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That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms

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It's Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion

As we lay together, our bodies swimming in dopamine and light, he said,

Passion’s different, in response to my rundown of future availability.

What did he mean? He meant you can’t make passion fit into a schedule or go away. He likened it to a sled ride.  You get on and fly down the hill.

I blinked and for the first time felt that truth. It felt wrong to corral electricity and flushed skin into time slots on my phone calendar.

I’d always loved based on caring, mutual fascination and future plans, but

passion is different.

Tell Me About Passion…

Passion is chemical pixie lust. It’s a pheromone cocktail drunk by two individuals with no tolerance for its power. You lose control. It’s scary as hell and absofreaking delicious. Scary because you could lose the source of this passion. Delicious because it’s raw and natural and you must taste it.

Every sense is ignited.

If you are lucky you find yourself gasping from vulnerability and fearlessness.  Experiencing it because you can’t not. Riding waves of peak fervor and intimate rest. Never wanting the feeling to end and at the same time begging for merciful release. There is also the knowing that if you never feel it again you experienced something beyond yourself that will linger and sustain you.

Why It Eludes

How had I lived without this feeling for so long?  Could this be what I had namelessly been looking for all along? Succumbing to innate desire is freeing and effortless and umm mouth-watering hot.

Yet, it eluded me for years. I’d sipped drips of it from dramatic films, provocative music and erotic writing.  I’d lived vicariously through sensual friends. I knew I wanted to be close to it; tremor within and without it, but always chose safety instead. I held back if things moved too fast or I felt out of control.  I logically designed the romance I experienced.  My sled had an airbag and an ejector seat.

I’d always put security first.  Passion was fringe and out of control.  How does one naturally give up the reins?  I figured it required one helluva sexy mystical lover to turn off my brain and turn on involuntary heat.

I was right. In my case, it required a partner equally sensitive and sensual and even more free in body and spirit.  No inhibiting hangups, no need for constant reassurance or compulsions to color within the lines.  They also needed to be patient with my occasional inhibiting hangups, requests for reassurance and compulsion to follow the blueprint.  I needed to be shown that those things are keeping me from a freedom and pleasure I have never known.

Passion or Dedication?  

A question posed on an online dating site reads: Which is more important in a relationship, passion or dedication?

Both equally important is not an option (darn it). When I answered this question I tried to go with my knee-jerk reaction.  What popped into my mind first was, passion. Perhaps because I had had dedication in past relationships and it wasn’t enough I simply chose the new, personally novel option.

Old:dedication.  Now: passion.

But is it really the more important component? Safety conscious me wants to say dedication is the more important quality. It demonstrates integrity. But passion isn’t about playing it safe or doing the proper thing.  Passion’s different.

Is passion long-term or fleeting?  At this point I can’t answer that, but in the true spirit of passion I ask, Who cares? Jump on the sled.

Recall a time when passion took over.  I bet you smile.  Do you let yourself lose control?  If no, just for a day let go of the reins.  

**Introverts and Passion

As an introvert, I prefer no relationship to a bad one.  If I am going to put myself out for a relationship it must have potential gloriousness in order for me to devote significant energy to it.  Energy is precious to an introvert.  Passion is energizing and glorious. Not that I won’t want downtime to revel in it afterwards.  I will. But I will also want there to be more.

Before I get comments about using precaution and minding my reputation… I’m not advocating careless sex or promiscuity.  I’m advocating feeling uninhibited with someone you trust.

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  1. indepthwoman June 19, 2015 at 12:33 pm - Reply

    I prefer passion.. I really don’t like labels and someone calling me their girlfriend or anything else. To many expectations and this blue print to follow. Passion is spontaneous….. I want to experience that high I get when I listen to music… I feel uninhibited. I experience a passionate love affair in my 20’s and it was spontaneous and romantic, I’m almost 34 and its been years sinceI felt that…If I can’t have passion or something close to it. There is no need for me to be intimate with anyone. I want a lover not a label or expectations. A monogamous lover, who can take me to ecstasy and we can revel in each other and sweet passion. I want both of us to be dopamine addicts of passion… my music makes me feel more alive, I want that type of stimuli. I find that men will try to sensor me and my sensuality. The music I listen to, I feel a connection to it and get high off of it. It’s possible to have that in real life. I’ll wait for it!

    • Brenda Knowles June 20, 2015 at 2:15 pm - Reply

      I love the correlation you draw between passion, music and feeling high. I get it. I have ridden that same wave.:)

      • indepthwoman June 20, 2015 at 2:45 pm - Reply

        Music, words is everything to me. The artist I listen to, says a lot about me. I feel very connected… very connected. I know what I want because of the music and it resonating with me. I’ve always been that way. Music, writing, words, that deep mental connection. I can talk about for hours…I ask a guy about his music taste before I ask about his credentials… that alone will tell me the type of guy he is…. If we do not vibe off the same music, then I’m sorry we can’t really talk…some people are shallow when it comes to looks.. not me, its nice when a man is easy on the eyes but I need to know about his music taste, well first hows his relationship with his mother, then his music taste next…I have actually gotten into small quarrels about my music with men. They would say, I’m more into my music than them… how so? Then… If I’m high off of music, join in… you just might get you want to say something stupid and ruin the mood and get kicked out, lol… I’m passionate about music and I’m not wavering on that…I love that high I get and i’m not giving that up for anyone. Sweet ecstasy! Atleast its not a narcotic or anything destructive… its good and food for my soul. I can not function without music. I’m just very connected with music. It allows me to feel and stand in my femininity and sensuality and I love it!

        • Brenda Knowles June 21, 2015 at 7:47 am - Reply

          Well said! I hear you. Music and words can be so powerful and reach right down into your soul. 🙂

  2. November June 19, 2014 at 11:25 am - Reply

    I have never experienced passion with another person. I have never experienced emotional and physical intimacy at the same time. To me, they are very separate. I have had 3 serious relationships, all failed miserably. The first half of my life is almost over (I’m pushing 40). I have a tiny bit of hope for the last half of my life, but just barely. Of course I’d love to meet my soulmate and finally feel passion and have it reciprocated, but I thought my husband was my soulmate, and I had to find out the hard way that he’s not right for me.

    At this point, I get excited and feel my heart go pitter-patter when I am near dogs. I’ve come to realize that the humans I’ve dated aren’t capable of unconditional love, but dogs ARE. So I’m more interested in being with dogs than with people. I have a section of a bulletin board that displays my passions; dogs are listed, people are not.

    • Brenda Knowles June 20, 2014 at 4:38 pm - Reply

      Oh November! I didn’t really experience passion with a partner until I was in my early 40s. There’s still HOPE!!:) It seems easier now for me. I’m more whole and most of the men I meet have a maturity that allows for some level of emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy is harder to develop and maintain. Physical intimacy, for me, seems to develop easily but becomes hard to sustain at a high quality level. I keep trying though. I really love having a deep companionship.
      I’m happy that animals fill you up. They are so kind and true. Comforting as well. Follow whatever passion calls you!

    • Sydney Woman February 4, 2015 at 7:50 pm - Reply

      Definitely believe there is passion available at 40. I experienced my first passionate affair at 38 years of age and it was mind blowing because I hadn’t experienced it as a teenager like most. Prepare yourself though, while it’s fun and the chemical high is mind blowing, you’ll feel out of control and that can be scary for some of us. Let it happen and whatever happens happens. You’ll finally understand love songs and movies. Yes it can happen to you too, infact I’ll say it’s highly likely.

  3. […] It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion […]

  4. […] It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion (space2live) […]

  5. Lisa March 4, 2014 at 9:10 am - Reply

    This was amazing. I find that after having experienced that mind blowing passion I have more difficulty to commit now. I´m always expecting to feel that way again. I´ve tried not to but I cant help it!

    • Brenda Knowles March 4, 2014 at 1:57 pm - Reply

      I’ve experienced the most beautiful passion in a committed relationship. The relationship ended and it’s been hard to find a replacement. Mind-blowing passion changes you.;)

  6. Lisa March 4, 2014 at 8:59 am - Reply

    Reblogged this on A Woman´s Outburst and commented:
    Amazing!! Really interesting and to the point!

  7. […] It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion […]

  8. […] It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion […]

  9. […] It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion […]

  10. […] It’s Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion (space2live) […]

  11. Doug Toft March 18, 2013 at 9:21 pm - Reply

    Months later: Still blown away by that first sentence.

    • brennagee March 19, 2013 at 2:30 pm - Reply

      Yeah… it was lovely and heady and sparkly for a while.:) It’s fun for me to relive the experience through my writing. Glad the first sentence still grabs you.:)

  12. Debbi September 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm - Reply

    I agree…equally important, and you can have passion in the long run. You simply…actually it’s not simple, it’s a conscious action and significant effort…but you have to always bring something new to the relationship…in and out of bed. All the articles I’ve read say “Yes Indeedy. It can be done.”

    Enjoyed the article.

    • brennagee September 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm - Reply

      Some kind of creative spontaneity needs to exist between the couple. Why does the initial fire and chemistry diminish? Routine? Too easy? The mystery disappears? I’m hoping to find the secret to long term passion.;) It’s good to know that it is possible to achieve. Thanks for reading Debbi.

  13. Doug Toft August 17, 2012 at 10:02 pm - Reply

    You hooked me with the first sentence. This took a lot of courage to write. Let me soak it in.

    • brennagee August 18, 2012 at 8:05 am - Reply

      I’ll admit I did hesitate before I hit the publish button. This is what was begging to be put on the page this week. It’s what I wanted to say. Some will applaud it while others will be appalled. I think all of the best things require courage. Thanks for reading and commenting Doug. I truly appreciate your thoughts.

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