The pleasure, pain and growth of human connection.

What the Heck Does Secure Attachment Look Like?

By |2019-09-29T16:07:28-05:00September 27th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I've talked at great length about what insecure attachment in relationships looks like. Check out these posts if you need a reminder: This Is Not What I Expected, but That's OK: Reversing Our Insecure Attachment Stories Creating Relationship Security When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather [...]

Coping Mechanisms: Useful or Not Useful?

By |2019-09-18T17:13:45-05:00September 20th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

When we struggle, we make adaptations to our personalities and our behavior to get through the discomfort. I've previously written about coping strategies. They generally develop because we need more attention or less pain from our primary caregivers and family members. We may learn to be a people-pleaser or extra nice so as not to upset [...]

Pause When Aggravated

By |2019-09-13T06:37:09-05:00September 13th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

I've been working on defining the difference between expressing my feelings and dumping criticism and aggravation on someone. Mostly, this happens in exchanges with my husband. Often I believe I am expressing my emotions (something I've read over and over is a healthy thing) and he feels like I am attacking him. I have not mastered [...]

Update: New Job a New Way to Self-Regulate

By |2019-09-07T11:01:04-05:00September 6th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|

I apologize for being hit or miss with my post delivery lately. Those of you subscribed to the blog may have noticed you did not receive a new post last week. I have had technical difficulties with publicizing my writing this whole year. It has been highly frustrating. No one seems to know how to [...]

Will Ferrell, Teams, Discipline and Security

By |2019-09-04T07:52:27-05:00August 30th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Podcast, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I recently listened to an interview with comedian actor Will Ferrell on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm a fan of this podcast. Will Ferrell talked about how he grew up in a divorced household. His parents split up when he was eight. Will was quite the athlete as a [...]

Reclaiming Your Space and Loving Yourself

By |2019-08-25T16:01:49-05:00August 23rd, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

It all came to a head this morning when I noticed Mark had put two more bottles of shampoo and facial cleanser on our bathroom shelf. Space on this shelf is limited. There really is not room for all of the bottles on there now. I had an instant reaction of anger. I felt like my [...]

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Testimonials

I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
J.K.
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Niko

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