Set free

I’ve experienced the most delicious freedom over the last few months. The interesting thing is I still have the same responsibilities and reasons to stress, maybe more now, but something is different.

It’s not like this freedom, this peace, was not previously available .  It was always there.

Imperfect in Suburbia

The difference is I no longer feel obligated to be perfect.  I’ve given myself permission to  move with life but not control it.  I refuse to keep up with everyone. So, no my kids haven’t gotten their flu shots yet.  No, I haven’t put all my Christmas decorations away.  No, my kids aren’t all pulling straight As.

I say, No, if I don’t want to do something. I keep time for myself even if I could get 100 things done in that space.

There’s clutter in my kitchen.  I’ve left the house with my bed unmade four times (still hard for me).

I let the kids stay up late watching movies with me on the weekends then I let them sleep in the next day.  I don’t stress about staying on schedule.  The movie experience is more than worth it.

I’m looking forward to moving into a smaller less complicated home within a comfortable neighborhood. I no longer have to have the American dream house.

I’m giving myself a break.

I’m showing my children what meaningful living is.

There is much more laughter and dancing in our kitchen these days.

Getting Things Done Despite Lower Expectations

The strange thing is I’m more productive than ever. I use my Iphone to create to do lists and I complete them (albeit at my pace, which is anything but lightning fast). Not living up to unreasonable expectations takes weight off frustrated shoulders.  It’s possible to accomplish without being overwrought. What a lovely notion.

The Introvert Way to Contentedness

It’s always felt more me to focus on relationships and experiences but this world Niagara_rapidsemphasizes productivity and possessions. Striving is second nature for us. Contentedness is rare. It’s not easy to climb out of the water and rest on the shore.  Everything and everyone wants you to join them in the deep end or in the racing current.

I find myself spending more time chatting with the people who surround me. I’m still an introvert, so these are often one on one or small group chats but the cool thing is I have the space and energy to include these encounters in my day. I even have enough energy to offer to help others if I hear stress in their words or body language. This makes me feel whole and I believe it gives them a boost too.

Several people have remarked about how calm and comforting I am to be around. I think others relax because I am relaxed.  Most people bloom when released from expectations of perfection. Everyone needs to experience the gift of imperfection and acceptance.

 Secrets to Loosely Keeping It Together 

246631622I no longer waste energy keeping myself perfectly together. I don’t have to have the latest clothing or gadget. I take care of myself but don’t worry if I miss a workout. I don’t have to have the perfect shoes to go with every outfit. I mostly wear my favorite worn-in jeans with boots that make me feel sexy. Exercise and good conversation give me a glow that meticulous makeup never will.

I am much more into breathing naturally and smiling easily.

I know much of this peaceful feeling is because I have a better understanding of what is important in life.  This, of course, comes with age and life experiences.  I also have a more keen awareness of when I am happy, delighted and pleased. I feel it and store the warmth. This awareness makes an impression on my behavior and influences how I treat others.

Appearances and Losing Your Mind

I ran across this line in an advertisement the other day, Free pressure washing of sidewalk and driveway with an exterior painting estimate.  I thought to myself, What the hell? Now our sidewalks have to be immaculate and perfect too? It’s a sidewalk.  People walk on it. It’s outside. Dirt is expected outside, yes? 

I grew up in the country.  Things were allowed to naturally weather and change.  It wasn’t necessary to chaperone the house, yard and children through every step of existence until perfection was reached.  Sure, as a kid I wished my parents would belong to the country club or have big expensive homes but as an adult I have fond memories of cheap entertainment and imperfect homes.

My house goes up for sale this spring. Old habits die hard. My head is starting to buzz with details that need to be attended to in order to make the house perfect. I feel overwhelm creeping in. A drowning feeling sits on the periphery of my calm state. I realize the perfection is not for me.  It’s for the buyers and the rest of the neighborhood. I hope to maintain a sense of peace as I go through the move but I also know I may crack at some point. Yeah, I’m imperfect.

It’ll be OK.

Do you hold yourself to high standards? Do you feel you have to keep up with others? How could you ease up on yourself?