I began a conscious love affair with solitude five years ago. I've been apologizing for it ever since. I wrote the notes for this post on the backside of a final letter from my ex-husband. A letter I found in a bedside drawer as I searched for a blank piece of paper to capture my early [...]
My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude. — Warsan Shire The delicious experiencing of our thoughts is so nourishing it is hard to leave that space. Lovers may entice, cajole, and whimper but still we are drawn to the space of solitude. The space where we are content and [...]
Will I always feel a pang of guilt about loving time alone to work and write? Is it possible the best gift I can offer the world lies outside my role as a mother? Baby-sitters allowed me to preserve my sanity, to the extent that I have it. I always had at least three hours [...]
When was the first time you made love? The last time? I was in my 40s before I really made love. What took me so long? Why didn't I experience that heavenly closeness and soulmate sanctity before my fourth decade? Because making love involves emotional AND physical intimacy. I never truly felt safe or in love [...]
I learned early that blushing, slow responses and tentative answers would always be out-shined and outgunned by the gregarious and confident. I learned to compensate for my lack of brashness by pleasing others and graciously cooperating. As a teen, I pretended to not be disappointed when the sleepover for two became a slumber party for six. I [...]
I swung futilely and vulnerably at the serves my then lover gunned at me from the other side of the net. We had walked to the local courts to play tennis. I had taken a few lessons years before and played casually at best. He grew up playing and had been on a high school team. He [...]
