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Testimonials

Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
J.K.
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo

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Three Questions to Smooth Out Conflict and Increase Understanding

By | 2019-02-15T11:08:32-05:00 February 15th, 2019|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

One of the most useful things I've learned over the last few years is that it is better to aim for understanding versus winning when it comes to disagreements with the ones we love. For many years — including those competing with my sister for attention and respect and those competing with my ex-husband for most [...]

Reducing Reactivity: Soothing the Sensitive Person

By | 2018-11-09T09:47:07-05:00 November 9th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Some of us have been primed for high reactivity. Our early caregivers or past relationships did not provide consistent comforting and nurturing, so our nervous systems developed a sensitivity to possible abandonment. We tend to react strongly if we feel at all threatened. Sometimes these strong reactions lead to self-fulfilling prophesies. The more we react, the [...]

Does Your Partner Accept Your Influence? The Importance of Sharing Decision-Making in a Relationship

By | 2018-10-31T11:59:21-05:00 November 2nd, 2018|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I recently figured out one of the striking blows that destroyed my marriage. During the last five years of our marriage, I did not feel like my words or actions were given any credence in conversations, problem-solving or decision-making. My husband did not accept my influence. I hope by casting light on this common issue, someone [...]

How to Avoid Contempt and Keep Your Relationship Safe

By | 2018-09-19T14:04:03-05:00 July 6th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Tina Fey eye roll I learned about the direness of contempt years ago when my marriage was ending and I happened to read Malcolm Gladwell's noted book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. In the book, Gladwell speaks with Dr. John Gottman — marriage expert and scientist. Based on years of studying married [...]

Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather Than Away

By | 2018-12-13T10:43:06-05:00 June 22nd, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash Our basic attachment styles form during childhood. I've written about attachment styles in several articles on brendaknowles.com's blog, space2live, but I'll summarize the different styles to refresh your memory. The most ideal style is secure. A secure attachment arises when we know we can count on our primary [...]

Walking on Eggshells: The Relationship Hazard of Being Too Careful

By | 2018-05-08T12:19:28-05:00 May 4th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Processing Divorce, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Photo via Pixabay Do you and your partner never fight but never connect intimately either? Do you feel like you give and give but don't get much in return? Do you constantly worry about upsetting your partner? If you feel like it is extremely important to keep the peace at home, it is possible [...]