woman independent

It is time for me to admit I may not write a post every week. There are a variety of reasons: 1. I work full time as a paraprofessional at a high school. 2. My children are all home because of Covid 19, so food shopping and preparing have reached an all-time high. Yes, they should all chip in and help with that. No, I have not pushed that agenda. The scheduling daunts me. 3. I have been doing this for almost ten years. It might be time for something new to occupy my creative/work space. 4. I don’t want to. Once I am at the keyboard typing, I am happy and in my element. Prior to that, I just want to sit down, read, cook and enjoy my family.

New format?

I have not decided if/when the posts will stop. Just consider yourselves forewarned the post publishing may be fewer and farther between. I am considering changing the format of my writing. Perhaps, I will mention a topic that intrigues me, give my opinion/perspective and then let you, the readers, ponder it. This is what I do normally, but in a more brief format.

It will look like this:

As I read, Glennon Doyle’s latest book, Untamed, I am set on fire. Her words bring on a big bright light of resonance. One of her more majestic and spot on quotes is, “A woman isn’t allowed to do well unless she also does good, so I became a do-gooder for the world.”

Woman guilt

I have always felt this. The only way I could do something that propelled my own success, was if I was the perfect mother first and my successful endeavor was downright noble. I have to do good for everyone else before I can do well for myself. I can’t even workout in the morning without promising I’ll empty the dishes in the sink right afterward. As I write this, I keep track of the time because I need to start dinner soon for the family.

Recently, I’ve been contemplating a career change. Should I go back to school? Should I work for the government? How can I travel and work? All of these questions are preceded by the question, how will it affect my children and husband?

Taking care of others is always good

I’ve decided I would like to make more money and have have caregiving be less of a factor in my job description. The problem is most of my most recent and relevant experience involves caregiving — stay at home mom, guardian ad litem, relationship coach, special education paraprofessional. I gave up my corporate jobs to raise a family. I did this absolutely enthusiastically, but it pulled me off of the high paying career ladder.

Today my thoughts went to being an autism spectrum disorder specialist. I have a genuine interest, don’t get me wrong, but it also is the perfect combination. I could earn a respectable salary and serve others (doing good). I’m successful AND saintly.

Do you feel the need to be the do-gooder to justify your success? Do you feel guilty as a woman, if you simply do well for yourself? Do men have the same pressure?