I’m reading Anthony Bourdain’s book, Kitchen Confidential, and finding myself within the pages. For those of you who don’t know anything about Bourdain, he is a traveling TV star, author and chef who describes his young self as a thrill-seeking pleasure hungry sensualist. He rose to international recognition as the author of the book (Kitchen Confidential) that exposed the underbelly of the restaurant world. A culinary institute graduate and formidable cuisine master himself, he has working knowledge of the industry having served as lowly dishwasher, celebrated chef and everything in between. He currently has the badass show on CNN called Parts Unknown where he travels all over the world invading the politics, pleasures, people and of course, food, of each location.
I find him absolutely f*cking fascinating. He teases out my inner bad girl and encourages my sensation seeking self.
I have a natural inclination toward sensuality. As I mentioned in the very first post on space2live, House Plants and Motorcycles, I have two sides. The dreamy still side that can sit for hours immersed in music, literature and the words of my loved ones and the sensation seeking side that longs for novelty, distant traveling and late night debauchery.
According to Anthony Bourdain, cooks and chefs get a lot of sex. They’re like randy pirates preparing your food with sharp knives and flavor-packed obscenities, screwing cocktail waitresses and the occasional wayward customer.
I can see why the kitchen crew is so hot. Food is sensual. Eating is sensual. Creating meals is an art. Artists are notoriously in demand when it comes to sexual partners. Why? Because they are creative, spontaneous, sensitive.
I love sex. I love it for its sensuality and intimate connecting. I love it because I’m sensual, not slutty. I’m a lady and oh-so-discriminating when it comes to partner selection but when I’m in a relationship with a man I trust intimately, I enjoy a good romp. I enjoy beautiful lovemaking more, but a romp is nice.
To be totally honest, I Iove kissing and sexual tension as much as going all the way. I can usually tell if a man will be a good kisser by the way he holds my hand. There’s an art to caressing a woman’s hand. It is simultaneously gentle, manly and erotic. I don’t think it can be taught.There’s a way to artfully kiss as well — hint: slow down sailor.
Those of you who follow space2live regularly, know I am in the middle of a self-imposed No Serious Dating stint (minimum 3 months). I’m learning to be my own amazing boyfriend by treating myself to incredible experiences. One of the first experiences I set up for my pleasure was attending a Counting Crows concert. I asked a friend to go with me. This friend happens to be a man I dated for a while. We’ve remained in each others’ corners despite our inability to make it as a couple. I can only speak from my perspective, but whenever Dan* and I get together I feel palpable sexual tension. We know we are not meant to be together but still there is something exciting about mixing our pheromones. Add that to the band’s vulnerable vocals and grinding guitar and you have electricity, an energy filled vibe that feels very alive.
Dan* let me know early on that he is seeing someone, so despite the crackling atmosphere, we behaved ourselves and had a rich, sensual evening. My No Serious Dating pledge left intact.
Yes, you guessed it. Line cooks and kitchen staff do a fair share of drugs too, according to Bourdain. Drugs are a part of the culture. If you haven’t figured it out, people who work behind the scenes in restaurants have a zest
different from the sauce-on-the-siders and lactose intolerants they serve. Most of them choose the profession because they don’t like the spotlight and are only quasi-into people. They want to create good food and work with those like themselves (don’t we all?).They may not fit in all that well outside the kitchen’s swinging door.
I’ve tried pot (several times) and drank until my insides involuntarily turned inside out. Neither of which, do I ever really need to do again, but I’ll never say never. I’ve passed up opportunities to do more intense drugs. The risks far outweighing the benefits in my eyes.
The truth is I walk around feeling high most days. It’s one of the gifts of being sensitive and feeling everything deeply. The good stuff feels as extraordinary as the bad stuff feels heavy.
I remember one time walking down to the lake to go kayaking after taking a couple of hits of pot. The tree leaves seemed a little more vivid but other than that I was calm and walking on air because of the amazing man accompanying me and the beautiful experience of being immersed in nature. One cool thing to note about that kayaking jaunt… we saw a bald eagle up close. I stared at it for fifteen minutes as it sat on its nest. That’s a long time to stare and it could have been that I was stoned, but honestly I think it was just my sincere ability to concentrate and my intense pleasure in observing something so rare.
And sushi rolls
Food had power. It could inspire, astonish, shock, excite, delight and impress. It had the power to please me… and others. — Anthony Bourdain
It wasn’t sushi but it was Soupe au Pistou, served on a beautiful summer evening. My friend with magnificent culinary instincts, created the most flavorful meal for us. He simmered the soup in the kitchen until the fragrance reached the front door, hitting my senses immediately when I arrived. He drizzled rice wine vinegar over the salad and then massaged the avocado, tomato, spinach and vinegar together. There was crisp white wine, whole grain peasant bread and sunshine in a bowl. We slowly savored all of his efforts as we engaged with each other on the deck romantically be-decked with twinkly white lights.
A most sensual experience. Like being on vacation — senses alive, heart and mind open to taste everything.
Sensual or self-absorbed?
Self-absorbed? Maybe, but crazy amazing. I can take something ordinary and make myself feel intensely extraordinary. I can take that enchanting awareness and affect others. I want others to experience the same high so I share my stories, my recipes for openness. I am so grateful for my sensitivity and the delicious experiences it creates. Please take note of and savor yours.
What turns you on about your introversion and/or sensitivity? Where have you found intense pleasure?
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