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I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …

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Three Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety All by Yourself

Photo by Martin Kníže on Unsplash

It’s summer and we’re all trying to enjoy it. Unfortunately, for some of us summer is a time of higher anxiety. Our routines go out the window. Children are home every day. The nice weather, although lovely, pressures us to go outside, get active and socialize with others.

The things that ground us and make us feel safe — structured days, time alone, ability to hunker down at home — do not dominate in the summer.

I understand this love/hate regard for June through August. To help us all relax and thrive during the warm weather, I am going to share three tips that absolutely reduce stress levels. I use all of them and they work!

3 Tips to Reduce Anxiety

  1. Singing: According to Dr. Stephen Porges, long exhalations promote calmness and short exhalations support anxiety. Singing with its drawn out lyrics, requires us to naturally extend our exhalation as we fit all the words of a verse or line into it. Get in your car, roll down the windows, turn on the radio and sing your heart out. Your nervous system loves it.
  2. Remove low-frequency sounds from your environment: Our nervous system feels low-frequency sounds such as escalators, noisy HVAC systems, crowded lunch rooms, construction noise, etc. as threatening. Such sounds keep our nervous system on alert, particularly if we have had trauma in our past.

    Photo by nicolas leclercq on Unsplash

    The quieter and more pleasant the sounds in our environment, the easier it is to relax. An example of a pleasing, physiologically soothing sound, is music with melodic, prosodic vocals. Prosody is the intonation in voice that conveys emotion. Female vocals often offer prosody. If you can’t escape low-frequency sounds, consider playing soft music to muffle them. Carpeting and wall hangings help absorb sound. Summer heat gives us an excuse to turn on the AC, close windows and shut out jarring sounds, such as traffic too.

  3. Write down all of your worries: Get out a piece of paper and actually physically write down what is keeping you up at night. Write everything without censoring or grammar concerns. It is OK if your handwriting is atrocious. It does not matter. This is for you only. It is best to do this before bedtime. Our brains are naturally inclined to want to help us remember everything, especially the things it perceives as threats to our existence. If we put our worries down on paper, that frees up our brains for rest, creativity or other less threatening thoughts.

I hope these tips help you feel less stimulated and more at ease so you can soak up the sun and find joy in your summer.

How do you keep your summer light and enjoyable? What about summer works well with your nervous system? 


Two other ways to find calm and contentment this summer:

The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World and a luxurious box of gifts from The Wallflower Box. Both created especially for sensitive people. Click on each image to learn more.



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