Introverts, highly sensitive people and those with avoidant attachment styles love personal space. We feel depleted, anxious and even irritated without it.
I miss people
Covid 19 has left most of us craving time to ourselves, craving other’s company or both. I wrote previously about how the pandemic has shown me how much I truly do need/want interaction. I missed my job and coworkers when quarantined at home at the beginning of the virus’ reign. Working and being with many different people lets us see ourselves from various angles, which builds our self-worth and gives us varied perspective.
I will admit, there are times when it feels like vacation with my family because our schedules are more open and that allows for relaxing activities together. This is not draining. This is the high quality connection time that lights me up.
Personal space rejuvenates
Now, I am going to talk about how the pandemic has increased my desire to be alone. The actor and podcaster, Dax Shepard, mentioned the other day in a podcast interview how Covid has eliminated our personal space. He said he definitely needs that space and feels depleted without it. That sentiment really rang true for me.
Since Covid 19 entered our lives, we spend a lot of time at home with family or roommates every day. Our daily commute is gone because we work from home. Our flights alone do not happen anymore. We are rarely alone if we live with others. Six feet apart is not enough.
I miss alone time
I have had children, my husband and occasionally other people’s children at our home 24/7 since March. In 2020, I could count the number of hours by myself in my house on one hand. Over the years, I have grown to enjoy togetherness more and more but I was actually excited for my husband’s triple bypass surgery because it meant a few nights to myself. That’s how desperate I am for a little solitude. As it turned out, I only had one night to myself.
I love my family and I need time without them. Being attuned to everyone’s emotions and needs is vital to me but at the same time draining. When surrounded by others, it is difficult to avoid the feeling that we should do something, particularly something practical or helpful.
I feel depleted when there is no space for me to sprawl out in my bad habits and imperfect attunement. We all need space to make choices and do things that are not about pleasing others. We crave space where there is no pressure to perform. No interruptions. We get to shed our roles and exist solely as ourselves.
What is your pandemic experience with personal space and/or loneliness?
If you feel overwhelmed with togetherness and miss your personal space, sign up for a one-on-one coaching session and we can talk about it. Surprisingly, talking about needing to be alone with someone who understands that need, makes us feel energized (as if we actually experienced alone time).