It's Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion

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As we lay together, our bodies swimming in dopamine and light, he said,

Passion’s different, in response to my rundown of future availability.

What did he mean? He meant you can’t make passion fit into a schedule or go away. He likened it to a sled ride.  You get on and fly down the hill.

I blinked and for the first time felt that truth. It felt wrong to corral electricity and flushed skin into time slots on my phone calendar.

I’d always loved based on caring, mutual fascination and future plans, but

passion is different.

Tell Me About Passion…

Passion is chemical pixie lust. It’s a pheromone cocktail drunk by two individuals with no tolerance for its power. You lose control. It’s scary as hell and absofreaking delicious. Scary because you could lose the source of this passion. Delicious because it’s raw and natural and you must taste it.

Every sense is ignited.

If you are lucky you find yourself gasping from vulnerability and fearlessness.  Experiencing it because you can’t not. Riding waves of peak fervor and intimate rest. Never wanting the feeling to end and at the same time begging for merciful release. There is also the knowing that if you never feel it again you experienced something beyond yourself that will linger and sustain you.

Why It Eludes

How had I lived without this feeling for so long?  Could this be what I had namelessly been looking for all along? Succumbing to innate desire is freeing and effortless and umm mouth-watering hot.

Yet, it eluded me for years. I’d sipped drips of it from dramatic films, provocative music and erotic writing.  I’d lived vicariously through sensual friends. I knew I wanted to be close to it; tremor within and without it, but always chose safety instead. I held back if things moved too fast or I felt out of control.  I logically designed the romance I experienced.  My sled had an airbag and an ejector seat.

I’d always put security first.  Passion was fringe and out of control.  How does one naturally give up the reins?  I figured it required one helluva sexy mystical lover to turn off my brain and turn on involuntary heat.

I was right. In my case, it required a partner equally sensitive and sensual and even more free in body and spirit.  No inhibiting hangups, no need for constant reassurance or compulsions to color within the lines.  They also needed to be patient with my occasional inhibiting hangups, requests for reassurance and compulsion to follow the blueprint.  I needed to be shown that those things are keeping me from a freedom and pleasure I have never known.

Passion or Dedication?  

A question posed on an online dating site reads: Which is more important in a relationship, passion or dedication?

Both equally important is not an option (darn it). When I answered this question I tried to go with my knee-jerk reaction.  What popped into my mind first was, passion. Perhaps because I had had dedication in past relationships and it wasn’t enough I simply chose the new, personally novel option.

Old:dedication.  Now: passion.

But is it really the more important component? Safety conscious me wants to say dedication is the more important quality. It demonstrates integrity. But passion isn’t about playing it safe or doing the proper thing.  Passion’s different.

Is passion long-term or fleeting?  At this point I can’t answer that, but in the true spirit of passion I ask, Who cares? Jump on the sled.

Recall a time when passion took over.  I bet you smile.  Do you let yourself lose control?  If no, just for a day let go of the reins.  

**Introverts and Passion

As an introvert, I prefer no relationship to a bad one.  If I am going to put myself out for a relationship it must have potential gloriousness in order for me to devote significant energy to it.  Energy is precious to an introvert.  Passion is energizing and glorious. Not that I won’t want downtime to revel in it afterwards.  I will. But I will also want there to be more.

Before I get comments about using precaution and minding my reputation… I’m not advocating careless sex or promiscuity.  I’m advocating feeling uninhibited with someone you trust.

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22 Comments

  1. indepthwoman
    June 19, 2015

    I prefer passion.. I really don’t like labels and someone calling me their girlfriend or anything else. To many expectations and this blue print to follow. Passion is spontaneous….. I want to experience that high I get when I listen to music… I feel uninhibited. I experience a passionate love affair in my 20’s and it was spontaneous and romantic, I’m almost 34 and its been years sinceI felt that…If I can’t have passion or something close to it. There is no need for me to be intimate with anyone. I want a lover not a label or expectations. A monogamous lover, who can take me to ecstasy and we can revel in each other and sweet passion. I want both of us to be dopamine addicts of passion… my music makes me feel more alive, I want that type of stimuli. I find that men will try to sensor me and my sensuality. The music I listen to, I feel a connection to it and get high off of it. It’s possible to have that in real life. I’ll wait for it!

    Reply
    • Brenda Knowles
      June 20, 2015

      I love the correlation you draw between passion, music and feeling high. I get it. I have ridden that same wave.:)

      Reply
      • indepthwoman
        June 20, 2015

        Music, words is everything to me. The artist I listen to, says a lot about me. I feel very connected… very connected. I know what I want because of the music and it resonating with me. I’ve always been that way. Music, writing, words, that deep mental connection. I can talk about for hours…I ask a guy about his music taste before I ask about his credentials… that alone will tell me the type of guy he is…. If we do not vibe off the same music, then I’m sorry we can’t really talk…some people are shallow when it comes to looks.. not me, its nice when a man is easy on the eyes but I need to know about his music taste, well first hows his relationship with his mother, then his music taste next…I have actually gotten into small quarrels about my music with men. They would say, I’m more into my music than them… how so? Then leave..lol… If I’m high off of music, join in… you just might get lucky..lol..but you want to say something stupid and ruin the mood and get kicked out, lol… I’m passionate about music and I’m not wavering on that…I love that high I get and i’m not giving that up for anyone. Sweet ecstasy! Atleast its not a narcotic or anything destructive… its good and food for my soul. I can not function without music. I’m just very connected with music. It allows me to feel and stand in my femininity and sensuality and I love it!

        Reply
        • Brenda Knowles
          June 21, 2015

          Well said! I hear you. Music and words can be so powerful and reach right down into your soul. 🙂

          Reply
  2. November
    June 19, 2014

    I have never experienced passion with another person. I have never experienced emotional and physical intimacy at the same time. To me, they are very separate. I have had 3 serious relationships, all failed miserably. The first half of my life is almost over (I’m pushing 40). I have a tiny bit of hope for the last half of my life, but just barely. Of course I’d love to meet my soulmate and finally feel passion and have it reciprocated, but I thought my husband was my soulmate, and I had to find out the hard way that he’s not right for me.

    At this point, I get excited and feel my heart go pitter-patter when I am near dogs. I’ve come to realize that the humans I’ve dated aren’t capable of unconditional love, but dogs ARE. So I’m more interested in being with dogs than with people. I have a section of a bulletin board that displays my passions; dogs are listed, people are not.

    Reply
    • Brenda Knowles
      June 20, 2014

      Oh November! I didn’t really experience passion with a partner until I was in my early 40s. There’s still HOPE!!:) It seems easier now for me. I’m more whole and most of the men I meet have a maturity that allows for some level of emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy is harder to develop and maintain. Physical intimacy, for me, seems to develop easily but becomes hard to sustain at a high quality level. I keep trying though. I really love having a deep companionship.
      I’m happy that animals fill you up. They are so kind and true. Comforting as well. Follow whatever passion calls you!

      Reply
    • Sydney Woman
      February 4, 2015

      Definitely believe there is passion available at 40. I experienced my first passionate affair at 38 years of age and it was mind blowing because I hadn’t experienced it as a teenager like most. Prepare yourself though, while it’s fun and the chemical high is mind blowing, you’ll feel out of control and that can be scary for some of us. Let it happen and whatever happens happens. You’ll finally understand love songs and movies. Yes it can happen to you too, infact I’ll say it’s highly likely.

      Reply
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  5. Lisa
    March 4, 2014

    This was amazing. I find that after having experienced that mind blowing passion I have more difficulty to commit now. I´m always expecting to feel that way again. I´ve tried not to but I cant help it!

    Reply
    • Brenda Knowles
      March 4, 2014

      I’ve experienced the most beautiful passion in a committed relationship. The relationship ended and it’s been hard to find a replacement. Mind-blowing passion changes you.;)

      Reply
  6. Lisa
    March 4, 2014

    Reblogged this on A Woman´s Outburst and commented:
    Amazing!! Really interesting and to the point!

    Reply
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  11. Doug Toft
    March 18, 2013

    Months later: Still blown away by that first sentence.

    Reply
    • brennagee
      March 19, 2013

      Yeah… it was lovely and heady and sparkly for a while.:) It’s fun for me to relive the experience through my writing. Glad the first sentence still grabs you.:)

      Reply
  12. Debbi
    September 13, 2012

    I agree…equally important, and you can have passion in the long run. You simply…actually it’s not simple, it’s a conscious action and significant effort…but you have to always bring something new to the relationship…in and out of bed. All the articles I’ve read say “Yes Indeedy. It can be done.”

    Enjoyed the article.

    Reply
    • brennagee
      September 13, 2012

      Some kind of creative spontaneity needs to exist between the couple. Why does the initial fire and chemistry diminish? Routine? Too easy? The mystery disappears? I’m hoping to find the secret to long term passion.;) It’s good to know that it is possible to achieve. Thanks for reading Debbi.

      Reply
  13. Doug Toft
    August 17, 2012

    You hooked me with the first sentence. This took a lot of courage to write. Let me soak it in.

    Reply
    • brennagee
      August 18, 2012

      I’ll admit I did hesitate before I hit the publish button. This is what was begging to be put on the page this week. It’s what I wanted to say. Some will applaud it while others will be appalled. I think all of the best things require courage. Thanks for reading and commenting Doug. I truly appreciate your thoughts.

      Reply
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