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BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Niko
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.

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Think You're Wise? Definition of Wisdom from Deepak Chopra and a Man Named Snake

He sits on a bench down by the lake and offers wisdom for 25 cents. He is not getting rich off this undertaking but men’s coach and pioneer of The Mankind Project, Craig Bloomstrand (aka Snake), enjoys wisdom benchconnecting with others.

His definition of wisdom?

Learning from experience and using that knowledge to shape the future for the good of all.

According to Snake, the key portion of that definition is, for the good of all. Without it it’s just knowledge — and knowledge is everywhere. Google and Wikipedia are full of knowledge.

Do you really think that’s wise? 

For a long time I gathered knowledge. I studied diligently in school. I listened intently to those who spoke of worldly matters like corporate strategies, politics and financials. I read extensively. I learned how to play the role of wife and mother. I gained knowledge  and experience but quite often I felt empty.

Valuing the real you

The question, What am I good at?, appeared like a bat signal in my mind (sadly ending in a preposition;) as my pile of experiences created an existence where I felt weak and undervalued. I had built a life based on competition, family first and measured intelligence. Enjoying and excelling at all of those is our culture’s ideal. My real self is sensitive, solitude-craving and more comfortable with feelings and intuition than data recollection. Our culture says, Good luck with those traits chump. You won’t make any money and your voice will be drowned out by the more resistant and logical.thumbsup

I’ve witnessed kids and adults struggle to measure up to our culture’s ideal. I know kids who think they are broken because they don’t fit in at public schools. I know adults who walk a fine line between exhausted and depressed because they constantly go against their true nature.

Introverts who process deeply and require low stimulation in order to recharge, often feel ashamed that they can’t keep up with their Energizer-bunny contemporaries. We push ourselves to be gregarious movers and shakers or we honor our personalities and stay more in the shadows. The former is unnatural (but we do it for core personal projects or missions), the latter, counter-cultural.

So great, I have self-awareness and knowledge of the introvert experience but something is still missing.

Simple guidance from Deepak Chopra

deepakWell known spiritual author and alternative medicine practitioner, Deepak Chopra, told his own children to figure out what their unique talent is and use it to benefit humanity. That’s it. That’s all they needed to do in order to be successful.

My big picture brain loves the simplicity of those guidelines. That’s my kind of wisdom.

I believe the pursuit of knowledge and your unique gift is a lifelong process. We will never have all the answers. In fact, the most wise souls recognize that I don’t know is often the most true and correct answer. No matter, use your not-totally-perfected gift and not-yet-complete book of knowledge to benefit humanity anyway. This is what we are meant to do.

What do you have to offer? Where do you excel?

Over the last five or six years I have deeply examined the knowledge and experiences I have gathered. I’ve wondered about their purpose. Wondered about my purpose.

I have a deep interest in championing others, especially the perceived underdog. Introverts often feel like underdogs. I see potential in others and underdoghelp them see it too. I recently pointed out to a friend that he would be great in local government. The idea had been tickling the back of his mind for a while but he didn’t feel comfortable bringing it to the forefront. Most of us need other’s affirmation in order to sincerely believe in our competence. I use intuition to ferret out other’s strengths.

I strive to be non-judgmental. I have spent years living, loving and working with people with dramatically different temperaments than my own. I have learned through mistakes, loss and perseverance to appreciate personality differences. I want to help others build healthy and fulfilling relationships by doing the same.

I’m certain the reason I love Snake’s definition of wisdom is because it includes for the good of all. Because I naturally seek harmony, for the good of all is home to me. It’s where I excel. Do you?

What do you have to offer? Do you ever feel your gifts are undervalued? Do you value emotional intelligence as much as intellectual intelligence?

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5 Comments

  1. scott_elumn8 January 23, 2014 at 10:11 pm - Reply

    That last sentence…”for the good of all is home to me” made the little voice in my head say… “yes”. I love that message. Just imagine the possibilities.

  2. Ruth Rainwater January 17, 2014 at 3:32 pm - Reply

    For the good of all seems too big a thing for me to wrap my mind around, so I will settle for the good of a few, who might spread the good, thus making it ultimately for the good of all.

    • Brenda Knowles January 18, 2014 at 8:18 am - Reply

      Good point Ruth. ALL could be overwhelming. A meaningful and/or pivotal few could be just right.:)

  3. Julie Bond Genovese January 17, 2014 at 3:16 pm - Reply

    Hee hee! “Our culture says, Good luck with those traits chump. You won’t make any money and your voice will be drowned out by the more resistant and logical.” I so relate and the whole piece was beautifully expressed <3 Thanks for the affirmation Brenda!

    • Brenda Knowles January 18, 2014 at 8:16 am - Reply

      Not that there is anything wrong with being resistant and logical.;) Glad you enjoyed the post Julie.

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