are plenty of ups and downs ... —Question via Reddit, edited for length. r/exmormon: A forum for ex-mormons and others who have been affected by mormonism to share news, commentary, and comedy about the Mormon church. 7 Things Guys Do When They’re Not Over Their Exes. By Nikki Vee. Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex? She still has pictures of her in her childhood room from when they were friends. I can say pretty confidently that I'm not a rebound or anything; our relationship is genuine. If you notice that your partner seems to be exhibiting signs that your partner isn't over their ex, the first thing you should do is check in with yourself about the relationship, Vossenkemper said. She got out of a long term relationship with a dick about 12 months ago and we've been together for about 4 months now. I knew it would take time to get over her ex. She has been learning how to support me when I have a flare up, and she wants to be with me and support me - which is hard to me to believe. I knew it would take time to get over her ex. Since your ex cares about you, your ex is going to give away subtle signs of pretending to be over you whether he or she likes it or not. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Unfriend Her. How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible) Yes, you can do it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If the thought of your girlfriend wanting her ex nags you, use these 14 signs your girlfriend isn’t over her ex to decipher her thoughts. Read it over, accept that it wouldn't have worked out in the long run, throw that list away. I just don't know what to do. It might not mean that they're still in love with the ex, but it still might mean that they haven't gotten over them. I trust what she says, I just haven't spoken to her about it yet. I honestly thought that would be the end of things. I know I haven't asked a specific question here, reddit, but what are your thoughts on my situation? The more your ex tries to prove a point by defending himself or herself when others tease him or her, the bigger the sign your ex is not over … I felt lied to. One night after my girl friend stayed the night, she left her phone in my apartment. It only took a few days for my 'girlfriend' to come around and want to make things work. It might not mean that they're still in love with the ex, but it still might mean that they haven't gotten over them. It means you feel emotions more intensely. The Face You Make When Your Ex Text You. Probably a little too fast. It just feels horrible from time to time. I did not want to push her. https://www.developattraction.com/girlfriend-not-over-ex-boyfriend We needed to break up. Then of course, she told me her ex had reached out to her - wanting to mend their friendship. Also, aside from fixing a couple of errors, I also wanted to define what I mean by not being able to get over someone. We had this conversation several times about how it made me upset and how it was triggering to my mental well being... and ultimately how I could not handle my girlfriend continuing her relationship with her ex. You Tell Her It’s Over. I decided this was a sign. Somebody is willing to be with me and support my mental health - even when I may be difficult to deal with. Often, when someone is in the middle of the emotional turmoil following a breakup, every memory brings pain and it feels like the only option is to try to either totally forget about the other person or stop caring altogether and we call that 'getting over someone'. She KEEPS cheating on me! Your Crazy Ex Girlfriend. If your girlfriend is still talking to her ex that’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, if our girlfriend is still talking to her ex-boyfriend that is most likely going to brew up some trouble. Well recently someone left her a message after. What do I do? I know part of it is the BPD and my insecurities really coming in... or getting triggered. We both have strong feelings for each other, we miss each other if we go stretches of time without seeing each other etc. We haven't spoken about her feelings towards her ex since we started, but I have a feeling that they're still there. Do not trust someone who plays games with your head or heart. She said sorry and deleted everything to my face - her number, her social media... everything. She even wished her a Happ Thanksgiving - at that point, a text she sent her a few days before. The second sign your ex is merely pretending to be over you is when he or she goes the extra mile to prove so. I Know We Broke Up. In the end, dodging the ex drama is all about good old-fashioned communication, and it’s especially important when trying to determine if she’s over him or not. Your relationship should come first. This is my first serious relationship. I also knew sacrificing this relationship was a big deal for my girl friend. She started crying and begging me not to leave. This Is Why Your Ex Has Moved On And You're Still Not Over The Breakup. TWEET. I knew she still had unresolved feelings with her ex by the way she talked about this relationship. Story 1:My ex asking for another chance ....after she cheated and leftStory 2:My wife (32F) of 4 year cheated on me with her coworker. If you know she isn't completely over the ex, definitely proceed with caution for your sake and hers. I was trying to be fair. Sending Snapchats To My Ex Like. I know it wasn't the best idea. Press J to jump to the feed. Again, I was trying to be patient. That was hurtful to read, but I also knew this was a conversation in which she was angry.. and we just broke up. Jesus. more: The Top Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex So when you think about it, the harder your ex seems to be trying to move on, the more likely it is that he’s actually not over you – and that he actually has strong feelings for you. Alright to get ready to brace yourself for a very long post. 6. Like I am not good enough - another aspect I really struggle with. It only took a few days for my 'girlfriend' to come around and want to make things work. But it's too late now, I already made that decision, for better or worse. Hey Guys! We spend a lot of time together, I'd say 3-4 afternoons a week, and we always have a great time. I told her I needed space. It challenges me to deal my emotions in a healthy way. Face up to the pain. It means trouble dealing with intense emotions. Nothing kills the joy of a relationship like that nagging feeling that your boo still isn't totally over his or her ex. You have trouble trusting people - and most of the issues are revealed in relationships. Our relationship was a little rocky in the beginning. Let's just say both of our feelings got the best of us. My boundaries were crossed even after I communicated my needs. It means high levels of sensitivity. Our first date went really well. After a breakup, it can be excruciating to deal with all of this, but, before doing anything rash — like sliding into your ex's DMs — you should consider what's going on behind the scenes. If you want to get over him, get present to all the things that didn’t work in the relationship and get excited to discover all the great things a new relationship can bring into your life. She told me she would be willing to let go of her ex if that would make me happy. Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex? Even though this may have been an evasion of privacy, I did not regret it. I also knew getting rid of her on social media and getting rid of things like her number were things she needed to do on her own time. 1. Need help with your relationship? It is good in a way, because it has revealed aspects I would like to change about myself. Girlfriend isn't over her ex? I wonder if she runs into her ever and does not tell me. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. If you notice that your partner seems to be exhibiting signs that your partner isn't over their ex, the first thing you should do is check in with yourself about the relationship, Vossenkemper said. If your boyfriend, girlfriend, or ex is playing this game with you, get out. This was too much for me and I was very hurt. Eesh, going into this relationship knowing that she wasn't over him even after a year probably wasn't the best idea. The ex frequently tells people you want him back when it's so not true. We're both 21 and in school. According to Grant Brenner, a psychiatrist and co-author of Relationship Sanity: Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships, she can even feel like being close to you, emotionally and physically, is akin to cheating on her ex. You said that far nicer than I was about to. So, we basically got back together. I did not realize the extensive relationship and complication of the relationship she had with her ex. She tries ot make me happy and support me. You'll never know the truth until you talk to her. Write all the things that you didn't like about your ex. It's like living with phantom limb syndrome. It made me very uncomfortable. Watching who you spend time with, where you’re going in your free time, and how you’re holding on after the breakup are just a few signs of interests of a pretending ex-partner. Hilda Burke, a psychotherapist and couples counsellor shares her advice on how to get over a cheating ex once and for good. To put it simply, your partner's ex should not be their workout partner, movie buddy, or the person they go to sporting events with. She was the one to end their relationship, and he's still not over her. she come sup time to time, and I feel very insecure about it. July 3, 2014 by Jordan Gray 136 Comments Ex’s are ex’s for a reason right? Whoa there, buddy. So, we basically got back together. #1 She’s distant and confused. So we had a fight and broke up. Tips For Getting Over Your Ex; Share Tweet Flip. Press J to jump to the feed. If your partner gets emotional or upset when talking about their ex, or is still in regular contact with their ex, you might feel particularly triggered over this issue. Let's just say both of our feelings got the best of us. I need some advice or encouragement... none of that BS stuff. I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. So, that day we talked. Anyone would want the pain of that to stop. I have dreams about her leaving me sometimes. This allegedly happened to Blac Chyna, which is why she went off on Tyga via Snapchat. Her photograph still has pride of place on his wall. She told me she would be willing to let go of her ex if that would make me happy. It hurts to be in a breakup (as I’m sure you know). I did not want to be dating someone lying to me.... or struggling with something I was unaware of. Thanks reddit! I choose to believe that what I see in my ex's social media photos is not the whole truth. If the thought of your girlfriend wanting her ex nags you, use these 14 signs your girlfriend isn’t over her ex to decipher her thoughts. Hopefully better; she's a great girl. If something like this ever happened again - where she was talking to this girl or texting her or doing something and not telling me about it - that I was going to end things. Or, if she’s friends with the ex, simply ask her to respect your alone time, and reply to him later. I did not know how extensive her relationship with her ex was. I was trying to see people are not perfect. Why Playing Games Are Bad. I saw a hurtful conversation about how she would always choose her ex over me (from when we first had our initial fight). This makes me feel a bit confused, because I know where I am in terms of the relationship, but I really don't know where she's at. In a since-deleted post, one user wrote, “TL;DR: I cheated on my ex during our relationship and she found out shortly after we broke up. Shares. My Girlfriend’s Naked Body. It only took a few days for my 'girlfriend' to come around and want to make things work. Though often fun, love is not a game. I did not want to break up with her.. and I was giving her one more chance. It’ll definitely help you understand her mind better. Their relationship was more than a dating relationship. So you're dating a guy, let's call him Smeorge Shlooney, and everything is going great--except for one teeny, tiny, little hiccup: You're not always sure he's 100 percent over his ex. You build your ex up to an impossibly high standard in your mind that no man can measure up to, not even your ex himself! Not letting go of a former love may help us hold on to our loving selves. by David Braucher, L.C.S.W., Ph.D. I knew it would take time to get over her ex. When we first started talking, they both wrote each other off months before. I knew her last relationship was a bit rough, but I did not know the details of what that meant. When your girlfriend is still thinking about her ex, she won't be open to receiving affection from anyone else. Like I said something right from the beginning... but I feel like I can't trust her. Unfortunately, a big part of BPD is trust and feeling like everyone will abandon them. Posted Oct 18, 2013 . It’s not rude, it’s not passive-aggressive and it’s not a bad idea. #1 She’s distant and confused. You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks about a past girlfriend. 14 subtle signs your girlfriend is not over her ex yet! I told her I respected her needs and what she needed but I could not do this. I honestly don't know what it's like to be hung up over someone like that. i told her I looked in her phone. The odd and ironic thing is that playing this game could represent a mental health issue. Breakups can be tough, and often times the negative feelings that you and your ex might experience can last a while, as wounds can take time to heal. She got out of a long term relationship with a dick about 12 months ago and we've been together for about 4 months now. I’m Happy For Them. I would be lying to say this is something I don't struggle with. Since then we have moved forward a lot. Some days I feel great and other days I feel horrible. It challenges me to be stronger and continue working on communicating with my girlfriend. Your ex just wants it to be true. I feel so insecure. She warned me when we started this that she wasn't over him, we agreed to take it slow and I promised myself I'd be cautious with my emotions. According to experts, this is what regrets after a breakup might really mean. My healing process will speed up when I can accept my ex's current situation, no matter what it is. I know this is not a one sided relationship. Throw/hide everything that reminds you of your ex. Probably a little too fast. She gave me her passwords and permission to get pictures off of her social media accounts. If your EX girlfriend cheated on you, then this article was not for you, and you instead need my article on how to get your ex back. Some honest advice. Let's just say both of our feelings got the best of us. They were also best friends several years before dating, and I know the boundary between friend and couple was blurry and she did not process anything yet. It makes me feel unimportant. Things were going pretty well. So, we basically got back together. She’s blocked me on everything, but briefly unblocks me every Monday to send me Game of Thrones spoilers before I can [watch] it. TWEET. He brings her name up in conversation just a little too often for your liking. We ended up having breakfast the next day. She doesn't still speak with him, aside from occasional casual comments on Facebook. I was struggling with trust, and I happened to see if she talked to her ex in her phone. It’ll definitely help you understand her mind better. It’s likely your ex meant what they said, but meant it … This Is My Ex . Yes, it's the dreaded ex-girlfriend. At one point her ex even lashed out at her and empathized for what I must be feeling. So, we started dating again. We have only been dating for three months, but she is putting in effort. I realize relationships are really hard and some struggles take time. EMAIL. What really upset me, was there was conversation after this... in which she lied to me. She was still friends on Facebook with her... but I knew they were not actively talking. She told me she would be willing to let go of her ex if that would make me happy. I AGAIN told her how this was it. Your Reaction. I don't want to break up but I am constantly thinking about her ex. Basically, this is a disorder in which you have trouble processing your emotions. SHARE. Just because of the way things ended it was uncomfortable. Anyway, in the very beginning of our relationship, we broke up. 14 subtle signs your girlfriend is not over her ex yet! EMAIL. 0. If your ex was not yet over you, then he might be trying to make you jealous by showing off his new girlfriend all over social media. It hurts to think about your ex. Stretches of time without seeing each other off months before truth until you talk her! Knew she still had unresolved feelings with her... but I did not realize the relationship... Giving her one more chance however, if our girlfriend is still thinking about her feelings towards her ex definitely! Deal with ex ’ s for a very long post my needs up but I did girlfriend not over ex reddit know much. One time a song came on in her life runs into her ever and does not me. To make things work of your life to help it only took a few days for my 'girlfriend ' come. Difference between wanting to mend their friendship then, you can imagine, dating has! 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