It is often said you have to let go of something old to make space for something new. There is also the old adage about every ending being a new beginning. I’ve experienced both in the last six months.
Spirituality means connection, oneness and love
I ended a long-term relationship in the spring. I did not want to rush into another relationship to fill the void. Instead, I felt a pull toward a healing, spiritual community. I needed a support system and couldn’t go back to feeling adrift. Sure, I have friends in the area. Sure, I have a loving extended family. The problem is that it is difficult to be with those special people regularly. They are all busy or live far enough away to make it difficult to get together. Phone calls are great but I needed close and consistent in-person contact. I wanted to belong to something. Joining a spiritual community with an activities calendar and actual brick and mortar building, seemed like a good idea.
My religious beliefs are wildly open-ended. The ‘church’ I chose to attend is “…intentionally inclusive and welcomes all people of good will.” Me too. I want to meet and learn from all kinds of people as long as they are kind and respectful of others.
Spirituality means connection, oneness and love, to me. You can be connected to yourself, nature, a community, music or just about anything else and I’d consider it a spiritual experience.
From the first service I attended at the church, I felt at home with the people, music, messages and setting. My shoulders relaxed and my breath deepened during that service. Since then I’ve met many sweet, openhearted people. Many of them slightly older than me. It feels really good to be surrounded by them. Subconsciously, I was looking for a family, in particular, wise loving women. The hole the loss of my mom created a little over a year ago, has remained achingly open until more recently. The beautifully gentle and courageous women of my church provide the wonderful nurturing atmosphere I desire.
Whoa, introvert energy check
In true expressive introvert (INFJ) fashion, I dove in and signed up for all kinds of ways to be involved. I volunteered to help with a memorial service. I attended a women’s retreat (heavenly) over a weekend. I ushered for a service. I’m going to be a greeter for a service in November. I really want to give back to this community. It feels so good to be a part of something, to know I can count on the community to be there every week if I choose to participate.
I will say my introverted nature has registered a bit of fatigue from all of the participating. In true solitude-loving introvert fashion, I’ve put a moratorium on anymore volunteering until I’ve completed the duties I’ve already signed up for.
How can I get involved in education?
Feeling financial pressure at the end of the summer, I began to peruse job listings. My coaching practice continues to grow and thrive, but it is still young and only beginning to create substantial income.
Knowing I love learning, teachers, flexible hours and helping people, I considered a part time job in the school system. My children all attend the local public schools. It would be ideal to work the same hours and have the same breaks as my kids. Growing up, my mom was a pre-school teacher. She was always home when we were or soon after. I applied for a substitute para-professional position within my kids’ school system. I interviewed and was hired to work as a substitute special education para-professional.
The role of the para-professional (para or para pro for short) is to be extra eyes and hands in the classroom in addition to a teacher. As a special ed. para I work with one to three kids in a classroom. I help them focus on their schoolwork and keep their behavior in check. This week I went on a first grade field trip to a farm. I learned where sorghum comes from and what we do with it (make molasses). This kind of knowledge is just one perk of the job.
Since September, I have worked one to four days a week in the schools. I have worked at the elementary, middle and high school levels with around twenty different kids. I’ve found the most pleasure at the elementary and high school levels. The little kids are so sweet and innocent. The big kids are mature and interesting. Middle schoolers are amazing too but, in my experience, a bit more challenging.
Hugs, happiness and sorghum, perks of the job
One of the best experiences was the hug and smile I received from one little eight year old when he recognized me from the last time we worked together. Heart melted. Another one was sitting in on a creative writing class at the high school. I got to hear the students read their original stories and receive feedback. Big kudos to the teacher for keeping it creative, beneficial and positive. It was incredible to see the kids so engaged and HAPPY!
I enjoy being part of the education system. I enjoy seeing how schools run. It’s intriguing to me how stimulating they feel despite a huge effort on the teachers’ and administration’s part to have a calm environment. I feel technology drives the pace and atmosphere but that’s a whole other post. Productivity and a packed curriculum also affect the overall activity level. It is sometimes hard for my brain to keep up and I wonder about the children’s brains and overall well-being.
There are two schools where I work more often. They are close to my home and I enjoy the kids and staff. Because I am there more often, the people and routines have become familiar. I get recognized in the hall and addressed by name. I enjoy that tremendously. I feel like a member of the communities at these schools. It’s wonderful.
That said, I also love leaving the schools at the end of the day and not taking work home with me. When working on my own business, it is on my mind 24/7.
Good trade
The end of my romantic relationship gave me clearer vision. It helped me see what I was looking for and what I wasn’t.
Mostly, I traded conflict for compassion. This alone, boosted my spirit astronomically.
As an introvert and sensitive person, the trade, even though it now involves lots of activity and people, was what I needed. I feel light and peaceful. I feel at home. I belong to something bigger than me.
Has loss ever made room for something better for you? What communities do you belong to? Which ones fulfill you? What could you trade for something more fulfilling?
Are you looking to renew in a different community or environment? Do you need to make a trade? I’d love to work with you on your upgrade. Contact me for personal coaching.
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