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This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman

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Need Revitalizing? The Energy of Meaningful and the Power of Deadlines

bright pink flower

The past couple of months, I scheduled the hell out of myself. And it was OK. I managed just fine. I didn’t lose it. I didn’t get sick. I didn’t have anxiety attacks.

Actually, I feel energized.

Over the last few days, I took time to reflect on why I’m juggling so well this year, when in years past I’ve struggled. I’m still doing all the holiday planning and preparations myself. I’m still celebrating all of my kids’ birthdays. Still writing posts for space2live. Still working as a personal/relationship coach. Still running a household.

In fact, I’ve added new projects and people to my calendar and life. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I now work as a substitute paraprofessional in the local school system. I’ve also been active within my spiritual community, including participating in the holiday play. I took two trips in November, created a proposal and negotiated a contract with a publisher to write a book. I even managed to squeeze in a meaningful relationship with a special man.

Normally, all of that activity would have overwhelmed me, but the sense of purpose and meaningful relationships woven into the above, give me the desire and energy to keep going. Having actual deadlines and little wiggle room also helps.

Understanding and perspective provide that meaningful boost

I can’t tell you how much insight and understanding revitalize me. Which is why I love reading. Reading is really a search for resonance, knowledge or ideas. Reading feeds my curiosity, as do places and people. In a way, I create relationships with books, places and people. I create lasting ties through memories, deep experiencing and connection. I let it all affect me because it provides peak understanding and perspective.affected by it all

Understanding and perspective light me up. They give my life meaning and perpetually affect me. The openness to truly understand another’s viewpoint leaves me vulnerable at times. I can be influenced. But the same openness often leads to the ability to influence others. Not in a domineering way but in a two-way, win/win way.

Win/win is so satisfying. For everyone.

Meaningful work doesn’t feel like work

All of my work — writing, coaching, working as a paraprofessional — helps others while it helps me. Each position gives me the opportunity to use my inner world thoughts in the outer world. All of the thinking, learning and resolving I do in my head, gets applied to real world relationships. My careers are an outlet for my passion.

What makes these relationships different?

All of my relationships — family, friends, co-workers, intimate — are training grounds and growth catalysts. My mind naturally focuses on relationships. They are the puzzles I can’t stop solving, nor do I want to.

My children challenge me to understand different personalities and exercise patience. They teach me about unconditional love and its importance. The intuitive and compassionate people in my spiritual community feed my soul. They offer support. They remind me of my true self. The relationships I have with other writers, teachers and coaches show me how to collaborate, how to learn from others on similar missions. My intimate relationships are a mix of support, challenge and joy. They’re an opportunity for emotional safety and physical intimacy, both registering as highly meaningful to my happiness.

I’ve had many relationships in the past. Currently, my relationships have a high degree of alignment with my values and inner world. There is safety, comfort and support in that. I believe that is the difference. That is why I am energized and not depleted by all the connections.


In the past, I have assessed as an INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiver) in the Myers Briggs Type Inventory. INFPs sometimes struggle with motivation, until they find their cause, career or meaningful work. Isabel Briggs Myers was an INFP herself. Her (and her mother’s) tireless research and work in the field of personality theory led to the development of the Myers Briggs inventory.

INFPs are also known to have a ‘take things as they come’ attitude when it comes to schedules. They like to keep options open and plans conditional depending on what circumstances arise. They tend to get energized right before a deadline.

I have been known to gather and gather data before taking action. Another trait of INFPs. The last six years have culminated in the creation of my personal development career. Now I have the meaningful work that drives me. I have lots of it. I have self and other – imposed deadlines. I’m working my ass off but loving it.


Author, Stephen Covey (7 Habits for Highly Effective People) said maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. It takes courage to assert your own perspective. It takes consideration to ask others theirs. I’m slowly learning how to create such balance.writer at typewriter windows

The steady progress and inclusion of other’s perspectives makes my Myers Briggs type now seem like an INFJ too. I’m focusing on task completion and harmony, as an INFJ would.

Perhaps I’m maturing. Whatever it is I’m enjoying the energy boost. I highly recommend meaningful work and deadlines for sensitive introverts.

What drives you? What does meaningful work look like for you? Are you immersed in safe supportive relationships? Do deadlines energize you? 

P.S. I set a 1:30PM deadline for finishing this post. Done at 1:28PM. Nailed it! 😉


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One Comment

  1. Loretta December 22, 2016 at 6:35 pm - Reply

    Another really encouraging post! I am just enjoying your posts so much, Brenda! Thank you again for sharing what you do. BTW, you’re negotiating a book contact??!!!! Congrats and please tell me when I can pre-order it!

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