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“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
J.K.
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB

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Dislocation and Addiction

By | 2019-05-30T13:06:25-05:00 May 31st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

The precursor to addiction is dislocation. — Bruce Alexander Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Simon Fraser University. In the quote above, dislocation is taken to mean the loss of psychological, social, and economic integration into family and culture — a sense of exclusion, isolation and powerlessness. In the much quoted book on addiction, "In the Realm [...]

Collecting Our Children and Partners: 4 Ways to Regain Connection

By | 2019-04-23T15:47:35-05:00 April 26th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

At the top of our agenda we must place the task of collecting our children — of drawing them under our wing, making them want to belong to us and with us.  — Gordon Neufeld, Hold On to Your Kids In our busy culture of independence, it is easy to lose connection with our kids and [...]

Why We Find More Happiness After Age 50: The Struggles of Our 40s and the Contentment of Our 50s

By | 2019-03-15T15:09:45-05:00 March 15th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Personal Coaching, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I turn 49 tomorrow. According to author Jonathon Rauch (The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50), I'm at the bottom of the happiness curve, but things will be on the upswing very soon. He says our 40s are the bottom of the joy trough. Our values change in our 50s to create upward momentum. [...]

Using Values to Rise Above Heavy Emotions and Take Action

By | 2019-02-28T14:01:20-05:00 March 1st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

We've talked about how our deepest voids lead us to our deepest values. In this post, I want to show how our deepest emotions are also signposts to our deepest values. Think about when you find yourself feeling the most sad, mad or enthusiastic. What is going on? Harvard Medical School psychologist and author of Emotional [...]

How to Strengthen Connection Within a Relationship: Online Course Open Now!

By | 2019-02-10T13:12:50-05:00 February 8th, 2019|Categories: Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Well Gang, my first online course is finally finished! It's titled: How to Strengthen Connection Within a Relationship: Increasing Safety and Security to Create Closeness. I wanted to share it FIRST with you, my faithful readers. Please check it out. There are two lectures available as free previews, including the intro/overview. The lecture on receptivity is [...]

How to Stop Criticizing and Increase the Safety in Your Relationship

By | 2019-06-14T13:39:48-05:00 February 1st, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Safety breeds presence and presence breeds safety. — Harville Hendrix author of Getting the Love You Want I've come to realize, in my efforts to be helpful and efficient, I've put off my fiancé Mark a little. I've worked hard to build a repertoire of knowledge in several areas such as physical health, relationship dynamics, household [...]