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The pleasure, pain and growth of human connection.

Worried About Being ‘Too Much’ in a Relationship: High Sensitivity and the Relational Paradox

By |2016-10-23T20:11:17-05:00October 21st, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Relational paradox: When convinced a relationship won't tolerate who you really are, you leave a part of you out of that relationship. When I read the description of a relational paradox in Dr. Amy Banks' book, Wired for Connection:The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships, a lightbulb went on in my head. The [...]

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Politics Getting to You? Dealing with Conflict and Hostility as a Highly Sensitive Person

By |2016-10-14T15:36:01-05:00October 14th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I dared to jump on Facebook for a bit on Saturday. Minutes into my perusal, I found myself scanning down the comments on an update of the only person I've ever considered un-friending. This person's language and people bashing have turned my stomach on a few occasions. Today was no different. The thread on their post was full [...]

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Are Perfection-Seeking and Self-Reliance Holding You Back from Love? The Avoidant Attachment Style’s MO

By |2019-08-25T15:58:28-05:00October 7th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Since childhood, I've learned to self-soothe and be self-reliant. My parents were/are great, loving parents. I always knew they were there for me if I really needed them. There was a lot of fun, conversation and adventure in our home. They both had personalities that fostered independence in their children. My dad is entrepreneurial, curious and hardworking. [...]

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Does Your Mate or Your Community Fulfill Your Emotional Needs?

By |2016-10-05T10:52:21-05:00September 30th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

What is different is that modern life has depleted us of our traditional resources, and has created a situation where we turn to one person for the protection and emotional connections that a multitude of social networks used to provide. Adult intimacies have become overburdened with expectations.  —Esther Perel, Future of Couples: Is the Institution of [...]

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Is He or She Long-Term Love Material?

By |2016-09-23T20:42:51-05:00September 23rd, 2016|Categories: Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

How do you know when a relationship has long-term loving potential? Since my last relationship ended, I took time off to figure out what went wrong, then dated casually, then dated a little less casually. I haven't committed to anything serious... At this point, I am hyper-sensitive to potential pitfalls in a serious relationship. My brain and [...]

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How to Get Your Emotional Needs Met with Effective Communication

By |2016-09-15T15:52:42-05:00September 16th, 2016|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

After my marriage ended, I swore I would never stuff down my emotions and act like everything was OK or remain silent about what I needed from a partner. I was going to be open and communicate effectively. I had no idea how hard it is to know what you want and articulate it. I had no [...]

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Testimonials

“Your depth of understanding and talent at sharing it amaze me.  Speechless…and for your sharing of it… Thank you… deeply. *sigh, it’s like coming back into my body through acceptance…  Sherrie on space2live”

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Testimonials

BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring… Read more
J.K.
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best… Read more
Sharon
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i… Read more
Niko
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t… Read more
Evan H.
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un… Read more
Gary
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB

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