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your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Niko
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman

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Three Quick Ways to Reduce Anxiety All by Yourself

Photo by Martin Kníže on Unsplash

It’s summer and we’re all trying to enjoy it. Unfortunately, for some of us summer is a time of higher anxiety. Our routines go out the window. Children are home every day. The nice weather, although lovely, pressures us to go outside, get active and socialize with others.

The things that ground us and make us feel safe — structured days, time alone, ability to hunker down at home — do not dominate in the summer.

I understand this love/hate regard for June through August. To help us all relax and thrive during the warm weather, I am going to share three tips that absolutely reduce stress levels. I use all of them and they work!

3 Tips to Reduce Anxiety

  1. Singing: According to Dr. Stephen Porges, long exhalations promote calmness and short exhalations support anxiety. Singing with its drawn out lyrics, requires us to naturally extend our exhalation as we fit all the words of a verse or line into it. Get in your car, roll down the windows, turn on the radio and sing your heart out. Your nervous system loves it.
  2. Remove low-frequency sounds from your environment: Our nervous system feels low-frequency sounds such as escalators, noisy HVAC systems, crowded lunch rooms, construction noise, etc. as threatening. Such sounds keep our nervous system on alert, particularly if we have had trauma in our past.

    Photo by nicolas leclercq on Unsplash

    The quieter and more pleasant the sounds in our environment, the easier it is to relax. An example of a pleasing, physiologically soothing sound, is music with melodic, prosodic vocals. Prosody is the intonation in voice that conveys emotion. Female vocals often offer prosody. If you can’t escape low-frequency sounds, consider playing soft music to muffle them. Carpeting and wall hangings help absorb sound. Summer heat gives us an excuse to turn on the AC, close windows and shut out jarring sounds, such as traffic too.

  3. Write down all of your worries: Get out a piece of paper and actually physically write down what is keeping you up at night. Write everything without censoring or grammar concerns. It is OK if your handwriting is atrocious. It does not matter. This is for you only. It is best to do this before bedtime. Our brains are naturally inclined to want to help us remember everything, especially the things it perceives as threats to our existence. If we put our worries down on paper, that frees up our brains for rest, creativity or other less threatening thoughts.

I hope these tips help you feel less stimulated and more at ease so you can soak up the sun and find joy in your summer.

How do you keep your summer light and enjoyable? What about summer works well with your nervous system? 

 

Two other ways to find calm and contentment this summer:

The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World and a luxurious box of gifts from The Wallflower Box. Both created especially for sensitive people. Click on each image to learn more.

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